THE END

As the end of the year 2012 approaches, I’ve came across to recollect the news about the end of the world that headlined in the past few days.  In my years of existence, I remember as a conscious individual that there had been several times that the end of our planet had seriously feared and talked nationwide.  The doomsday.

In 1988, I was really frightened with that 8-8-88 doomsday prediction.At that time, an article describing how it will look when the doomsday comes on 8-8-88 was randomly distributed.  It quoted there that different demons will come up that no one can bear how it look-like.  People were advised to cover the doors, windows and every hole that light could pass through with black covering.

Whether it’s prediction or prophecy, it’s difficult to blame the believing public because there are solid proof and signs that every psychics and prophets are holding.  And these signs from different scriptures of any religions are manifesting: war, earthquake, drought, typhoon, sickness – these are happening in our later days.

When year 2000 was approaching, the same prediction was revived again.  There was a great panic across the world that did not exempt me.  At first it troubled me but it naturally died out when I felt something strong on my faith.  When the anticipating end of the world did not happened, same prediction was circulated in emails on early year 2000 that come December 12, 2012 will be global holiday as everything on earth will totally stop because of the end of the world.  All planets will align on 12-12-12 causing a massive collision and destruction.  There was also the 11-11-11 prediction but as of now, apparently those predictions did not occur.

The 12-12-12 occurrence actually did not bother me because I could say I am not afraid to die now.  In my earlier years, I admit that I have fear of dying.  That was during the times I feel it’s my high days and I am full of regret to leave the things that I love so much.  Aside from the pain of dying, there were lots of small worldly things like sentimental novelty items, personal stuff, pictures and even my favorite clothes that I regret to disown.

But lately, it’s natural that I feel I am not afraid to die.  The pain of dying is still there but other than that, I’m no longer regretful to leave the earth. I think I’ve already reached my peak and at my age now, it seemed that nothing bigger I can expect for more to make me happy.  For one thing, I don’t have a family of my own who will feel sorry for my demise.  I know how my siblings will feel but I accept the fact that it will not be so emotional and sentimental because they have family of their own which is their first concern.

Predictions will always come.  The end of the world will always threat the mankind.  False prophets will always come out and will always claim their prophecy.  But if we’ll come to think about it, the doomsday have been long time written to happen very soon in the holy book of Christendom and it’s still wait and see after more than 2,000 years.  I haven’t read yet other religion’s book about the doomsday so I would not know how they deal with it.  But it is said that if you have strong faith in God, then there will be nothing to be afraid to receive your death or even the doomsday.

I always feel that if you are ready, you can easily accept the end.  When I said I am ready, I am not claiming the strong faith and living the life as good Christian because I am sinner myself.  Instead, what makes me confident is the kind of honest and humble life that I am practicing.  I have strong belief that my interaction with my brothers and sisters are fair.  And topping it all, I keep my constant and direct communication with my God who only knows the end of everything.

By Alex V. Villamayor

December 31, 2012

AT SIXTY-FOUR

 

This video was made for November 30 Day.

HBTM

This video is about self-recognition as a gift to myself on my birthday.  The video shows most of my characters, perception, and fundamentals.

BIRTHDAY MESSAGE

“Happy birthday to me”.  I don’t like any gift, all I want is just greet from friends.

I’ve been emotional just right after the month of November has comes.  Same in the previous years, I’ve been becoming sensitive and sentimental the moment November has started.  Every year, I am hoping and expecting that my friends and some in-particular would have remembered me on my birthday on November 30.

Immediate family is given, with or without mentioning, they will give their messages, cards and greetings.  But for those out from a family circle, knowing that they find time and effort to greet you is something exciting which is different from what your family gives.

I do not write my big day on my social media account because I want to be remembered without reminding anyone.  Same with telling it to anyone just to have surprise, I don’t want to show it off that someone gave me gift.  I told to my family to send their messages privately because I really want to keep it undisclosed, I’m not really into fanfare.

As early as this year, I planned to spend this day as normal.  We always have the impression of every birthday, we are celebrating it with foods to give thanks for reaching another year.  But I’ve realized, celebrating it should not just through party to show your gratitude.  There are still other ways – just need to find it.

Spending it as normal is not mine alone.  I asked for the sign and it was given.  So I did nothing but when the day has come, there were foods on the table prepared by my friends, the first time I had like this.  More than the feeling of shame and guilt, I’ve realized the reason why I didn’t need to prepare food is for me to get to know the real people around me.

I would like to thank first my immediate family who never misses every year to greet me.  Thanks also to my friends overseas who never fail to remember me today.  Thanks also to my group here who surprised me with lunch.  Though it should not be surprise anymore when I saw some of you were busy but when it’s up there, there’s really the feeling of surprise.  Thanks to Jojo Villamor, Arnel Nacpil and Butch Loayon for their menus.  I would like to thank Butch for the nice poster, Auric Perez for the card, happy birthday too to you – we’re both same day.  Special thanks to my Mareng Linda and inaanak Princess.  Thanks to my friend Enting for call, and to Mr. Chito the very first one who called me over the phone.  AND, to all of you who bzzz me on facebook – thanks to all.

I started this day saying my prayer of thanks.  And I will not last this day without giving Him again my thanks.

By Alex V. Villamayor

November 30, 2012

Khobar, KSA

NANGHIHINGI

Sa araw na ito ay gusto ko sanang bigyang-pansin ang aking sarili at sana ay ipaubayasa akin ang sandaling ito dahil sa anu'tanuman ay espesyal na araw naman ito para sa akin.  Ayon sa kasabihan, “Mas mabuti ang magbigay kaysa sa tumanggap”.  Mas mabuti na ang ikaw ang tumutulong kaysa sa ikaw ang tinutulungan dahil nangangahulugan lamang iyon nawala kang alalahanin o suliranin at hindi ikaw ang may pinagdaraanan o may pangangailangan.  Totoo ang kasabihan na ito.  At parasa akin ay mas gusto ko na ang tumulong kaysa ako ang mangailangan ng tulong.   Pero isang paglilinaw – hindi ako nakakariwasa sa buhay at kahit ako mismo ay mayroon ding mga pinagdaraanan at marami ring pangangailangan ngunit masasabi kong sa buhay ko ay napapansin kong ako lagi ang nagbibigay, hindi man pinansiyal kundi mga bagay na hindi nakikita o nahahawakan.  Madalas ay napapakiusapan ako ng pabor, hindi sa dumadaing ako o nagsasawa kundi nabanggit ko lamang ito dahil nagkakaroon ako ng kaunting hinanakit.

Ang gusto kong ipunto dito ay may mga tao na madalas tumulong, magbigay at dumamay na sinasabi nilang bukal sa kanilang loob ang ginagawa at wala silang hinihintay na kapalit.  Ngunit kahit na sinasabi nilang huwag na silang bayaran bilang paganti ng utang ng loob ay marapat pa rin na kahit papaano ay maala-ala natin silang mabigyan ng kahit maliit na kaloob.  Minsan ay dapat binibigyan natin sila bilang pasasalamat sa kanilang ibinibigay, magantihan man lang ang kanilang pagiging matulungin.  Maliliit na bagay lang ngunit sa mga taong katulad nila ay napakalaking bagay na iyon.  Hindi naman sa paniningil, hindi naman sa paghihintay ng kapalit ngunit ang sa akin lang – kahit gaano kabait sa pagtulong ang sino mang tao mapa-pinansiyal, moral o anu pa man, at kahit na sabihin niyang hindi siya naghihintay ng kahit anong kapalit sa lahat ng kanyang mga ibinibigay – kahit papaano ay naiisip din nila o nararamdaman na sana ay sila naman ang mabigyan o maabutan ng kahit simple at maliit na bagay lamang.  Hindi naman kasi sila manhid.  Kahit sabihin nilang ayos lamang na magbigay sila ng magbigay ngunit sa isang bahagi ng kanilang damdamin ay naroon pa rin ang kagalakan na sila ay makatanggap.

Sabihin na lang natin na kahit pabalat-bunga lamang ay maisipan natin na bigyan sila ng kaunti bilang ganti sa kanilang mga naibibigay.  Sa aking karanasan, nakakasakit din yung bigay ka ng bigay pero wala namang balik na mararamdaman mo yung kahalagahan ng iyong ginawa.  Hindi naman sa materyal at pinansiyal na bagay mo mararamdaman ang pagbabalik nila sa iyo ng ibinigay.  Bukod sa pasasalamat, kahit papaano ay mararamdaman ng isang tao ang pagbabalik sa kanyang kabaitan sa pamamag-itan ng mga simpleng magawan mo rin siya ng maliliit na pabor.  Tulad halimbawa ng maipaalaala mo sa kanya ang kanyang mga gagawin, mabati sa mahahalagang araw, purihin ang kanyang ibang katangian o kahit ang maimbita mo siyang makasabay sa paglalakad  –maipadama mo man lang na inilalapit mo ang iyong loob sa kanya.

 Sa madalas na pagkakataon na mayroon akong nabibigyan ng pabor, kapag ako ay nagbigay ay hindi na ako umaasa ng kapalit at kahit sinasabi ko na masaya ako na ako na lang ang magbibigay, nasasabik pa rin ako na ako naman ang makatanggap – hindi ko lang sinasabi ngunit naghahangad din ako na sana ay ako naman ang mabigyan, maabutan ng regalo, lalo na sa mga natatanging okasyon tulad ng kaarawan.  Doon ko nararamdaman na mahalagang taon pa rin ako.  Hindi naman ako naghahangad ng malaki o madalas pero dumadating ang oras na nakakaramdam ako ng paghahangad na sana ay kahit minsan ako naman ang mabigyan.  Sana kahit tuwing kaarawan ko man lang ay mayroon magbigay sa akin ng kahit anong maliit na bagay man lang.  Bato, papel na may maiksing mensahe, isang piraso ng kakanin na itatago ko ang pinagbalatan – yung mga ganun kasimpleng bagay lang.  Aaminin ko, tuwing kaarawan ko ay naghihintay at umaasa ako ng regalo.  Dahil yun ang pagkakataon na mararamdaman ko ang kahalagahan ko sa ibang tao.  Ngunit ang masakit ay ang kahit simpleng pagbati man lamang mula sa mga taong malalapit sa akin maliban sa pamilya, mga taong inaasahan at hinahangad kong bumati sa akin ay nabibigo ako.

Ayon sa mga sinaunang Griyego, ang kahulugan daw ng pangalan ko ay taga-tulong o tagapagtanggol kaya siguro ang nagiging papel ko sa buhay aykatuwang, katulong, tagapag-pasaya ng ibang tao at taga-sagip sa kanilangproblema.  Totoo yata na isinilang ako hindi para sa aking sarili kundi para sa ibangtao, na tutulungan sa kanilang pangangailangan ngunit sa sarili kong pangangailangan at suliranin ay lagi akong nag-iisa, naghihintay at naghahanap ng tutulong sa akin.

ni Alex V. Villamayor

November 30, 2012

ME AT T.G.I. FRIDAY

The following video is for personal souvenir only.  The background music is not owned.

ME AT STARBUCKS

The following video is for personal souvenir only.  Background music is not owned.

Experiencing the coffee of the famous Starbucks, I recorded this to keep my memory of the things that I had. 

ANG MGA TAONG MAGAGALING

Sa una o pangalawa, hinahayaan mo lamang siya sa kanyang mga sinasabi.  Kapag siya ay nagsalita at nagpaliwanag tungkol sa kanyang saloobin ay pinagbibigyan mo siya dahil nasa una at bago pa lang naman ang pagkakataon ninyong magka-usap.  Dahil kadalasan,ang karaniwang pag-uugali ng isang matuwid na tao ay mapagbigay sa una, bilang respeto na rin sa kanilang pagkakadaupang-palad.  Kung sa pangatlong pagkakataon o higit pa na binibigyan niya ng katwiran ang kanyang mga dahilan kung bakit tama siya at ikaw ang mali ay unti-unti mong mararamdaman ang pagmamagaling ng isang tao.  Maaaring mapansin mong tila ang taong ito ay maalam at laging mayroong dahilan at sagot.  Lalo na kung ang pamamaraan ng kanyang pagpapaliwanag ay lumalabas na nangingibabaw ang kawastuan ng kanyang paniniwala.

Kahit mapagpasensiya kang tao ngunit kung ang kausap mo ay iyung tao na palaging may katwiran, iyung ayaw magpatalo sa kanyang katwiran, at iyung mayroon dahilan kung siya man ay may pagkakamali, na parang nagkamali man siya ay tama pa rin siy dahil nabigyan niya ng dahilan kung bakit siya nagkamali – pasensiyoso ka mang tao ngunit kahit papaano ay makakaramdam ka rin ng pagkasagad ng iyong pasensiya.  Kasi, totoo naman na ang taong hindi magpapatalo na para bang laging siya ang tama ay talagang nakakainis.  Para bang isang malaking kapintasan ang kung hindi siya magsalita ng kanyang panig upang malaman na siya ang tama.  Para bang napakahirap bale-walain muna niya ang pagkakasalungat sa kanyang paniniwala ng isang tao.  Tuloy ay para siyang laging ipinagtatanggol ang kanyang sarili at laging pinapatunayang siya ay tama.

Ang nangyayari nito ay hindi na siya tumatanggap ng katwiran ng iba dahil naniniwala siya na siya ang magaling, iyung parang hindi nagkakamali.  Nagiging mapagmataas na siya.  Kung sasabihin niyang wala siyang magagawa dahil iyun ang kanyang paniniwala na pinaninidigan lamang niya na magunaw man ang mundo ay iyun talaga ang kanyang paniniwala, at pinahahalagahan lamang niya ang kanyang mga sinasabi – wala siyang malasakit sa damdamin ng ibang tao.  May kanya-kanya man tayong opinyon at ang kailangan lang ay ang respetuhan, pero paano mo irerespeto ang kanyang paninindigan kung sa ganun na ang kanyang paniniwala’t katwiran ay nakikita mo na hindi siya marunong magrespeto sa paniniwala ng iba?  Lumalabas lamang ang kanyang pagiging makasarili dahil wala na siyang pagsasaalang-alang sa sitwasyon ng ibang tao o pangyayari.  Parang isang kabayo na isang panig lang ang nakikita.

Hindi paninindigan kundi kataasan ng ugali na lang ang umiiral sa puso ng taong ayaw magpatalo.  Sila ang mga taong magagaling na ayaw tumanggap ng kanyang pagkakamali at mataas ang tingin sa sarili. Kung pakakaisipin, maaari namang hindi na natin kailangan na laging ipaalam ang ating paniniwala kahit nasa tamang panig tayo.  Kung may naka-krus tayo ng landas at mali siya – hindi laging kailangan na sabihin mo ang alam mong nararapat.  Kung minsan, may mga bagay na dapat ay hinahayaan mong matuto ang ibang tao sa kanilang pamamaraan nang hindi masasagasaan ang kanilang damdamin.  Hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon ay kailangang ipaglaban mo ang iyong paniniwala, dahil minsan ang labis na pagtatanggol mo sa iyong idelohiya ay sumusugat sa pagkatao ng iba.

Magnilay-nilay tayo.  Tingnan natin ang ating sarili na baka naman sa paningin ng ibangtao ay nagiging magaling na ang pagkakapalagay natin sa ating sarili.  Isipin mo nang walang kinikilingan kung ang mga taong nasa paligid mo ay magiliw at totoo pa sa iyo.  Tingnan mong mabuti ang iyong sarili, kung maraming nagagalit sa iyo, kung ang sarili mong pamilya – maaaring asawa, magulang, mga kapatid, mga kamag-anak at ang pinaka-huli ay anak, kung mayroon dalawa sa kanila o higit pa ang hindi gusto ang iyong ugali…teka muna, baka naman ikaw na ang may diprensiya.  Mabigat ang dalahin sa buhay kung maraming tao ang may galit sa iyo dahil malamang na ipinagdarasal nila ang iyong paghihirap.

Alex V. Villamayor

October 24, 2012

UNDO OF DO’S AND DON’TS

The difficult thing to do is when you cannot do what you really most liked to do.  How will you feel when you cannot express what’s in your mind or you cannot speak the words that can please you?  It’s a pity.  Although you know it is for the good of something, things are still not that easily done.

It is not that you have disability but it goes for those who keep things undisclosed as conformity.  If for some reason you should not do anything that can disclose something, then taking the painful truth is the most possible you can do, but then again it’s still hurting when you cannot do what you want to do because of restrictions.

It’s a matter of holding on to your word of honour and valuing the importance of your conviction.  When you are proud of something to show, when you feel to touch other’s life, when you want to show your gratitude, concern and affection, and when you are about to do these but you are bounded with promise of not doing these, it hurts but you need to stand your conviction.

Because there are times you just need to go with the flow and just bear the pain of it as if it is the best for the rest, you’ll just give way for the sake of that majority.  There are good things that you don’t need to do if it can harm.    If why, it is because we are living not only for ourselves.  "Good for you" doesn’t mean good to your brothers and sisters.

You will feel the fury, losing, sadness and anguish in yourself but you can’t help it but to resist.  Folding your wings while you can stretch them and go fly locks you in the cage.  If the emotion in your heart is confined because of self-infliction then it will make your world to become smaller and most things will turn complicated.

While it is true that there is nothing sweeter than to be free, but there are times that you need to prefer unspoken to protect others rather than yourself.  Words are powerful ways of complementing others but if you cannot say it will be in vain.  If action speaks louder than voice, then the most that you can do is to say it through eyes.  Eyes are the windows of the soul, the persons’ thoughts can be ascertained by looking into their eyes.

Sometimes you have no choice but to undo what is needed to do.  If your responsibility is to keep yourself inside the six-side of the box, though the dark will wrap you whole but from there you can see the light from darkness.  There’s always way for everything.  Look at what the darkness can make for you.

It is better still you do what you feel to do because it is good to carry out what you want before it become too late.  There are many ways of expressing your thoughts and feeling other than words.  What you need to do is look intensely into your heart and let is speak for yourself.

By Alex V. Villamayor

October 18, 2012

SELF REFLECTION IN TIMES OF ADVERSITY

Life is made up of problems, trial and difficulties.  Without them will not be challenging, interesting and exciting.  Every surpassed challenge, the taste of victory is sweet and life is so good to live with.  But what if life is full of problems that do not end?

When we feel that our difficulties seem never end, when the sufferings in our life do not leave us, then it’s time for ourselves to have reflection.   If it seems there are hurdles in our dream, goal and courses of action, then maybe there is something wrong with us that we need to change. We need to do some self-check. 

Self-reflection is a careful thought about your own behavior and beliefs.  It is the time for us to evaluate and correct ourselves.  In our time of reflection, examine ourselves, analyze our persistence and the actions we’ve taken in beating our struggles.  Scrutinize, maybe our courses of action to achieve what we aimed to accomplish are still not enough and we need to push further ourselves.

Despite of this, if we think we’ve done what we should do yet life is still seemingly a heavy burden to carry, then it might be something personal.  Maybe we need to change our behavior, personality and character.   Let us look at ourselves and carefully examine our character and personality towards social relationships.  Have a sincere meditation and thoroughly evaluate ourselves without being bias and subjective.  We have to be fair in our self-evaluation.  Reflect if our persona is good.  We may have bad behavior and wrong-doings that we put into our lives.  Karma will payback if we are living in the wrong way of social interaction.

If often we hurt, oppress and aggrieve some people with our unpleasant behavior, then no matter how hard we sincerely strive good karma will hardly land in our hands. The more we do these and the more people we hurt, the more people will wish us to suffer.  Maybe people hate us and their collective desires will make our life miserable.  We may notice the incessant suffering, be it financial difficulties and health condition, but what’s more saddening and hurting is its extension to our closest persons that are getting involved in difficulty because of our unpleasant behavior, until we realized the importance of social relationship.

I’d been in the certain point of battling the burden and did a thorough reflection.  Although I could say it was not about character and personality towards human relationships.  What I did was cleaning of conscience to lighten the burden, changed and started anew.  I freed all the negative emotions that homed in me for times like despair, pessimism, jinxed, and the most negative here was the grudge which I freed through forgiving those people whom I had ill feelings against.

What I’m trying to highlight is the importance of self-reflection.  If you did it with all your heart, you will feel the gratification instantly in yourself.  Life can be difficult still but hope lightens it because you don’t have carrying resentments.  Until you have used to it and end the suffering.

By Alex V. Villamayor 

 October 12, 2012