LOVING EACH OTHER

On the red month of February, I just thought this is the perfect time to write about love, any kind of love.  There is love about affection, friendship, there is romance, and the unconditional love.  But today, it’s nice to talk about Eros love, it is love month anyway.  Because the most beautiful thing that can ever happen to someone in this world is to love and loved.  No matter what happen, be it sweet or painful, at least you have felt how to be in-love.  When a man and a woman fall in love, it’s always “till death do they part” their own course for they are perfectly for each other.  It takes a man and woman to build a family and fill this earth to set forth, be fruitful and multiply.

When the powerful love gets to conquer anyone, no mountain is high and no ocean is deep, all will despise just to obey what it called for.  Because of this emotion, many have got insane and take the chances and have ended up together in the end.  But love is not always as perfect as it should be, sometimes relationships don’t work and has its end.  And indeed because of this love, many have tempted to take the left turn.  For couples, being faithful is one of the main keys for successful marriage, aside from the respect, trust, and give and take, love can go deep and grow even more.  Although there is no perfect relationship, misunderstanding and argument that they may go through are normal for every couple.  But if there is physical harm for any of the couple, then it is not healthy that should put to end.

For those suffering spouses whose love is fading, do not let it until even the respect has gone.  You should spare yourself, don’t afraid in unhappy ending because it is not.  Slumping in despair is not happy.  Stand, pick up your pieces, go out, shout out it quit, build yourself up and love yourself.  Parting each way is not the end anyway but the beginning of your each own life.  Don’t feel the guilt of failure for not having fulfilled your vow and violating what God has bind together is no man can separate because you are only writing the boarder lines between your physical bodies.  Your parenting as good parents to your children is still there, and even your support to each other as announced husband and wife can be civilly extended.

When it comes to third party in any love triangle, entering into this relationship is risky move that is tough to get out.  Do not entertain any chance that will lead to this illicit affair.  Jink as early because once hooked is really so difficult to eschew.  Entering into this relationship is always on the losing side.  Love is really mysterious where wrong becomes right, it is heart over mind, the feeling dictates rather the rationalization.  It is really painful but it needs to stop.  If you are into this kind of love, learn the art of acceptance of letting go. Love knows sacrifices, if you really know what love is, don’t be selfish to own the thing that is not yours.  The reason why you did not meet ahead of your present partner on the first place is because you are not to each other.

Now, all relationship outside marriage is always forbidden.  And there is another love that may not into triangle but still in questionable.  Included in this affair that is more even complicated relationship than those illicit affairs of a man and a woman is the love of the same sexes that despite of modernization, receptive, and acknowledged are still considerably unconventional and still not fully accepted.  When love rules, you cannot really tell that you will not go wrong.  They may have the feeling of pure and genuine love though in wrong place, what these homosexual relationships least to do is to control their show of public display of affection.  It is really good for those gays and lesbians who hid their affair rather than those open that becomes an object of ridicule, criticism and laughter.   If you are into homosexual relationship, no matter how liberated and how much you love each other, still there is always an appropriate prescribed etiquette that must be observed.  Let us always put ourselves in the proper place, be it man, woman, gay or lesbian whether it is in friendship, infatuation and love.  Loving each other is not enough, you have to consider what is right and fair.

By Alex V. Villamayor

February 14, 2014

MISTAKING “INSHA’ALLAH” MEANS

We should be careful in religious words that are foreign language in our vernacular when using them in social communication.  “Insha’Allah” is an Arabic word for “God willing” or “if Allah wills” which is commonly use in Islamic world.  It is a religious phrase that is so pure, sensitive and dignified, thus it is just ought to be used properly, honoured and respected.  The phrase is about submission ourselves to God.  Meaning we put in God’s hands anything we do and anything we want.  It is said when we are speaking about our plans and events that will come in the future, we are still giving it all to God if He wants to happen.  Everything is written, whatever you want no matter how hard you do but if is not written in God’s plan it will not happen.  All is depend on God.

However, many among us non-Muslim expatriates living or working in Islamic countries are misusing the words “Insha’Allah”.  Most of the times, we often mistaken to mean it as “we hope”, “I hope” and misinterpreting when heard it from someone we talk with as “let’s see”.  In a way could be yes but technically it connotes off-meaning.  Don’t feel bad to think you cannot rely when you heard it, it is not false hope.  Don’t take it for granted when saying while you mean is to pacify someone, it is not giving optimism.  Do not get it wrong when using and understanding “Insha’Allah”.

I heard a convincing explanation from a supervisor describing the meaning of “Insha’Allah”.  She said people have misunderstood the meaning of this phrase as negative response because they thought it means a resounding “no”, “I hope so”, “whatever”.  She said the exact translation of this in English is “in God’s will” meaning everything and anything is under God’s will.  No matter how we wanted something but if God doesn’t want it will not happen.  The future is not in our hands anymore.

She cited the papers that she needs to sign as an example.  Even she really wanted to approve them and even she’s hundred per cent confident sure about the approval but if God doesn’t want to make it happen, it will not happen.  The papers could be lost, mess up or whatever obstruction that will result to being useless of her approving the paper.  That is why even she knows she will approve it, she still has to say “in God’s will” because nobody knows what will happen next between now until the moment she sign the paper.

It is just pretty degrading to hear fellowmen using this blessed phrase in wrong way.  Don’t act to sound good by saying without knowing what you’re really saying.  Better do not pronounce it if you are non-Muslim if you will just lose it sacredness because it sounds annoying.  If someone asked if will you or will you not and you want to answer you do not know, do not say “Insha’Allah”.  It is not “bahala na” in Philippines language that we use when we do not know the thing.  It is not “que serra, serra” that so be it whatever will happen.  If you are praying something, do not say “Insha’Allah” because it is not the password that will grant your wishes.  If you are answering inquiry from someone who wants to get something, do not utter the phrase to give hope as it is not about good luck or bad luck.  It is not fortune but the will of the God.

By Alex V. Villamayor

February 8, 2014

MAKING THE SIGN OF THE CROSS

The sign of the cross starts from touching yourself on your forehead with the finger or fingers on your right hand while saying “In the name of the Father”.  Then moving the finger or fingers to the centre of your chest and saying “and of the Son”.   And moving your finger or fingers to your left shoulder and then to right shoulder while saying “and of the Holy Spirit”.  That’s it and that’s all.   If for some reason there are more moves to do it, they are small alterations in our ritual that depends on the denomination we belong and we subscribe.  But those four moves and three phrases complete your sign of the cross that stands as your defining mark of your religion.  If one will ask the right way of sign of the cross, it will be a broad description to answer back.

There is no single way of sign of the cross to say this is the proper way to do it.  Depends on where you live, your sign of the cross can differ from the above.  Some are touching each other palms at the end, others are kissing their fingers.  While others are using three fingers together, some are two while others use only their thumbs.  In other places it is from right to left shoulder.  It really depends in our location.  If you’re from Eastern Orthodox, Western church’s Anglican, Oriental Orthodox, or Eastern Catholic Churches or if you are Lutheran.  In some country like Russia, they do it from right shoulder to left.  In Spain and Mexico, they kiss their thumb while in Asia’s most dominated Christian country Philippines touch their chin or the lower lip.  In west, they do the sign it in a small way by writing through their thumb a small cross over the forehead, lips and at the center of their breast.

It only claims that there is no such thing as the most right way of signing the cross.  In our religious conviction, we should not be conscious if it’s right or wrong as long as you’re true when you’re doing it.  Correctness is not important anyway, it is a dying practice anyhow because some of Christians are not doing the sign of the cross.  And either way of the above mentioned methods doesn’t matter one way or another.  At any rate, neither way is written in the Bible, neither is right or wrong, none of them were dictated by Scripture.  In the Bible, it is not instructed to cross ourselves, only the parish priests and tradition dictate how you do your sign of the cross.  No one can stop or criticize your sign of the cross, as long as you are sincere when you do this then you are the most right.

Sign of the cross is the symbol of Christianity.  It is a practice of Christian that hints the start of the prayer, gesture of respect and recognition, and show of appreciation and gratitude.  It means so many things in our Christendom.  Joining the three fingers (thumbs, index and middle) symbolizes the Holy Trinity of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  Others are using four fingers which the fourth represents Virgin Mary, while others are using their hands that represent their inclusion with the four pre-mentioned persona.  In signing the cross, the forehead symbolizes the heaven, our stomach is the earth, and our shoulders are the place of the God.  From our doubts of the proper way of making sign of the cross to the interpretations of this sign, this is our belief as Christian that should not be questioned among us within our religion.

By Alex V. Villamayor

February 1, 2014.