THE GOOD NEWS AND THE BAD NEWS

The historic gold win of Carlos Yulo in Olympic was overwhelmingly rejoiced and celebrated by many Filipinos.  Why not, it was country’s honor to witness Philippines big win in the greatest show on earth.  And people were in high ecstasy, uttering this usual Pinoys’ “proud” often being told left and right in social media.  And suddenly the rift between the mother and son was noticeably unearthed to the public.  In this age of social media, there are so many things that netizens can have so much ways to find, see and speak easily.

 

People will not really know that there is ongoing family feud among family members particularly the mother and son if not because of human’s habit of speaking out on social media of what we want.  It was actually unknown to many.  Most people are actually unaware of this family issue not until the headline of the son’s winning gold in the Paris Olympics just right after the unsupportive mother’s sarcastic shared of thoughts in her social media account.  This is the closest timeline of this family quarrel to this headline.  The mother’s statement that many people found it not in good taste.  And because of that, people got curious and then had discovered that there is conflict between the two because of the searched old shared opinion, hints and insinuations found in social media.  And these are what have exposed: the son was disowned, there is issue of children investment, and saddest thing is there is involved money.

 

It's family matter, the members of the family should actually refrain to broadcast their sides to save themselves.  It is not defending who is right and wrong.  It is not nice washing dirty linens in public.  But because there are people want to share what they know, what is their side, and how good they are, and so the mother made statement to clear herself and be heard again her side – this should not take place actually.  Then the girlfriend who was accused of bad influencing the boy friend has made her own share to the issue which should not take place too.  And so the brother shared good message to his brother, slightly hinted about the feud, and encouraged his brother to have family conversation, which all these things from the beginning can be done privately.  And then finally the son shared video about what surrounding his family’s relationship, lessons from what have transpired and forgiveness to those who sin.  He could have done better by just saying sorry to those hurt or just by staying quite.

 

If everyone has just learned the wisdom of having less talk less mistake principle, this whole saga of family drama will not be unfold to the public.  This will not come to this huge magnified family affair if everyone has just learned to keep quiet and did not bring it to social media, newspapers, and the press conference.  That prescon is really not needed – the tears, the emotion, the drama; the interviews to the father, mother and children; good messages and show of love to each other – all this are not pleasing to many.  The family is not that big, why don’t just talk all of these privately?  After the prescon, do we think it will stop from there?  This can actually cause another or bigger issue based on what have said in the prescon.  No matter what happen, people will always say something.  Tens of thousands people are watching, there and there will be in favor and against, there will be no unanimous.  Recently, the family of the girlfriend defended theirs.

 

The good news: a dream has come true, a hardship has paid off, and the honor of the country was recognized.  And the bad news, a family is breaking.  Now, what can we learn from this?  Take these lessons: (1) know when is the right time to talk, to listen, and to keep silent.  The ore you talk the more chances of mistakes and questions.  (2) Know what to say and what not to say in public, particularly in social media.  Finance, family issue, and personal matter are things that should keep private they are not part of public property.  (3) Stop the toxicity of Filipino culture of making our children investment.  Living in poor and hard life, securing the better future of your children which is your obligation, while taking are your self is really big challenge.  But you have to do what is your due obligation to your family and your children have to take care their own family, same as how you should have done with your parents.  (4) Stop the curse of debt of gratitude and admonishment.  Saying “if it was not for me you wouldn’t be human, or wouldn’t be where you are, or wouldn’t have made it” will not make better but will just worsen the things.  Your children did not ask you to be born. The children did not choose their parents.  (5) Respect to parents is very important; it will save the values of family.  If we cannot forget what they did that we don’t like while in their roof, then say no to hurt them as respecting them as your parents anyway.  (6) Mother’s love is great; they do everything to protect her children.  But every mother has to know the things that they should not interfere, like choosing the partner.  (7) Girlfriend or boyfriend should not join in family feud.  It is not pleasant to see disrespect at this early where your in-laws relationship is still not sealed.  How much more insinuation can happen when all of you get there?  Wait and let your partner speak for you. (8) And lastly, be humble. Be kind.  Say sorry.  Ask forgiveness.  Talk and fix the broken family.