A THOUGHTFUL EDWIN

On his midlife period, the smiles of Edwin reflect his happy and nice springtime.  Whoever he is now, whatever his status, his looks, his contentment and his personality today were owed how he lived his youth.  These are just the results of how passionate and caring he was during his youth.  Looking at him today, you’ll see the happiness he enjoys today because he is not alone.  He earned lot of friends, back from old times in school and town, Edwin is rich in friends.  True, having true friends are real treasure.

In our journey to our life since we were just children, we see, meet and know many different fellow children.  Our pals in neighbourhood and our classmates in our elementary school, those are the times of our infancy and childhood.   From our childhood, we never thought that a friendship is in the making.  We may not know anything and no idea what is happening then that maybe a true friendship is starting to shape.   As kid, we fought, fooled, shouted and took advantage them until we realized they did not leave us and we need them.  But there are others who have to apart their ways out of time and call of fate.  When we stepped in to our teenage years, as somewhat quite matured during high school we had a clearer feeling about friendship to seek.  We easily connected to those who are in the same interests as we.  It can be good or bad, can be weird or creepy but they can be okay for they’ll be part of our learning process. Many have risked to explore and to found their buddies.  Lucky are those who found friendship in early age for they might have a treasured friendship until they go older and get aged.  And Edwin is one of those.  His eyes shall may have any signs of age but every smiles on his eyes remain genuine that cannot pay with any amount.  How lucky is he to have those same old long time friends while growing till now, the longer they stay as friends, the more reasons to celebrate their good times and years.

I was looking a photo album of my friends, there were pictures that caught my attention and called my interest to stare each.  While looking those throwback pictures during their teenage years, their old pictures tell stories and show their rich shared moments.   And I can’t help but to suddenly feel sadness and guilt about me for I never had same moments.  While staring those pictures, I learned the importance of building friends for time will come you will learn how good you are when you were not dumped by friends.  Like Edwin, he is candid and showy to his friends makes good foundation in friendship.  His thoughtful gestures even in embracing those girl friends earned him a buddy to love.  He and his buddies may did some outrageous but sometimes in these crazy little things we learn the meaning of life and our existence that give us the wisdom in life.  The typical group of friends who used to laugh thru good times and bad times, took all night in the street, and gone wild and weird for fun’s sake.  Those smiles, those great moments, those fun and silliness captured in the pictures are really moment in times that you cannot go back any longer but you can still feel the exact feeling on those days.  Edwin might have faults, he might have played the feelings of girls, or maybe hides a dark side, but because he was a thoughtful friend for sure and true to himself he found the happiness.   Through these and maybe one of these he may have exceptional experiences.  Nevertheless, those experiences are unparallel, irreplaceable, and invaluable memories that are fortunate to achieve. 

And I suddenly thought that I would have also done the same.  Then I realized how boring my early life was.  I have lived my life censored.  If I only knew I will feel regret and sadness for not doing anything, I wish I should have done escapades, stupidity and childish things.  I think I supposed to experience those prank and misbehaviour, explore the meaning and sense of life, and did what I really wanted to do.  I need them, now that I feel I am not really fully grown.  Sometimes it is okay to do mistake because it is in there you will know what you really want and your real calling.  In the near future I will become elder but I feel incomplete.  When you are running out of time you will not able to do what you want to make up because time is the worst enemy of getting older.  I wish I could turn back the times.  If I could live my life all over again, I will do the life lived by Edwin who socialized in many to gain friends and made the most out of their youth-life.

By Alex V. Villamayor

February 24, 2016

ANG PAHAYAG NI MANNY

Mula sa isang maiksing pahayag ng isang kilalang tao ay nagkagulo at nagkasanga-sanga na ang mga pangyayari – si Manny Pacquiao at ang kanyang opinyon tungkol sa pagpapakasal ng magkaparehong kasarian.  Maraming tao pa ang nasangkot sa usapin at marami pang mga kwento ang nahalungkat.  Habang mayroong mga sumasali sa usapin at nagbibigay ng opinyon ay lalo lang magiging masalimuot at tatagal ang usapin dahil bawat isang reaksiyon ng isang nagsalita ay mayroong isa o mahigit pa ang sasalungat, magtatanggol at ipaglalaban ang kinontra at ipinagtanggol.  Ang puno’t dulo lang naman ng usapin na ito ay ang pagsasabi na hindi tama ang pagpapakasal ng magkatulad na kasarian at ang pinaka-ugat ng pagkakamali ay ang paghahambing ng tao sa mga hayop.  Pero dahil sa pagsali ng iba pang mga personalidad ay marami pang ibat-ibang isyu ang nahalungkat, nabuksan at pinagtalunan pati na ang pagkatao ng mga personalidad na sangkot sa usapin.  Sa pagsali ng iba pang mga karakter ay marami pa ang idinamay kahit ang pamilya, mga kaibigan at trabaho ng isat-isa.  Nakakalungkot dahil ganito ba talaga ang tao?

Sa usaping sinimulan ni Manny ay marami ang sumagot, bumatikos, pumuna at may mga sumang-ayon din ngunit marami sa mga kanila ang walang direktang punto o walang kaugnayan sa talagang usapin.  Ang pagsasama ng magkatulad na kasarian lang ang paksa ngunit may mga sumagot tulad ng huwad na pangangaral, pagsasabing ang pagiging ikatlong kasarian ay abnormal at isang sumpa, ang pagkukumpara ng usapin sa mga karumal-dumal na krimen, pagsasabing mas maraming masasamang tao na totoong lalaki at babae, ang pagsiping sa mga bayaran kumpara sa mga LGBT, pulitika, pakikiapid, pagpatay, pagnanakaw, kayamanan,ang kredibilidad ng mga banal na aklat, at ang saloobin ng Santo Papa.  Si Manny ay hindi laban sa mga nasa ikatlong kasarian kundi hindi lang siya sumasang-ayon sa kasal ng magkatulad na kasarian.  Nagkamali lang siya nang ikumpara niya ang mga nasa ikatlong kasarian sa mga hayop na siyang ikinagalit ng iba pang mga kilalang personalidad.  Ngunit kung lalawakan lang natin ang ating isip ay mauunawaan natin na ang ibig lang niyang sabihin ay mas masahol pa sa hayop kung magsasama ang mga nasa magkaparehong kasarian.  At sinabi pa niya na hindi niya hinuhusgahan ang mga tao kundi iyung pagsasama lamang nila.  Ramdam ko ang ipinaglalaban ng LGBT na makakamit kung sila ay legal na maikakasal tulad ng pagkakaroon ng karapatan na mag-ampon ng bata, karapatan sa kanilang naipong kayamanan habang magkasama, iksemsyon sa buwis, benepisyo sa gobyerno o institusyon at iba pa.  Kung tutuusin ay hindi na naman nila kailangan ang basbas ng relihiyon dahil ang mga ipinaglalabang ito ay mga karapatang sibil ngunit mismong sa mga mambabatas ay mayroong hindi nakikita ang pangangailangan ng pagpapakasal ng magkasarian. Ang layunin ng pagpapakasal ay pag-isahin ang dalawang nagmamahalan upang magparami.  Kung ang intensiyon lamang ay upang magparami o maging isa ay sana’y hindi na nagkaroon ng kasal at sa halip ay kasamahin na lamang ang sino mang magustuhan natin sa una, ikalawa, ikatlo o higit pang pagkakataon kahit ngayon, mamaya at bukas.  Walang mali sa paniniwala ni Manny ngunit sa palagay ko ay mali ang pagpili niya ng mga salitang ginamit.  Hindi makatarungan kahit kangino ang maikumpara sa hayop.  Ito ay pambabastos, nakakasakit at pagyurak sa dignidad ng isang tao.  Mahirap kalabanin ang relihiyon ngunit hindi maganda at hindi tama na gamitin ito upang makapanakit ka ng kapwa.

Sa kaganapang ito ay makikita natin kung ano talaga ang tao sa kanilang mga ikinilos at sinabi.  Ang mga tao ay likas na mapanghusga, mapanglibak at mga hindi magpapatalo.  Bawat isa ay gustong siya ang tanghaling may pinapatamang nalalaman, may pinakamagandang sinabi, at ayaw tumanggap ng pagkakamali.  Mayroong mali na ang paniniwala ay sige pa rin sa kapipilit ng opinyon at mayroong masyadong matayog at masakit magbitaw ng mga salita.  Sa mga pangit at mahahalay na salita na ipunukol ng mga tao, sino ngayon ang parang mas masahol pa nga sa mga hayop.  Ang tao ay naturingang may puso, isip, kunsensiya at siyang pinakamataas ng uri ng hayop sa mundo ngunit bakit hindi makayang magpatawad.  Sana ay nagkaroon ng respeto ang bawat isa sa kanyang kapwa.  Kung sana ang bawat nakisali at nagbigay ng kuro-kuro sa usapin ay hindi bumitaw sa pinaka puno’t dulo, hindi lalala ang usapin na ito.  Hindi kasalanan ang mapabilang sa ikatlong-kasarian.  Ang pagkatao nila ay hindi nila pinili, para silang mga ipinanganak na pangkaliwang-kamay (kaliwete) na wala silang magawa kundi gawin ito.  Dahil kung makakapili lang sana ay hindi nila gugustuhin ang habang-buhay na pagkutya at kalungkutan.  Walang mali sa pagiging bakla at lesbiyana bilang isang pagkatao, ang mali sa pagiging sila ay ang pamumuhay o estilo ng buhay nila na hindi ginagawa ng totoong lalaki at babae.

Ang usapin sa pagkatao ng nasa ikatlong kasarian ay sensitibo.  Ang LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender) ang tumatayong ulo ng mga nasa kasariang ito na sa matagal nang panahon ay ipinaglalaban na tapusin na ang diskriminasyon laban sa ikatlong kasarian at mabigyan ng mga nararapat na karapatan para sa mga LGBT.  Napakahirap ng pakikipaglabang ito dahil ang unang-unang hadlang sa pakikipaglabang ito ay ang relihiyon.  Nakakalungkot na walang relihiyon sa mundong ito ang nagsasabing tama ang mga ipinaglalaban ng LGBT.  Ang pinakamalaking punto ng relihiyon ay ang sinabing ang lalaki ay para sa babae lamang at ang paulit-ulit na sinasabi ng mga relihiyoso ay dalawa lamang ang nilikha ng Diyos – ang lalaki at babae.  Dahil hayag na kaalaman naman na kasalungat ng relihiyon ang mga Ateista, asahan ng kakampi ng mga LGBT ang suporta ng mga hindi naniniwala sa Diyos.  At dahil ang usaping ito ay kadikit ng relihiyon, nariyan lang ang mga walang pananampalataya na alam naman natin at asahan na nating kokontra.  Ngunit sa akin naman, kung pinili natin na mabuhay nang matuwid at kapag namatay tayo ay nalaman natin na wala naman pala talagang Diyos, mabuti kung ganun dahil nabuhay tayo ng maayos at mabuti.  Ngunit sa kabilang banda kung mayroon naman palang Diyos ay anu pa ba kundi kabayaran ang naghihintay sa atin.

Ni Alex V. Villamayor

February 19, 2016

#MannyPacquiao, #SameSexMarriage, #ViceGanda

TAKING FOR GRANTED

Sometimes, there are people who come in to our life that we easily feel comfortable with and we found them positive.  That even in your first chance you met them, there is instant bonding that hold in you.  This happens in couples and even in friends in any gender.  But how you feel if someone you loved to be your friend is taking you for granted?  That is hurting.  When you have friend, and if it is a true friendship, you always think the well-being of each other because friendship is a two-way and a give and take relationship.  It is understanding each other.  When someone is in need, the other one comes to rescue and support.  And in return, it is the same thing when the other one is in need.

Sometimes you can make yourself fool for someone to protect your friendship, or to build if it is new friendship.  When you did what would make someone happy, when you are giving the needs, helping out the problems, rescuing in times of trouble and yet you do not feel contented and appreciated, you will feel something is missing and wrong.  It is sad to say and accept that some people can be coined “user friendly” especially when you happened to observe one of your friends and you realized you were used only.  It is hurtful because you care for your friend that you don’t want to hurt them but you will feel and you will even know that your friend is the kind of opportunist.  You can be in denial because it is your friendship, a friendship that you care will put into waste.  You don’t want it to happen as much as possible but when the time you have enough, you will not regret in this kind of friendship.

Some people are just capitalizing their strength to gain, abuse and take advantage others’ weaknesses be it colleague, partner, friend or even lover.  There are people who can stand to abuse the kindness of other people because they know they cannot be rejected.  Others are using their looks when they knew someone is attracted in their strong pleasing looks, or if someone believes on them, incapable without them, and these weaknesses will be used for their benefits.  They abuse the kindness while they know they cannot be able to withstand.  This is so unfair, it is pity when there is in pain, losing, and aggrieved.  Any relationship, be it friendship, romance, career or social is always nice and proper to be fair and square.

You spread love, you want to make your friends happy, and you just love pleasing others by making good but sadly they are people who are not worth and deserved your efforts.  When you helped genuine you will feel the return.  When you cannot feel the contentment after what you did, then that is not love.  Maybe it is just a fancy feeling towards a friend or someone you thought your other half.  This is not the real friendship, not right relationship, not pure love.  Because love is a good feeling you give to someone.  You don’t want to hurt your children, parents, partner, your brother and sister.  Instead you want to make them happy all the time.  You want to give nothing but only the best for that one you love.  Not for you, but you just want to do it for them and you feel happy for that – that is love, an unconditional love.  If everyone will be fair, we can build a friendly place to live in.  Avoid being called user friendly.  In our everyday life let us make friends not adversaries.  Mark Zuckerberg said during the FaceBook’s celebration of Friends Day “the everyday acts of friendship that make our relationships matter. Friendship adds meaning to our lives and is a force that moves the world”.

By Alex V. Villamayor

February 16, 2016

WHAT IS LOVE?

Love is blind, it justifies the unreasonable.

It can be wrong but it feels right for people.

For our heart sees that eyes can’t see at all.

Love is giving, it should be two-way feeling.

When the two people are giving something,

it then goes to the point of giving and taking.

Love is helping, it is rescuing one lost soul.

Seeing that someone back to stand on own

to spread greatness and greatest love to all.

Love is caring, we care about the welfare

of that someone to become good and better.

It’s taking care our love ones like no other.

Love is just right, it has to be fair and just.

If in times you’ve to do even if it can hurt.

True love is doing what supposed is right.

Love is a good feeling you give to someone,

you want to make them happy all the time.

And you feel happy, that is a pure love one.

What is Love?

By Alex Villamayor

February 14, 2016