SUNUD-SUNURAN

Nakakatawa, nakakalungkot, nakakaasar, at nakakahinayang isipin na minsan mayroon tayong mga kakilala na nagiging sunod-sunuran sa isang tao.  Yung parang gagawin ang maraming bagay para lamang mapa-lugod nila ito, at anuman ang sabihin ng taong ito ay sinusunod nila.  At ang siste pa nito, madalas nilang pinupuri, pinapangalagaan, at ipinagtatangol ang nasabing tao kahit na alam nilang mayroong hindi tama.  Tinatanggap nila ang kamalian o di kaya ay binibigyan katwiran at pinawawalang sala.  Minsan hindi na natin alam kung ang mga kakilala natin ay marunong bang makahalata, makadama at makaalam o dahil sadyang nagbubulag-bulagan lamang sila na itinatatwa ang kapintasan ng nasabing tao, o pambobola na lamang.

Maaaring ihalintulad sila sa mga alipores, sila yung sunud-sunuran sa kanilang kinikilalang nakatataas.  Para silang mga sa hawak sa leeg na kayang utus-utusan ng kung ano-ano, hawak sa kanilang mga ilong na susunod sa kung saan sila gustong dalhin.  Kung para sa kanila, ang mga ito ay para sa ikasasaya ng nasabing tao, ito’y magandang pagsisikap ng pakikipagkaibigan.  O kung dahil sa intensiyon nilang maging maganda ang kanilang kalagayan ay hindi sila masisisi na isiguro ang kanilang sarili.  Iyun nga lang, nakakawala ng simpatiya, pagpupugay at pagkilala ang mga taong sunud-sunuran.  At lalong nakakawalan ng simpatiya na para maipakita lamang nila ang kanilang katapatan at pagpanig sa isang tao ay kahit sila ay nakikigalit na rin sa kung sino mang kagalit ng nasabing tao.  Kung anong galit nito sa isang bagay, tao at pangyayari ay ganung galit din ang kanilang ipinapakita.  Kung ayaw sa isang bagay ang nasabing tao ay aayaw na rin sila sa bagay na iyon.  Nawawalan na sila ng bait sa kanilang sarili.

Kung ang lahat ng ito ay dahil sa pagkakaibigan, mauunawaan pa rin ito ng ating pandama. Ngunit habang patuloy nila itong ginagawa ay kinukunsinti at pinamimihasa naman nila ang isang tao na ipagpatuloy ang gawi at asal.  Sa patuloy nilang pagpapakita ng mga ikalulugod nito ay hindi nila ito binibigyan ng pagkakataon na magbago.  Hindi nito nalalaman ang mga kamalian niya at mga kapintasan kung kaya mas lalo itong nagiging matayog.  Lalo itong makakaramdam sa sarili na siya ay magaling, lagi niyang ipapalagay na siya ay tama at siyang dapat masunod.  Kung laging tama ang magiging palagay nito sa sarili, mahihirapan itong purihin ang ibang tao, kapag ang gusto nito ang laging masusunod, hindi nito mararamdaman ang pangangailangan ng ibang tao.  Ang lahat ng ito ay dahil sa patuloy na pagsulsol at pagpapamihasa ng kanyang mga alipores.

Maaaring ang dahilan mo ay upang mapanatili at mapalakas ang inyong pagkakaibigan kung kaya ginagawa mo ang mga bagay na makakapagpasaya sa isang tao ay hindi ito maganda at makatarungan.  Subalit kung talagang tunay kang kaibigan ay bibigyan mo ng aral ang iyong kaibigan upang matuto at magbago siya sa ikabubuti nito.  Lumagay lamang tayo sa tama at patas.  At para sa ating sarili, mahalaga pa rin na kung ano ang ating saloobin ang siyang sundin natin maliban na lamang kung mayroon kang ipapahamak sa iyong gagawin.  Magkaroon ka ng paninindigan, huwag kang magpapadikta sa gusto ng ibang tao maliban lamang kung ito ang inyong ugnayan o tawag ng tungkulin.  Tandaan, habang nagiging sunod-sunuran ka ay lalo mo lamang ibinababa ang iyong pagkatao dahil mismong ang sarili mo ay hindi mo na kayang sundin.

Ni Alex V. Villamayor

Agusto 31, 2014

EVERYTHING IS OPPOSED

The world is composed of billion people from different nations with different identities, characters, behaviour, interests, and stratagem.  We practically differ in so many things.  In a single issue, there will be multiple interpretation, understanding, reactions, and acceptance.  Whatever on each own working mind of these billion of people is very difficult to unite and alike.   That is why if world peace is the universal aspiration and hope that prayed for, though is really possible but it will be shoot for the moon as in there is a very slim chance for it to happen.  No matter how noble, great and hard we try, there will always political interventions, spiritual interest and social hindrances to oppose and consider.

From this big world narrowing it down to this specific location, here is come the place where the freedom of expression is enjoying by everyone – the democratic Philippines.  The vibrant democracy that gives life in everyday news that raises agreeable or disagreeable remarks, flooding unsolicited opinions and storm with different violent reactions from the free citizens.  We’ve been waken up every morning by issues, events and news headlining the broadsheets, radio and television.  And for every news bursts in our eyes and yields to our ears, it has of course to expect different reactions, opinion and respective comments.  There are the pros and there the cons, you don’t know any longer if people are just naturally petulant, no contentment and unappeasable.  You cannot really pleased everybody.  There are always oppositions – sceptic, charlatans, leftist, non-believers or just merely antagonism, you can never fade them away.  But sometimes, you will not know what these oppositions want.  You will notice that from the old times of the decades, these are the same people, same face and same militant group marching on the street, shouting their stand, calling for the changes.  Seems anything the government does and whoever sits on the post, they are ready just to oppose be it good or bad.

When it is said the country is improving, the opposition will oppose of course and will ask strong proof.  The day-time track ban, colours and numbers coding schemes were implemented to address the worsening traffic, various group will contradict.  The lawmakers and concerned citizens are pushing the death penalty to suppress the scorching height of heinous crime, the Catholic Church and human rights advocates will block the act.  When the reproductive health was amended to control the mounting population, unwanted pregnancy and abortion, here comes the anti-bill and pro-life file restraining order.  When the cybercrime law was ratified to combat cyber scam, online libel, and bullying, here are the defenders of freedom of speech to protest the anti-democracy bill.  To address the call for uplifting the quality of education, many have protested to stop K-12 program.  When a personality is seen on television and tabloids doing his job, people will say it is publicity and grandstanding.  But if he’s not seen in the scene, he will be accused of neglecting his work and responsibilities.  We want to jail the accused person but if collared, they will say it took long time to capture.  We want changes but some are against.  Even the recognized strongly and accurately written articles, laws and bylaws are when served and mentioned, the cunning antagonist will persistently find the lapses and loop wholes just to oppose if the disapproving situation is taking places in their hands.

Too contradicting and too many hindrances, things are too complicated.  It’s tropical hits tropical scenario, we cannot really move forward from this situation of against both hot and cold if this will always be the case.  Presumably, it’s not all that I may favour some or some may not from all of these mentioned contradicting statements.  But then the thing is, it just shows that people are generally have really no satisfaction and contentment.  In a nutshell, opposing every single thing will put us behind.  It should be a two-way street of give and take for a smooth-sailing endeavour to put it in equation.  For check and balancing, it is good and healthy to have oppositions to prevent the compliant all the times.  But if it is surmounting outs and excessive criticism, it doesn't makes good any longer.  It becomes deterrence, interruption, obstruction and hindrance in the advancement of plans and programs, and then it is becoming redundantly unbearable.

By Alex V. Villamayor

August 19, 2014

SHARING PASSWORDS

In today’s unprecedented hype of internet, it is so clear that many people from all walks of life are keeping eye into social media.  In fact, 30% of world populace is into internet and consume about 7 unbreakable hours a day to keep connected.  Men and women, opulent and deprived, young and old, and single or married are now following this craze.  Because of this phenomenon, tons of heated discussion in cyber space between friends, acquaintance and netizens that ranging from political, religion, social and personal become viral and at risk on disputes.   And here married life is not exemption.

This media hype puts in question today’s modern-time marital relationship of the couples when it comes to trust, honesty, respect and loyalty.  When the relationship of husband and wife goes along with the technology of communication particularly in social networking, it raises the debate now if it is right to know your spouse’s password or nicer to say give your own secret code in different social network accounts.  Is it really proper for married and engaged couples to give their password to their partner?  This question came out amidst of searching remedies in putting off doubt and disputes between partners.

My two-cent, it is not necessary and important if it hounds our sense of right and wrong. There is no such thing as whether the right answer is yes or no because either way will make it or break it.  It doesn’t matter.  Actually, it doesn’t make a real sense when you can easily have two accounts on which you can hide the second and secret account.  What it needs to take is a mutual understanding whether you know or you don’t know your spouse password.  Besides, it is categorically non-sense for those couples who are keeping their mutual trust intact and unshaken.  Knowing your partner’s password is nonsensical since both of you are not doing things that will upset, betray, and offend your better-half.

The main concerned in this “compromising password” is the interest of partner’s security that complacents the peace of mind that knowingly and unknowingly is subsequently guaranteeing that both will act right.  It serves as preventive measure for future utilization to investigate the troubling doubts and conduct loyalty check.  As the modern time dictates, this compromising password becomes prototype that justifies the fad but manifest the deteriorating doubt and loss of trust to your partner.  For some who have worries in memory, this will be acceptable but to know for personal use is totally unfair, wrong and bad.

While it is understood that when a man and a woman have become one, their individual secrets become conjugal and shared secrets, I think it should not really go as a whole.  We still have rights to hold back a little privacy for us to uphold our own self respect and confidence.  I would still want to respect some right to privacy, undisclosed what is that to be confidential and put personal is to personal.  It is not doubting and distrusting your spouse but instead it is enhancing the belief on you both.  What the two should do when they took the vow, they will not do any wrong that will harm their marriage to keep their trust.  Withholding oneself to abuse the trust that has given is sign of matured and responsible individual.  If both of them will enrich in their heart the commitment to be loyal, the threat of modern and high-tech marital test will not succeed.

I have many married friends whose password in social networking accounts is conjugal secret.  Although I don’t want to do the same thing but I am not saying it’s wrong because I merely do not care into this issue.  Having a solid stand whether against or not doesn’t feel me pleased.  For those who share the secret code, I am not to criticize them for my stand in this issue is neither on the pros nor cos.  You can have your spouse password, or you can keep it unexposed because at the end of the day, it is the understanding between the couple that will bond the marital relationship.

Alex V. Villamayor

August 15, 2014

ANG PINAKAPINAPANGARAP

Isang gabing hindi ako makatulog sa kakaisip kung paano ko aaabutin ang aking pangarap ay nagdaan sa aking isip ang ibat-ibang nangyayari at maaaring mangyari.  Sinusubukan ko naman.  Ginawa ko ang maraming bagay para makamit ko ang aking pangarap ngunit sadya nga lang na hindi umaakma sa akin ang mga pagkakataon.  Matagal na akong nagpapakahirap magbanat ng buto para sa matamis na kabayaran.  Maraming beses na akong naghanap ng paraan at tulong na sa pagpupumilit kong mangyari ang aking pangarap ay may mga pagkakataon na naloloko ako.  Ngunit hindi ako nasisiraan ng loob na muli’t muli ay ituloy ang aking pangarap.

Katulad ng karamihan sa atin, isang tahanan na masasabi kong sa akin ang aking pinakapapangarap. Isang pangarap na bahay na sa anyo, hugis, sukat at lugar ay ayon sa lahat ng aking kagustuhan.  Simula nang maramdaman ko ang kagandahan ng magkaroon ng isang sariling bahay ay hinangad ko na ang magkaroon nito na ako mismo ang mangangalaga.  Ninanamnam ang sayang nangingiti nang nag-iisa na nangangarap nang gising.  Ang tayog ng pangarap sa kalakasan ng pagsusumikap, sa mailap na pagkakatao’y nakakapagod.  Hanggang tumagal ng tumagal ang tayog ng pangarap ay binababaan upang mapalapit sa katotohanan para makamtan lamang.

Hanggang nakakapagod mangarap.  Sa kawalan ng pag-asa, ibinababa ko ang sarili upang maging mas  makatotohanan at hindi isang pangarap lamang.  Sa panahong parang susuko na ako, naramdaman ko na may ipinahihiwatig na pala sa akin ang mga pagkakataon.  Sa panahong nagpupursige akong makamit ang aking pangarap na bahay, sa maraming pagkakataon ay ipinararamdam sa akin ng pagkakataon na hindi ito dapat matuloy.  Hanggang maramdaman ko na mukhang hindi pa talaga dapat.  Hindi pa ito ang tamang oras upang ipagpilitan ko ang gusto ko.  Pinilit kong intindihin kung ano ang mga nakakapaligid sa akin at sinang-ayunan kung ano ang mayroon ako.  Tinanggap ko na lang ang katotohanan at isinaisip na kung anuman ang mga nangyayari ay mayroon pa rin itong mga kabutihan at kadahilanan.  Nasa tamang oras ang lahat.

Nananag-inip ako sa tanghaling tapat, iminulat ko ang aking mga mata, pinagmasdan ang sarili at aking naunawaan ang aking kalagayan.  Maganda pa rin na hindi ko pa makuha ngayon ang aking pangarap na bahay.  Dahil sa paghahangad ko ng isang sariling bahay na aking magiging kaharian, makamit ko man ito ngayon ay hindi ko naman ito makakapiling at mararamdamn nang lubos ang tamis ng may sariling kaharian.  Hindi ko rin ‘t naman ito matutuluyan, maayusan, malilinisan at maaalagaan, at palagi rin ko lang siyang iiwat-iwanan.  Hindi pa ito ang panahon, marahil ay kapag dumating na ang oras na nakahanda na akong hindi siya iwan at magpapasya akong manatili na nang matagalan sa aking sariling bayan.  Iniaadya ako ng pagkakataon na hindi matuloy ang aking ipinagpipiplitan dahil malamang na kung sakaling itinuloy ko ang aking desisyon ay mababaon lamang ako sa utang dahil sa laki ng halaga ng aking pangarap at tuluyang mawala ang lahat ng aking pinaghirapan.

Hindi pa huli ang lahat.  Sa ngayon, mahalaga na mas pagtuunan ko ng pansin ang ibang pagkakataon na magpapaunlad sa aking buhay.  May mga pagkakataon pa na iukol ko sa ibang bagay ang aking kakayahan at pagyamin kung ano man ang mayroon ako.  Tutal ay may inuuwian naman akong tahanan na tumatanggap sa akin, hanggang nasa ganito akong kalagayan na dumating-lumisan at bumalik, makabubuting hindi ko muna kuhanin ang bahay na malulungkot lamang sa tuwing ako ay aalis.  Maaari pa akong mangarap muli at kapag dumating na ang oras na hindi na ako muling aalis, kukuhanin ko na ang isang bahay upang makapiling siya nang matagalan at maramdaman ang pagsasaya ng totoong mayroong sariling bahay, at marahil ay iyun na ang tamang panahon na makamit ko ang aking pinakapinapangarap na bahay.

Ni Alex V. Villamayor

August 4, 2014