AN ARTICLE

My article about health published in our company newsletter in 2009.

SAYING NO FOR YOUR SAKE

In my journey to health, sometimes saying no to given offers from friends to have foods or join in a food trip is difficult to refuse.  It is difficult not because of I am craving for foods and controlling but it is the guilt of disregarding the spirit of cooperation and friendship and ignoring the effort they made.

But I have to stand my affirmation.  I may look killjoy but I have to assume that people will understand me.  Sometimes I feel ashamed for it seems I’m becoming overacting and finicky.  But I have to say no, otherwise I know that I infringed my own self.

The very reason why I am saying no to their calls is because of the kinds of food itself.  I am trying to get rid-off fats, salt and sweet if I can avoid them as much as possible.  I see their foods every morning, in birthday celebrations, luncheon, restaurants, hotel, send-off, thanksgiving and during payday.   Seeing them one after another in every couple of the week is not what it called occasionally.  I am not wondering to hear when one cries when he feels sorry about his health, it is you are what you eat.

Not lifting own chair and blowing own horn but I do not see myself in the clinic as often as what others do the fact that they are much younger than me.  I am medically fit that I enjoy more than those who are not taking extra careful about their health.  I am not taking vitamins and food supplement and I am not maintaining medicines to watch my blood pressure, sugar and weight, though I need to be humble for I do not know if soon there will be illness that is not cause from my carefulness.   Who know, no one ever knows.

I am known cautious when it comes to food and lifestyle.  In encouraging others and as an artist by heart, I am posting in my blog some write-ups, videos and pictures that I believe can help.  I am doing cuisine and in fairness, the foods that I post are not unhealthy.  Often, they are veggies and if meat I choose lean meat as chicken breast that sautéed in coconut or olive oil.  Very seldom I use red meat.

The nice thing about following honest diet is that when you missed it one time or two, you will not feel guilty for you know you can easily get back on your feet.  A day or two has no dramatic effect for those who are doing sincere diet.  That is why once in a while (rarely) I pumper myself to treat in a cozy restaurant to say that I am not boring and killjoy.  Healthy foods is not boring anyway, you just have to be creative.

In your journey to heath, accompanied is the sacrifice that may test your social life.  If your group is not doing the same caution you do, your friendship will really get affected.  Then it is your choice.  For the sake of yourself, you have to make firm decision, determination and discipline.  If you don’t have the willpower, you are weak then and you’ll easily be caught in the flow of the currents and end up failed in your journey to health.

By Alex V. Villamayor

December 19, 2014

SIMBANG GABI

Isa sa memorableng ala-ala ng aking kabataan ay ang simbang gabi na sa kalungkutan ay hindi ko nabubuo ang siyam na araw.  Ang ate ko ang siyang pursigido na mabuo ang siyam na araw, may mga taon pa nga na nabubuo niya iyon.  Alas-tres pa lang ng madaling araw ay may umiikot ng banda ng musiko sa bawat pangunahing kalsada sa amin.  Nililibot nila ang buong bayan upang mangising, sino ba naman ang hindi magigising sa mga oras na iyon na sa katahimikan ng madaling araw ay napakalakas sa tenga ang tunog ng banda ng musiko.  Kaya kahit pupungas-pungas pa, kailangan ng bumangon, magmumog, maghilamos, magkape at mag-bihis upang magsimba.  Paglabas pa lamang ng aming bahay ay ramdam na agad ang malamig na simoy ng hanging pang-Disyembre.  Kailangan na may soot kang pranela o pang-ginaw kung tawagin sa amin.  Naaala-ala ko pa ang nag-iisa kong panginaw na isusuot ko taon-taon.  Sa simbang gabi ay nakikita ang tatlong malalaking parol na mas kilala sa tinatawag na Naglalakad na Parol na nagsisilbing isang tatak-Angono.  Ang mga parol na ito na nakatakdang maglakad sa gabi ng bisperas ng Pasko na naging palaisipan sa akin kung paano nga ba sila naglalakad.   Sa panahon na ito, ito ang mga bagay na masarap balikan at hinahanaphanap na diwa ng totoong Pasko.

Totoo naman na habang nakaupo sa loob ng simbahan habang naghihintay sa pagsisimula ng misa ay talagang nakakaantok.  Panay ang hikab ko nuon pero kailangang labanan ko ang antok dahil kapag nagsimula na ang misa at ang namuno ng banal na misa ay ang pari na kilala sa amin na istrikto.  Baka makita niya ako na natutulog ay letra por letra na magsesermon talaga siya sa mga natutulog.  Ngunit kapag umawit na ng mga awiting pamasko sa bahagi na nag-aalay at nangungumunyon na ay gising na gising na ako dahil sa masayang kumpas ng mga pamaskong kanta, bukod pa sa alam ko ang mga letra ng mga kanta.  Hanggang matapos ang banal na misa, sa labas ng simbahan ay may mga paninda na pinakatinatangkilik sa lahat ang puto-bumbong.  Tuwing simbang-gabi lang yata kami nuon nakakakain nito dahil nung mga araw na iyun ay sa ganung okasyon lamang may nagtitinda ng puto-bumbong.  At kaparehas ng puto-bumbong ay ang mainit na tsaa na mula sa pinatuyong dahon.  Masarap ang tsaa mula sa pinatuyong dahon kaysa sa naiinom natin ngayon na nakabalot sa maliit na tela.

May paninda din na bibingka ngunit mas naging popular para sa amin ang puto-bumbong.  Isang tradisyional na kakanin ang puto-bumbong dahil sa nakaugalian itong kainin tuwing sa panahon ng kapaskuhan.  Sa napakaganda nitong kulay na ubi, minsan ay rosas ay napakasarap kainin ang umuusok na puto na nilagyan ng mantikilya at binudburan ng kinudkod na niyog.  Ito ay isang kakanin na gawa sa giniling na malagkit na bigas,  Tinawag itong puto-bumbong dahil ito ay puto na niluto sa loob ng maliit na bumbong ng kawayan.  Kahit matagal ang paghihintay sa pagbili dahil sa dami ng mga mamimili ay nakakalibang naman panorin ang pagluluto nito.  Mula sa pagsisilid ng giniling na bigay sa bumbon na ang dulo ay sandaling pinapainitan pa sa mainit na singaw ng tubig mula sa lutuan at isasaksak sa nakahulmang lutuan nito hanggang sa itinataktak sa dahon ng saging.  Pagkatapos ay papahiran ng mantikilya at saka bubudburan ng niyog na may kahalong asukal, at saka babalutin sa dahon ng saging – totoong nakakagutom panoorin.

Mula sa pag-gising ng maaga sa loob ng siyam na araw at ang pakikipaglaban sa antok sa madaling araw ay sakripisyo talaga ang buuin ang simbang gabi.  Mabuti na lamang at mayroong puto-bumbong na siyang nagpapawi ng mga ito at magsisimula ng isang magandang umaga.

Alex V. Villamayor

December 16, 2014

MY AMERICAN DREAM

Back when I was child until mid-twenty, I always wanted to go, work and live in America.  Like any other kids in neighborhood and school trying to be eloquent in English language to pursue the dream of going to America, I tried it but found difficult.  But what drove further my interest to go to land of opportunities was my ever fascination in those long-pointed nose, tall, blonde white men and women, the ample apple trees, and the desire to see and touch the snow that only in books, pictures, posters and Christmas cards I see.I want to experience white Christmas, even do an apple-picking job, or feel the cold of winter and the scent of falling leaves during autumn season, the summer and spring, befriend Americans and bring them home for a visit to show how Philippines is.  Seems everything is just childish and trivial things.

It’s the land of milk and honey, for so many opportunities to make a lot of money in the land. Believing that going there will give me all contentment I need –like raising a family of my own, blooming career, receiving hefty salary, sending money to sustain and build the dream house back home in the Philippines that I will soon home on my retiring plan.  That is mean to say, it will make me the best that I could be if I will be in the place that I am calling my greatest American dream.And it was not just childhood’s innocence anymore when I was already at the age of building career in our small town yet still I am envisioning myself of going to America to migrate as my ultimate and greatest dream.  I was even getting a bit envied from distant cousins, childhood friends and acquaintances who were able petitioned by their parents, aunties, uncles and grannies.

Not until I reached my age of 30’s, my earnest desire to migrate to the home of the Yankees had gradually subsided until dream no more for this land of opportunities.  Who doesn't want to go to every Tom, Dick, and Harry’s dream place?  Indeed I still want anyway but this time it’s not for a career but instead just as sojourn.  I’d realized that I can’t stay there for a long period of time.  I’d just realized that there are things that I don’t feel in western life.  The reality is that when you grow older and get matured, you’ll realize so many childhood things in your life that you will not really need later.  While growing up, you will learn what you really want for yourself.  I don’t want to settle in a fast-phase state of the art place, modernized behavior and points of view.  The biggest influence is my simplicity in life, I just woke up that I cannot barter the satisfaction of having life to be simple and live it.

As an enthusiast of experiencing going to different scenic places, I want to check the land of green pasture for a visit or tour only to experience how is to be in the other side of the earth.  There are no slightest bits and pieces of bitterness over the heard someone, colleagues and neighbours who made it to pass and grant their visa to United States of America.  There is nothing to do with difficulty to get there, neither its mounting cost of living, nor merely sour-grapping if this so called my greatest American dream did not flourish.  The fact that I did not even apply to obtain the visa and eventually denied, I don’t feel sour-grapping.  It is purely part of knowing and setting your priorities while you are getting old.  Though I may not able to see America all my life, it will be fine with me and I am still be pleased to whatever places I may have seen.  Maybe I can make it there but if how and when that is I am uncertain now but not bothered.

By Alex V. Villamayor

November 25, 2014

MAKING A DIFFERENCE

In our everyday life, most of us are too occupied with many and different things.  We deal with the demand of our job: the architects and engineers design the buildings and bridges, the physicians attend the medical needs of the patients, journalists deliver the news, professors shape the young mind of students to become better and good citizens, the crews provide the services, and so on so forth.  And in our continuing deal with the call of our stressful busy works every day, we can still include to hone our craft for our advancement and achieve that attractive pay.  We are making ourselves better and work even harder not just to earn a living with hefty sum but also to secure a better future for our family and ourselves.

While we fill ourselves with career opportunities, we explore our horizon in other fields to have the best of social being like networking of friends and appreciating new gadgets.  We are practically doing all the best for ourselves to ensure our welfare and comforts – that is given.  But behind of all of these, once in a while it is still nice to take a look the other people who are less privilege and who are unable to do what we are into.  For the longer time we may always planning something for special occasions in our life, why don’t we plan in rare chance like today to touch other’s life and heart.  Why not for a while we make a change, different than usual and make ourselves express our other side’s aptitude of compassion.   Let us extend our hands to help the needy and deprived as giving back to all what we own.

Amidst of all these success and self-strengthening, we have all the chance to do something good to make a difference.  Let us take the chance in doing something that will give essence in our existence, feel our worthwhile and find our purpose.  For sure there are people out there who have already done this in any ordinary day but doing this in our important day is something to celebrate.  While for those who are too busy for themselves, may it serve an encouragement to stand and say it’s time to set aside ourselves and unleash the inner and natural kindness in our heart by doing charity.  It doesn’t necessary if expensive and grandiose, it doesn’t count in the numbers anyway but it is in the thought that really counts.  A simple help can build esteem and confidence, a small act can send a big message of kindness.

Let us help while we have the chance to do.  As the old and trite saying that goes it is better to give than to receive, it is really feeling blessed that we can able to give than needing someone to help us.  Let us feel thankful if we can help.  Given the chance just for today, let us disown some mundane things and do a unique thanksgiving.  It is not always thru serving foods on the table to give our thanks, sometimes we can express our thanksgiving by means of writing inspirational story to commemorate the occasion.  Depends on your interest, you can use your personality to give your thanks and help in your own little, humble and sincere way.  When you made someone’s world better than when you found him, or something that different from before, either by an improved idea, sweet poem, or a rescued soul – that is so big to thank, so noble act and so commendable.

By Alex V. Villamayor

November 30, 2014

GIVING THANKS

In our childhood lesson, we say thank you in every good thing we received, no matter how simple, huge, how often or rare, all of them must treat equally appreciated.  It doesn’t matter on how you say thank you.  Some say it laud that can be obvious and showy while others may simply quiet and out of fanfare.  It can be done thru serving foods, celebrations, thru gift-giving, anonymous donations or prayers whichever you desire is fine as long as it is sincere from the heart you are indeed good.This lesson from childhood must put into heart that uttering saying thank you should not become catchphrase that automatically utter when we receive something.  Until in a long run it will become not for altruism why we say thank you but for the gratification we feel.  Learn to say thank you as what it meant to be and in return you will feel expressing your appreciation in another way.  That is, it is not just take and receive, not just thru words and giving materials things as token of appreciation but it is in the sincere thanks uttered and true intention of giving thanksgiving.

In our existence, we receive different graces from our schools, company, community, and other groups.  Fortunes knocks in unexpected or most unanticipated times when we win in whatever contest and games we join in or we engaged.  We receive salary increase, gratuity, commissions, job promotion, award or recognition.  We call them blessings as we are happy for what we are having and we want to receive them, some may not prayed for them but still come.  That is what really called blessings.  And as the heckle goes you have to share your blessings, giving thanks despites of all of these is worth to do.  As part of our maturity, it is nice to give thanks aside from the childhood lesson of uttering thank you from what we received is to give thanks through giving to others specially to the less privilege.  Sharing your blessings is so noble, specially sharing it without show of display or grandstanding.  It is so amazing to show your very personality and true intention.  There is nothing wrong if you want to publicize it, if it is honest that can inspire others to do the same.  It can encourage the spirit of sharing and giving of blessings.

There are many different reasons why we give.  Some people are giving to feel the sense of value and satisfaction, or simply we give because we care, while some are giving to give something back.  And some are because they believe in the cause of a charity.Whichever the case, it is best to give without hidden interest as in you just want to have good karma or simply for name popularity. But most of us may not lucky enough to express our thanks thru tangible things.  Many are those who are incapable or just enough to give part of their earnings.  In these cases, we can give our thanks in our own unique ways.In times we’re short too, the least we can do is to give our share through nonfinancial means.  The unmatched sincere prayer for the victims of disaster and natural calamities is indeed the most valuable support to these less fortunate.  You can use the images for sketch, maybe pen for music and poem or any cause of your expression of your interest to thanks the volunteers as appreciation and recognition to their value, worth, greatness and efforts.  During special days like anniversary, we can express our thanksgiving not just through celebration of foods and happiness but even through helping the needy.  And true, it is even more rewarding to feel that your thanksgiving has gone without any anticipated return into needier concerned rather than your self-satisfaction of worldly happiness.

By Alex V. Villamayor

November 30, 2014

STRUGGLES IN HEALTH

For those who are in dire struggle to lose weight, here are some unsolicited and personal advices that I would like to share which I am freely doing because I want to help.  Our body components may not the same but at least it can be applicable to many if not to everyone.

·         Slowly for beginner.  I know it’s difficult to control food intake, so I would advise take your time.  If you’re still craving for meat, you can cook them every weekend.  This is fine, as long as you are doing this on weekend only while during weekdays are healthy foods.  For starter I think it is right because I did this before.  At least it is just two days of eating meat comparing to seven days.  Until you accustomed yourself then you can adjust more until you fully accustomed in eating a week of healthy foods.  And you will just eat sumptuous and colorful foods during special occasions only like Year-end get-together party, holiday seasons and birthdays.

·         Limit yourself.  Basically three meals a day are enough.  In between we add snacks.  The “need to eat” and “desire to eat” are different.  Most of us are just simply love eating, excusing ourselves that when it comes to food we should not cut-spend ourselves.  I disagree to this.  It is not that you are controlling your budget that’s why you are eating less but because this is what you need only.  There are really many excuses when we do not like.  Others say “life is too short, so enjoy life”.  These people, the reason why they are saying these is because they cannot do it, no determination, motivation, discipline and control.

·         You are what you eat.  I always read and heard this in health articles and from health buff which is so right because our looks, internal and external including our wrinkles, itchiness, pimples, weights, heart failure and blood pressure is only reflection of our eating behavior.  For peace of mind, eat the right foods.  Just avoid these three: sweet, salty and fatty, then you are “almost” sure that you are in the right track.

• Sweet: not because your both parents are diabetic you will not get diabetes – very wrong and very old belief.  You have just least chance to have diabetes type-1 but if you will not avoid sweets then you are subject to get diabetes type-2.  Flavored drinks, cakes, cookies, soft drinks, ice cream, pie, coffee with milk or sugar, and even rice – most of us are guilty with these sweets.
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• Salty: junk foods, processed foods, instant foods, dried fish – all of these are salty and full of preservatives and saturated fats.  That is why it is called junk foods because you do not get benefits.  Frankfurter, meat loaf, luncheon meat – they are all salty but we don’t realize it because they are delicious.  Instant foods have lots of preservatives and they are instant because they are not natural.  If they are artificial then they don’t have nutrients.
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• Fats:  all fried foods, regardless if fish or vegetables add cholesterol if cooked in frying.  Avoid frying as much as possible and instead use grill.  Avoid sautéing and instead use boiling and steaming.  If cooking in oil is inevitable, then use olive oil or coconut oil.

The reason of others is saying we need sweet, salt and fats in our body – yes that is correct but not in these unhealthy foods.  If you are after the sweet, salt and fats – you can get them from fruits, vegetables, low-fat milk, wheat, and brown bread.  Avoid pork, beef, organs, and fishes under red meat and instead choose chicken especially chicken breast.  If you don’t like chicken breast, remove the skin when cooking.

Skeptic says all of us will die whether we eat unhealthy or healthy foods and nobody wants to live in this earth for hundred years.  Absolutely they are right, but we are doing this not to live longer but to get rid of sickness and it is better to die gracefully rather than suffered.

Alex V. Villamayor

November 8, 2014

Disclaimer:  The entire content of this article is for sharing of knowledge and information purposes only.  It is not intended to replace the qualified health care professional and all information provided here are NOT substitutes for a medication.  Consult a medical doctor before engaging in any type of physical activity or a radical change in diet.

CHILDREN IN NEED

One universal issue that can easily break my heart is the children’s undesirable condition.  Many children that are not only those in our sights but from other places have caught up in unpleasant circumstances.  There are tens of thousands of children around the world who were plunged in bitter fate and we may never have the chance to see them but we’re not deaf to be heard of them.  Many children are not lucky enough to enjoy their times as what children should suppose to do.  Some of them are victims of circumstances, exploitation, and cruelty of time, destiny and the elder people themselves.  Some of them have to deal so early the challenges of life.  And these children have no choice but to embrace the challenges they are facing.  They do not deserve to go what they are going through.

When we look around and open our eyes wide, we will see these children that were deprived the opportunity to enjoy their childhood.  There are the street children, the out of school youth, the abandoned and homeless or even the orphan, and the child labour.  Every day there are children who were abused, stripped off their rights as children and as human.  We see them begging for foods and loose change, striving to work heavy, and in some instances doing prostitution.  These children were oppressed to live young, that they too young yet look old. With all these things surmounting to the children, it is the adults’ responsibility to draw them away from sufferings and assume the custody of their welfare.  It is saddening to see child abuse all over our world.  Child abuse happens in many forms.  Every day they are experiencing physical, moral, verbal and emotional sufferings.  Sometimes we ourselves are unintentionally or unconsciously abusing them.  A flesh of their own flesh, they are excusing themselves imposing an excessive corporal discipline to their children as parenthood.

Children are so weak against the oppressors and predators too.  Bullying them is definitely sign of cowardice for children are weak, tiny and apparently helpless to defend themselves.  Parents oppressing their children should retrench parenthood for there are many out there who are aspiring and more deserving to become parents.  Since children are young, weak and incapable for themselves alone, we should protect, guide and provide them with their needs.  Like us adults and as human being, children have rights too.  They have the right to grow, to play, to rest, and treat fair.  They have also right to have name, family and country to belong.  Because of their physical incapacities, children should be given their foods and medical attention.  They should not be hurt by others, be safe, and not have to work too hard.  Because of their mental insufficiency, children should be sent to school, learn many things, share ideas and be listened.  They have the freedom to learn to be the best they can be.  Because of their emotional needs, they should be given the free will to choose friends, speak own language, and have privacy.

I have soft spot with children because they too are hesitant to speak what they want and cannot able to resist because of weaknesses.  As it is said eyes is the window of our soul, I see the lot of sufferings and emotions when I am staring to these battled children’s weary eyes.  I feel their sufferings from what painful they’re undergoing when I talk to their hurt.  If I have enough capacity, if I have the authority, or if I have magic spell, I want to build a city or maybe just a roof for these children.  But since I am not, the least that I can do now is to give whatever I can and on my own way.  We are all children of God.  We should not prohibit anyone to enjoy the life as we enjoy it.

By Alex V. Villamayor

November 8, 2014

DISLIKING OVER FUN

Right now I am in a point where my interest in social fun is fading.  Not sure if it is seclusion but I am certain that I am more interested in family and personal fun.  It is just that I am no longer interested in much pleasure, lots of fun, entertainment and trivial worldliness. I feel I don’t need superfluous fun, fulsomeness habits and materialistic merriments for they are just mere redundancies.  I have indulged myself enough.   And I think I have to lose some spree, and instead I need to do something different but relevant.

It’s about time for me to disown some worldly things so I will give up old same usual mundane things that I have did for the past several years in my life.  In a straightforward statement, I am losing interest in worldliness.  Celebration and thanksgiving thru merriment like parties of foods, drinks, music, and big occasions are things that I want to drop.  Keep the experiences in memories, choose the important and leave it up the rest.  All these worldliness, I will turn my back with some of them and instead will go for family and personal goals.  I think I need to let them go and I don’t feel my life today is uninteresting or boring in other word while in fact I feel now the better peace of mind.

It comes to a point where I don’t like much fun and I’m not enjoying them.  I believe there’s nothing wrong with this. I think I’m fine with what I am going through.  It’s a matter of priority, if I prefer other things over the things that I have accustomed. People change, if it is here where I’ll be happy and I think it’s not for the worse, then it is certainly not sadness at all as what other people may think.  Nevertheless, rejecting social fun is not relevant to me. I am not bother about this because there is in me that I feel my presence is not necessary anyway and my company is not important at all.  Being a quite person the nature I am, this will not be difficult for me.  If you know the feeling of “you are interrelating but seem you do not exist”, this is where I am coming from.  People are normally searching for their place and I think I found myself in simplicity, serenity, and singleness, I guess this is it.

There is nothing religious faith and influence, let say sanctification with this important and big change in my life.  Neither a bad mood nor just had a bad day because both are nothing.  It is simply a personal choice and self decision in making me good, kind and better.  For I believe life must be simple, I want to make it simpler and easy.  Repugnance and aversion to happiness is what I want to put into practice.  The craze in lavish, materialistic, temporal, and earthen circumstances is only a matter of excessiveness.  I don’t want it and I am not enjoying it now.  At the end of the day, we are all looking for our happiness and I am contented in my feelings today.

Back in my mid-20, I dreamed myself as an old man in an unknown place where I’ve never been.  Few years back, I said that I would like to settle in a quiet, serene and so nature place as my retiring home.  When I set my feet in Palawan for the first time and recently in Batanes, this refreshed my dream anew.  These places are far from noise of modern city, so natural, simple, pure and no calls of fun modern but simple fun.  Under the impression of being amazed, I want to live in a rural place that is so closed to nature and I think that dream is happening now starting with my strong attachment in simplicity.

By Alex V. Villamayor

November 4, 2014

CRAB IN TOMATO SAUCE

In my objective to make a unique cuisine, I have come up with this dish that is one of the favourites menu in a tropical and sea foods restaurants.  This time is about crabs.

This is an easy and fast to prepare dish that can best served in a lunch or dinner.  To prepare, you will need the following:

2 medium or big crabs
1 small glove of garlic
1 medium onion
Onion leaves
Tomato sauce or catsup
Salt and pepper to taste

Here is the procedure:
1. Wash the crabs and put some salt to taste.
2. In medium heat, put the crabs in the casserole and poach until cook, then set aside.
3. In a pan, sauté the minced garlic and onion.
4. Add some water (approximately half cup) and let it simmer for a minute.
5. Add half cup of tomato sauce or catsup, stir well and let it boil for a minute or two.
6. Put a dash of pepper.
7. Put the poached crabs and mix the sauce over the whole crabs.
8. Let is simmer of a minute to permeate the sauce to the crabs.
9. Serve in plate garnished by onion leaves cut into small.

And lastly, just eat right.

By Alex V. Villamayor
November 1, 2014

BEING ODD

People who have physical, mental, spiritual, and genetic features differ from our basic standard measurement of being person are typically labeled odd.  Some may emotionally, sexually and specially unusual and most often than not, their kind of appearances and characteristics is not widely accepted and easily disregarded because of their off-condition on the general public.  What pity, sad and offensive here is being “abnormal” is regarded as stigma, syndrome, ridiculous, burden and weakness in our society.  But what is the accurate measure of a person?

Luis and Belle are one of those coined “abnormal” by the perfect society of people.  Crying foul for treating them outcast, Luis and Belle narrated that they feel this world is quite unfair.  From time to time they need to change and adjust themselves in this one-way world and give-way to what it is said the norms.  Seems this world is for the “normal” and they who are not need to adapt and cooperate.  They have no right to demand, be hurt and complaint because they are not what it is said to be the norms.  Just because of their personality and character, people are so prejudiced, judgmental, harsh and subjective.  For the longer times Luis and Belle are trying to be kind, to please others, and keep on making good impressions for the gratification of people but seem they are burning out.  Sometimes they already feel sick and tired for themselves of making it good, waiting to be appreciated and longing for the respect they deserved.  Thus it can’t help to think but to feel they were just being used. With their personality, they’re tired with the feeling of keep on trying so hard to give the best efforts to make people happy and pleased them and then when they screwed or missed, everything good, nice and right things they made even those done before will be gone and disregarded.

There are nights Luis and Belle want to cry to release the baggage and wish things should have never happened at all.  The world practically offend and irk them for they are not what it is said the norm.  Sometimes when talking to God, Luis and Belle cannot hide their grievance and grudge in everything – in people, the things, fate, time, chances, and even to themselves.  Fed up of understanding that everything has reasons for these pains and sufferings, it is difficult to accept that nothing will be given that we cannot deliver.  Luis and Belle are human and they are getting tired too.  For all the efforts they are doing just to please people, they need some return be it direct or indirect and tangible or not, just to calm down their tiredness.  A little love is what they want, though it is not imposed but to earn and not to ask but to wait, but for those who are so used, it will come to their feelings.  Although they know it is not right to expect, but in reality as a person, we need considerations and consolation.

In summary, the bottom line of all these discrimination, preconception, derogation, and subjective is of being odd.  It has to be two things only, it’s either odd or not.  The only question now is how to say odd or not.  People may differ in looks, attitude, and preference but we are all human that needs place and respect.  In our society, being odd is a stigma that ruins self spirit and a disease that kills the equality.  If everyone will presume each one as human being and not as a person, then respect will come easily to prevail over anyone.  The golden rule must emerge because it embodies the basic respect.  Learn to respect if you want to be respected.

By Alex V. Villamayor

October 31, 20014

SPEAKING IN PUBLIC

I don’t like speaking in front of large audience especially in a stage or in a meeting.  I am not confident.  I feel I’m not a good speaker.  It is not that I don’t know how to speak but it is because I am always concern on success of the overall delivery of my speech which gives me the fear of getting mistake.  And besides, I am not comfortable the way I sound – my pitch, tone and diction.  But since it’s part of the job, I don’t have other recourse but to do it.

Some people have the confidence to speak in spotlight claiming they don’t have nervous.  I admire these people.  But it has to bear in mind that it doesn’t take the confidence only.  It’s not the ability to stand and speak before the audience but it’s more on the quality of communication.   What’s the benefit of courage to speak in public if it will just pull you down with your flaws and weakness?  Be both confident and fluent.

Public speaking is a skill that needs to study to achieve.  Because you will not only speak all throughout on the podium but you will need to build connection, convey the message and impart lesson to your audience.  It is speaking the right way in the right time and at the right place.  When someone declared he can speak in public, probably it’s pure courage and not the art in public speaking.  Few are those who are good in effective impromptu oratory and they usually do not declare it.

In many times I heard presenters, speakers, and even masters of ceremony (Tagalog or English) who are so fond to use blank words like “ahh”, “errrrr”, and “hmmmm”.  It sounds bothering to hear and it turns to be annoying in the long run of speech.  It is tedious and tiresome to guess what words the speaker will utter and besides the speaker looks pathetic when he’s groping words to utter.  It slows the communication.  It’s good to hear spontaneous speech.  Phasing plays importance in speaking and words usage matters too.

To become good speaker you must be a good listener.  Know your audience.  Put yourself in their shoes by talking what you’re audience want.  Listen to the audience as you are speaking.  This will help you to know if you are offending and making bored the people in front of you.  And you must listen also from great people since they are in a much better position to speak their wisdom and experience.  You owe to listen to your audience to give them what they want to hear as this is also what you want to hear from someone who is speaking in front of you.  This is called a demonstration of respect.

Good speaking comes out naturally and at its best when you speak from your heart.  To speak from your heart you must know what you are speaking.  Know your subject, do your assignment, study your material, prepare yourself and with these everything you will say is spontaneous.  Even you are a self-proclaimed confident, do not be complacent to rely on yourself that you’re the person that can speak well anytime without preparing speech.  What happen, you are just brave enough to stand in front while opening your mouth but nonsense like flavored-colored popcorn.

Preparation of your own speech at all times is still important.  Don’t let others to prepare it for you because it is always best to do your own style.  When doing it, it is easier to speak, internalize, feel and deliver the message you want to transmit.  In this way you will have the connection with your audience.  Do not imitate those you are admiring, be on your own and speak yourself.  Do not copy and memorize other’s work.  You do not know the feeling how it was written.

In talking for an assembly, you are building the connection with your listeners by using your skill to get their attention at all times.  You must be powerful to maneuver the whole talk.  Do not overconfident and complacent that you have already stored in your mind your speech.  Prepare yourself, study your speech and the rest will come naturally.  It is not making yourself smart but it is making yourself important.

By Alex V. Villamayor

October 25, 2014