SPEAKING IN TOASTMASTER

I was invited to attend in a toastmaster session.  I accepted it and it was my first time to attend in a toastmaster.  I really wanted to attend long before but the big hurdle that impedes me is my hectic workload.  I made to attend not because I am considering a plan to become a good speaker someday but simply because I want to find out if this is what I want.  As a matter of fact, I always thought toastmaster is about journalism.  This makes me interested, so I’ve just wanted to give a shot and so I made to finally attend.  But while I was there observing the session, I realized that toastmaster is actually about talking.  Later I checked in dictionary that it is about improving the communication, public speaking and leadership skills.  Toastmaster is a program designed to help people learn the arts of speaking, listening and thinking.  Though it is not really about what I thought, nevertheless I enjoyed the session and I participated in activities where in one I was asked a certain question.  It was my first time to undergo in an unrehearsed question and answer.  Walking alone going into the front gives me already the worries if I can speak well and doubts on my mind are coming in.  Will the question easy, will I have mental block, or will I answer the question?

How do the policemen will be effected when the female drivers ________?  I can’t remember what completes the question but what I thought was about driving violation of female drivers.  But I need to talk and I said, seeing the women driving for the first time, in Saudi Arabia is surprising.  The policemen…. (I started groping words to say) being known how we respect women…. arrr…..  (gee, here again I’m lost in focus.  Then, I composed myself again).  But I think, whether it is male or female, if they are law abiding in the traffic rules, there will be no problem at all”.  Of course that was wrong.  It really showed me that I am not into speaking.  The complete and correct question was: How do the policemen affect their work when they see female driving?  If I will answer it in writing even on the spot, this will be my answer:  Seeing the women in Saudi Arabia driving for the first time, the policemen should be very cautious.  Somehow it will affect their job on how to approach female drivers, apply the rules considering the respect given to females which is already in nature.  And besides, how to identify these drivers behind those hood on faces, and how to investigate without bypassing the culture and nature are tough challenges.  And if I will answer again the same question after minutes passed, I will be more prepared so it will be more detailed.  Time is both my friend and enemy.

The problem with me is that most of the time I am not spontaneous, most especially of course when I am not prepared.   You can tell me to write thousand words about any given subject, I would prefer and love it but to speak a couple of sentences about the subject right there and then is something that I will struggle.  Let’s just say I prefer to write because this is my interest and this is where I am comfortable, my comfort zone.  I am a person in few words, this is my nature.  I am not talkative.  I cannot speak after speak, prolong my talk, talking while thinking what I will say next and compose myself.  It is difficult for me getting the complete message when I need to compose myself to response, and if listening to the rest of the message while I am still composing myself, then the structure of building up my speak will collapse.  However, whether or not it is prepared, I am not a spontaneous speaker and am not really into speaking.    I am into writing but I must admit I am not good in speaking.  I have speech defect.  I am somewhat a bit stutter and besides when in front of the audience I experience mental block that prevents me to think properly.

Learning thru listening to those short talks from reliable people I met, to be a good speaker is not just the bravery to speak but when you speak you must have also the substance, persuasion, choice of words and good grammar.  It was nice experience learning from the authorized and I must take it from the expert.  The lesson I learned from that session: I need to improve my confidence in speaking in front of number of people.  I am not aspiring to become good speaker, not thinking to be a guest speaker in the future and most of all I do not want to become a leader.  The reasons if I want to attend another toastmaster soon are that I just want to learn speaking impromptu, avoiding mental block during on the spot conversation, and build confidence.  Yes, I can give a chance to attend again but I think it will not my priority since what I really want to find is a group whose passion is about writing.