SOMETHING FOR YOU

It’s nice to receive something if they are really meant for you.  It means it is something intentionally given to you without being asked, hinted, instructed or demanded.  Whatever you want, it is always nice and better to have them if you really know they are unexpected or unsolicited.  Things that have given to you without being asked, hinted or making felt for are those worth to keep and treasure because it is in here where the true meaning of surprise, spirit of the true purpose and sincere giving are with you.  It is flattering to know you were remembered and were really intended to be given and not just complied because of ashamed or constrained.  There are people who cannot wait to be given of whatever they wanted to get, speak what they want to receive be it small or inexpensive.  They will really make way to let you know in whatever ways to give them homecoming goodies, handover them of complementary giveaways, and receive presents whatever the occasions might be.  If by any chance they were not given, sometimes they will really go to the person to poke fun in giving them.  Or they will really say beforehand to give them something before the day comes.

Let us not precede the giving.  Let us not lead to go through by imposing the giving of gifts, homecoming present, and giveaways.  Sometimes we thought it is okay to do these often because we are taking into consideration the friendship that we will not be rejected anyway, or saying these are just merely expression of fondness, or presupposing that these small things are not really big inconvenience.  But whichever the case, being voluntary giving is still and always preferable, precious, better and solemn.  If we are giving hint for what we want to receive, it could push someone to dead end and get caught red-handed to force them to give.  Sometimes people cannot just say no because of shy or simply just being trapped until finally do so.  And what is the importance of all of this if it is not really from the heart?  Giving the benefit of the doubt by saying it’s willingly given even it is after being told only, let us admit that it is still different and more meaningful if you were taught-out or took time to find something for you rather than pressed.  Unless it is really an honest to goodness oblivion, otherwise receiving is still better to think that you will not be forgotten if you were really meant to be given. But you don’t have to remind, because assuming that it was really forgotten, it is better not to remind because the truth was you were remembered but were only forgotten.

Forced gift is thoughtless and has never been meaningful.  Let us wait to receive.  There is nothing wrong to ask as long as it is only occasional or it is really a necessity.  There are just people who are really prone fond of asking and soliciting not because they are less fortunate, lacking, or they are in dire need but rather they are just merely thrilled to get for they are happy when they were given.  How can you be proud to have collection of souvenir if in fact you should not suppose to have them?  There are really persons who love to beseech.  In a local slang word, they were called harbatera or arbotera (female form).  Some are just fond to receive even trivial or big.  Beseeching that eventually affirmative is nice because it adds confidence in our human interrelationships by feeling other people loves us for they cannot say no to us. But it is not just about asking something intended to serve as showmanship of fondness but it is a bad habit that reflects our personality.  The lack of shame character of a person becomes wrong and irksome if habitually done in several circumstances.  Let’s learn to wait and receive, why it needs to precede, why not just wait being handed over to know if you were really intended to be given? 

Ni Alex V. Villamayor

March 24, 2015

IF I WERE THE PRESIDENT

(Click below for the video)

This video is actually a self-test to assess the oral communication thru a prepared social-themed formal speech.  Among the comments received are the poor diction and need of clarity on some words for the weak points.  The good points include the sense of confidence, spontaneity and the non-usage of jurgon words.

By Alex V. Villamayor
August 17, 2015 

BEING STINGY

Stingy is a person who uses strong control in the flow of cash and doesn’t easily cuts the value of his money if not really needed and worth.  When it comes in any financial matter, the person immediately weighs the pros and cons before letting go the money from hand and pocket.  And keeps it maintained at is.  It’s fine for me to know a person of this personality, and personally I take no offense if were called stingy.  Being it is, as long as you are fairly not taking advantage and abusing anyone, and as long as you look the spending habit based on reality and on pragmatism trait, then it is not bad.  Some people are just faultfinding and taking it against being stingy and thrifty because they feel it’s corniness that does not belong to the group who are enjoying the fun of life.  Actually, some people consider stingy a human imperfection, fault, defect and shortcoming.

There is dammed distinction and thin red line separating between stingy and abusing. Thrifty is a person who doesn’t want to spend as much as possible if not really for basic needs, instead would rather keep the money.  If you are controlling your spending just to save from anything you want to have, that is not wrong as long as there is no life and health put at risk otherwise it is not the applied savings you are bringing into life.  If a person enjoys and abuses being always financially excused from the rest of the group, in advantage to spend for their expenses among his group, cheats to save and wants to gain without giving, then that is abusing.  The same thing to interrelate stingy with miser; when someone who is extremely ungenerous with money, that is miser but it should not be mistakenly quoted same with stingy.  While miser is about greed and mean grasping person, stinginess is only about not being generous.  Stingy is sparing or scant in using, giving and spending but not selfish.  And being ungenerous doesn’t mean not appreciative, in fact a stingy or thrifty person can give appreciation gift.  It could be small and economical but at least there is the gesture of appreciation and it is not always gaining.

There is nothing really to feel offend to be stingy for it is just being thrifty, practical, reasonable and realistic.  Instead, what you need to do is to distinguish how far and up to what extent should you go stingy?  Unless you are in dire financial debt, if you have limited resources, if the nature of expenditure is something that is against your traits, then it is in the right track when you hold back to spend.  Why to spend gadgets that are just luxury, tasty foods that contradicts wellness, partake in contributions that do not worth the cause, pay something that is not worth the price, and take things that you just want and not important and necessity?  Why will you give money for the sake of cooperation if everyone knows its end will mean harm?  Do you really need party or it is just an instigation of materialism?  These check and balance are reality and truthfulness, knowing the difference between necessities and wants.

There are people who just love spending and they usually criticise those stingy out of normal norms because of its contradiction to their interests, outdated get-up, materials and curiosities, and boring daily simple and quite life.  People most common excuses are the needs to enjoy the shortness of life and the truth of nothing we can bring into next life after death.  And this is what materialism about that exactly what those thrifty persons stay away from.  It’s a matter of how we enjoy life and since we will all go to afterlife fully bare and empty-handed, establishing our future and cleansing our mortal life while living on earth are certainly right.  And as final and closing words, I have but observed that those people who often criticize are those who have needs more – thoughts to ponder.

By Alex V. Villamayor

August 21, 2015

DREAMING THE HOUSE

Initially I’m not really convinced to take it but when you freely decided to accept things you did not want at first, eventually you will learn to love it.  This is the testimony that love can be learned.  If there is really nothing someone else forced you, things can be learned because you somehow preferred it, though was not love at first sight but at least you accepted it without force. I have proven this from what I’ve been through.

Flashback before this, I always wanted to live in a dream house that I carefully sketched.  A villa house in a spacious porch, painted in light pastel colors with wide garden at the back, a stylish design with modern furniture and fixtures.  I was daydreaming it since I constructed it in my papers and notebooks during high school until collage.  From time to time I made changes in the living room, dining area, kitchen, bed room and bathroom until perfection.  I think it’s almost, if not all, everybody’s utmost goal in life – to live in their dream house.

Landing in a job, we are all hyper to work hard in pursuing this dream but sometimes things we wanted so much are not always turning into our hands.  The times are moving on until we feel it is not that as easy as what we thought.  Until we made some modifications in our plans, that’s when I realized to change my dream house nearest to its probability.  During my late 20’s until mid 30’s, I started to like a cosy house in an open lawn with small atrium which is what I like most in a house, which I changed later when I was in my 40’s into a townhouse or a small house in a wide backyard like garden.  If despite these downgrading changes the dream house is still elusive, living in a small own house will be enough.

This is what happened to me.  When I cannot get the dream houses that I wanted, it forced me to get the least that is near to my standards.  I acquired a small size low-cost townhouse type near in my hometown.  I have so much to undergo before taking this.  From the beginning, I’ve been looking somewhere but simply nothing is really matching my searchings – the budget, the place, the design.  Until this one came to me that I am not supposed to choose because at time it came, I am more attracted to other one that is an innovative urban modern design and art deco design inspired like flat roof, multi corners and glass walls but the place is farther.  It’s actually smaller than what I want but it’s bigger than what I acquired.  But I need to decide, so I meet the halfway for each and the outcome, I chose the townhouse nearer to my childhood home and family.

Although not first choice but it is somehow that I wanted and besides, as soon as I have it means an investment right away.  I admit I didn’t like it at first but while it takes long, I am learning to love it and it’s in here where I started to love it.  Now, I am dreaming how beautify this tiny ideal home.  If by the time I will stay for good in my homeland and I still love this tiny dream house, then I’ll stay here.  But I still want the garden home that I planned as my retiring home, and if can have it when I get retired, then I will encash this investment and get what I truly want.

By Alex V. Villamayor

August 14, 2015

CALLING ALL OFW’s

In terms of wealth, sometimes I am thinking most of the people around me are luckier than am.  There are friends and colleagues as migrant workers who have so many opportunities to become rich but have just disregarded.  I mean, they have the hefty pay, the capital and the other sources but not in use.  I think, if only I can fill in their shoes which I wish, I think I will be better-off than those. I might sound over confident but I have to say it because I want to inspire my overseas-worker readers thru my flaw that they're on better place to start.

Lucky are those who have inherited properties from their parents unlike me who have to start on my own and have to strive hard to own.  But you, all you need to do is just to nourish them.  Grab that opportunity to make these properties profitable.  Invest from it, make savings to fund your capital instead of buying luxuries that do not last.  Today is your chance while you are earning well-paid here.  Lucky those whose place is in the south and north of Luzon or in the provinces of Mindanao and Visaya for your cost of living there is not as high as in my place in the east of Manila where a parcel of lot is ranging from 7k – 13k per square metre.  Where the sizes of land in your places are so vast from 300 sqm to hectares, while in my place, to have a hundred is lucky enough.  Why don’t you take this chance to invest in this property rather than sustaining enjoyment of lifestyle here?  Lucky you who are engineers and architects, or administrative assistant like me but earning more handsome sum, and lucky you who have abounding overtime for you’re edge to earn and save more, faster and earlier than am.  Still, I hear them complaining about financial difficulties. When I see them satisfying every inch of gadget, I need no further explanation.  It’s budget issue.

It’s good not to compare ourselves with others for we have different undergoing and all of us have our own responsibilities and different degree of necessities to keep us going but we have the same opportunity to work here for more decent pay.  It’s not defense to say someone has the bigger responsibilities like expensive education, household maintenance and social needs of family because it’s all our choice. We always have the choice to be simple and we always have the priority.  Everything is balance, it’s just depends on how to handle them.  And we’ll see most of us are becoming extremely fond in the wonder of gadgets, physical get-up, food trips, and parties while here.  These are not wrong actually but taking them more than once is what makes them wrong.  When we say we pumper ourselves once in a while, are we really meant once?  Learn the definition of the so called “once”, maybe need to redefine it, know the distinction of necessities over wants and know your limitations.

When we do our thanksgiving, is there any other means other than celebration that only you and yourselves are enjoying?  And when we share our blessings, are we giving them in the right time, right place and right way?  Lastly, do we really need to make celebration when we were blessed?  Maybe we’re just becoming materialistic?  This whole message is not yours anyway if you’re a real and honest to goodness well-off, or feel not guilty if your every single cent goes to important cause like housing, health, education and reasonable comfort in life but those not, it’s time to make self-reflection.  Ask yourself where did you put all those earnings.  Maybe you need to put some control and assess your financial literacy.

Being generous is fine but doing it in multi-circumstance is wasteful.  It is not being accommodating but is is already more on pride and vanity.  I do not criticize those known stingy.  I have admiration in them for they know how to value their earnings.  I take no offense actually to be called stingy on the first place, for I know there is nothing wrong with it.  There is thin separating line between stingy and exploit.  While stinginess is practicality and reality, exploiting and abusive are selfishness.  As I always say learn to embrace the art of simple life.  I am happy that I am blessed to have the proficiency of living the simplicity and in here where I can feel I am luckier than others.

By Alex V. Villamayor

August 11, 2015

DISCRIMINATING RELIGION

Religion Discrimination is character in treating a person or group differently because of what they do or do not believe.  A sensitive issue that exists and seriously disputed in education, society, politics, employment but most of the time taken for granted and neglected in our personal issue.  Some people are already becoming secularist because they are judging others based on religion.  Maybe these people are unconsciously doing it but then their behaviour is persecuting other people who are in another flock of affiliated religion.  Things may not obvious prejudice that cannot instantly perceive but categorically, these people are already doing discrimination when it comes in religion.  There are things that we do not take serious cautions because they look so trivial from our perspective or simply we do not feel it bad at all because of its simplicity and triviality.  But these seemed to be just mundane things are actually overshadowing the whole picture, the religion discrimination.

To cite examples, there are people whom they’re hot-blooded and are apparently fierce from even minor faults of their peers who are in other sect of their religion.  If right away you are irritated at the person just because of his religion affiliation, or they are biased to reject everything that a person is doing simply because that person is from other faith, if they will not consider someone to join in their group because of their spiritual differences, if for whatever reason you feel uncomfortable with anyone from other religion other than yours, or if you are accusing and judging the whole religion itself just because of the personality of one of its followers, then these are religion discrimination.  Hypocrisy is yours for you are not really practicing to be a good follower of your own religion. Not good for you, if you are judgmental to your brothers and sisters, who the wise man are you to treat anyone undeserved and to capably ignore the other human creation of God?

It is just saddening to see people who despite oftentimes love to express their piousness are turned to be having hidden instigation of sin.  Religious hypocrisy, they are those who always recite their prayers, acting their religious gestures, good in giving advice about the right things, putting spiritual images in their places and belongings, keenly practicing their religion but deep inside they are very well trained in worldly traits like politicking, cheating, and protecting personal interest to name a few.  The unholy saints, funny to see someone who is sincerely praying but we know how unlikely behavior he does.  In a group argument, he shares his wisdom, strongly reiterates his opinion, citing reaction and critics, and then he portray the good brother to everybody.  Pity these kinds of people for they will not change any longer because for what they thought they’re pious.

The problem with some of us is that we believe more on our wisdom than our book.  Stop religion discrimination.  If you thought you are doing the right thing you strongly believe right, then you must look the whole thing as the religion you are representing and not your personal feeling.  You are causing the defect of your group.  If you have undergone a distasteful experience with a certain person from other spiritual affiliation, do not let your emotion rule over your head.  It is not everybody’s fault the mistakes of one, it is unfair.  Bigoted persons should go back to their old school to refresh their good moral and right conduct.

By Alex V. Villamayor

August 9, 2015

MALING AKALA

Gaano ba talaga natin kakilala ang mga tao na kilala natin?  Yung kapag wala na sila sa paningin natin, alam pa ba natin kung ano ang kanilang mga ginagawa?  Mayroon tayong mga kasa-kasamang tao na ang buong akala natin ay mabuting tao dahil madaling makagaangan ng loob ang kanilang maamong mukha at mabulaklak na pananalita.  Nakikita pa natin na masaya silang kausap at kasama dahil mapagpatawa sila sa gitna ng mga pag-uusap.  At ang alam pa natin ay madasalin, relihiyoso at makaluma sila ngunit ang hindi natin alam ay sa kabila ng mga ito ay kabilang din pala sila sa mga tao na masama ang ugali. Bagamat totoo na mabait ang pakikiharap nila sa atin ngunit ang totoo ay mapintasin pala sila, mapanghusga, matalas ang dila, mapaghiganti, matigas ang puso, mapanggamit o kung anu-ano pang mga kapangitan ng ugali kapag hindi na natin kaharap.  Iba ang pakikiharap kaysa sa pakikisama.  Paano malalaman ng ibang tao na ang nakikita, nakakausap at nalalaman nilang matulungin, maaawain at mapagkalingang kapwa ay hindi naman pala ganuon kapag wala na sa harapan?

Sa isang positibong pagbibigay-katwiran, maaaring kaya sila nagpapakita ng magandang katangian sa maraming tao ay upang maparami nila ang kanilang kaibigan, kakilala o kasama dahil iyun ang nagpapasaya sa kanilang buhay.  May mga taong sadyang mahilig sa mga kasiyahan, popularidad at pagpaparami ng mga kaibigan.  Ngunit mag-iisip ka na marami nga silang napupuntahan at nagiging kaibigan ngunit bakit marami din silang nakaka-samaan ng loob?  Kung isa, dalawa o tatlo ang iyong nakaalitan ay maaari na itong bale-walain dahil maaaring ang mga ito aysimpleng hindi pagkakaunawaan lamang ngunit kung higit sa tatlo ang iyong nakakaalitan ay maaaring ikaw na ang may problema.  Bakit ka nagkakaron ng usapin sa sariling kamag-anak, mga kapit-bahay, kasamahan sa tabaho o kahit ng dating kaibigan kung ang ugali mo ay maaari pa namang tiisin kahit papaano?  Isang tanong lang, bakit ka nagkakaroon ng maraming kaaway kung mabuti kang makipagkapwa-tao?

Nakalulungkot tanggapin na mahirap itong malaman ng ibang tao dahil hindi naman talaga natin makikilala ang isang tao hanggang hindi natin nakakasama nang madalas.  Ngunit duon sa mga asawa, kapamilya,  kaibigan at mga kasakasama, ang totoo ay nalalaman naman ang mga ito ngunit hinahayaan na lamang dahil sa turingan nilang magkakapamilya o magkakasama kaya wala ni isa ang nagsasabi ng kanyang masamang ugali.   Ngunit paano iyung ibang mga tao na hindi ito niya nakakasama nang madalas?  Maaaring sabihin niya na natural lamang na pakisamahan niya nang mabuti ang mga laging nasa paligid niya dahil sila ang nagpapakita ng mabuti sa kanya.  Ngunit anung klase ng pagkamabait ang mayroon ka kung sa mga taong mababait lamang sa iyo ikaw magpapakabait?  Mas mabuting gawin mo ang iyong kabaitan sa mga hindi mo nakakasama dahil ang totoong mabuting tao ay pinakikisamahan pa rin ng tama kahit ang mga hindi niya kaibigan at kasa-kasama.

Nakakaawa ang ganitong mga tao dahil hindi sila magbabago, dahil ang buong akala nila ay mabait na sila, dahil walang nagsasabi sa kanila – ito ang isang malaking maling akala.  Dito nararapat ng maki-alam ang mga tao na nakapaligid sa kanila, na sa halip na hinahayaan lamang sila at pagkaminsa’y mistulang ginagatungan pa kapag pinagkakatuwaan ang kanilang mga sinasabi at ginagawa, na lalong mas nagpapatigas, nagpapatibay at nagpapatalas ng kanilang sungay.  May responsibilidad at kasalanan ang mga taong nakapaligid dahil bahagi sila ng pagiging masamang ugali ng tao na kanilang hinayaang maging masama.  Kung hindi mo kayang sawahatin, kaysa sa kunsintihin ay mas mabuting layuan na lamang ang mga taong ganito upang maramdaman nila ang kanilang kamalian.  Dahil hanggang mayroong tumatangkilik sa kanilang ugali ay magpapatuloy sila sa kanilang gawain.  Kung maraming beses na napapansin ko ang hindi magandang ugali ng isang tao, sa una’y binabalewala ko ang mga iyun sa kadahilanang umaasa akong magbabago.  Ngunit kapag hindi ko na nakitaan ng posibilidad ng pagbabago, umaalis na lang ako kaysa sa nagkakasala ako sa pag-iisip nang hindi maganda sa mga nakikita at naririnig ko.

Ni Alex V. Villamayor

August 3, 2015

PANGWAKAS NA PANANALITA (Linggo ng Wika)

Ang sumusunod na artikulo ay mula sa isang maikling talumpati ng isang mag-aaral sa elementarya para sa Linggo ng Wika.

Sa ating mahal na Punong-Guro, mga butihing guro at tagapayo, at sa aking mga kapwa mag-aaral, isang maalab na pagbati po ng magandang umaga sa inyong lahat. 

Sa mga nakita at narinig natin sa palatuntunang ito, marahil ay maitatanong natin sa ating mga sarili kung ano nga ba ang kabuluhan ng pagkakaroon ng Pambansang Wika.  Ano nga ba ang maitutulong nito sa ating buhay bilang isang Pilipino?  Ang palatuntunanang ito ay ginagawa upang bigyang halaga ang pagkakaroon ng wikang pambansa.

Alam natin na ang bansang Pilipinas ay isang arkipelago na mayroong pitong libo isang daan at pitong (7,107) isla.  Mga isla na magkakahiwalay na hinahati ng tatlong malalaking isla – ang Luzon, Visaya at ang Mindanao.

Ang mga isla na ito ay mayroong kanya-kanyang kasaysayan, paniniwala at pananalita.  Bagamat ang lahat ay isang Pilipino ay mayroon tayong mahigit sa walumpung (80) dayalekto ngunit kahit nagkakaiba ang ating mga salita ay mayroong isang salita na nagbubuklod sa atin, nagkakaintindihan tayo – ang wikang Filipino.

Kapag ang isang Pilipino na taga-Mindanao ay nagpunta sa Maynila, hindi magiging sagabal ang kanyang lenguwahe dahil tayong mga Pilipino, kahit saan man naroon ay maaari tayong mag-usap at magkaintindihan dahil sa ating pambansang wika.

Dito tayo nagkakaisa at nagkakaunawaan na mahalagang bagay upang tayo ay umunlad.  Kailangan nating magkaintindihan tungo sa iisang adhikain – ang umunlad.  Bilang isang bansa ay mahalaga na magkaroon tayo ng isang wika na siyang mag-uugnay at magsisilbing bigkis sa ating lahat. 

Magkakaiba man tayo sa maraming bagay ay nauunawaan naman natin ang isat-isa dahil naipapahayag natin ang ating nararamdaman sa ating kapwa.  Sa pagkakaunawaan na ito ay naipaparating natin ang ating kagustuhan na maging mapayapa ang ating bayan at bansa.  Dahil sa iisang wika na ating pinagkakaintindihan ay nasasabi natin ang nais nating pagbabago para sa pag-unlad.

Mahalaga na magkaintindihan at magkaisa ang bawat isa.  Dahil sa pamamag-itan nito ay maisusulong nating mga Pilipino ang inaasam na pag-unlad at kapayapaan.  Ipagmalaki natin sa buong mundo ang wikang Filipino dahil ang ating wikang Pambansa ay wika ng pambansang kaunlaran.

Maraming salamat po sa inyong lahat.