UTANG NG LOOB SA PAMILYA

Tanong: obligasyon ba na tumanaw ng utang ng loob ang mga anak sa pag-aalaga at pagpapalaki sa kanila ng kanilang magulang?  Sagot: hindi obligasyon, kasi hindi naman tayo nag-aalaga at nagpapalaki ng anak para pagdating ng panahon ay may babalik sa atin na benepisyo ng pagpapalaki sa kanila.  Hindi obligasyon kundi kagustuhan ang tawag duon.  Kasi kung naging mabuting tao ang anak ay gagawin niya na pasayahin ang magulang niya hindi dahil tumatanaw siya ng utang ng loob kundi dahil mahal niya ang mga ito.  Aalagaan niya tulad din ng ginawang pag-alaga sa kanila nuong bata pa sila.  Kasi obligasyon naman talaga ng mga magulang na alagaan at palakihin ang kanilang mga anak, at ito din ang gagawin ng mga anak nila sa mga magiging anak nila – at ito ang isang buong-ikot ng ating buhay.

Palagi na nating naririning ang panunumbat at pangungusensiya na kung hindi dahil sa mga magulang ay hindi magiging tao ang mga anak, kung hindi dahil sa paghihirap, pagsisikap, at pag-aalaga ng mga magulang sa mga anak ay hindi makakapag-aral, hindi magtatagumpay o hindi makakarating sa kinaroroonan ngayon ang anak.  Bakit isusumbat ang mga ito kung sa una pa lang ay ang mga magulang naman ang may gusto nito dahil gusto nila na maging maganda ang kinabukasan ng kanilang anak? Unang-una, hiniling ba ng anak na ipanganak sila?  Kung pagtanaw ng utang ng loob din lang naman ang pag-uusapan, hindi ba kung tutuusin sa simula pa lang nang nagpaplano pa lang sila na magpakasal ay pangarap na ng mga magulang ang magkaroon ng anak para masabing may anak sila, para masabi na kumpleto ang buhay nila, para masabing sinunod nila ang kautusan na mag-anak?  Hindi ba’t ang mga ito ay pangsariling kasiyahan?  Hindi ba nang isilang ang anak nila ay masayang-masaya ang naramdaman nila dahil natupad ang pangarap nila na nakumpleto na ang kanilang pagkatao, at natupad nila ang kanilang silbi sa mundo na mag-anak kaya bakit ngayon ay isusumbat ang mga ito?  Kapag ang bata ay pinalaki nang tama, tatanaw at tatanaw ng utang ng loob ang mga ito pero ang tanong ay hanggang saan, hanggang kailan at sa anong paraan ba ang pagtanaw ng utang ng loob o pagpapasalamat?  Ang sagot: depende sa kakayanan ng anak.  Kung tutuusin ay nagiging tanong lang naman ito kapag may kailangan ang magulang na ayaw ibigay o hindi maibigay ng anak.  Ang problema ay nagiging materyal at nagkakaroon ng presyo ang sukatan ng pagtanaw ng utang ng loob.  Paano kung naghihikahos din ang anak katulad ng kanilang mga magulang?  Kasi magagawa ng anak ang pagtanaw ng utang ng loob sa maraming paraan.  Aalagaan at buhuhayin, poprotektahan at ipagtatanggol, sasamahan at dadamayan, itinataas ang pagtingin, bibigyan ng kung anong makakayanan, at marami pang iba nang walang halong materyal na bagay.  Dahil tumatanaw ka ng utang ng loob, napapatawad mo sila kung may nagawa silang kamalian para sa iyo. Kung may nagawang kasalanan man ay mapapatawad mo pa rin sila dahil nga ang pagtanaw ng utang ng loob ay hindi lang sa pamamag-itan ng materyal na bagay.  Kung minsan nga ay mayroon sitwasyon na kahit anong sama daw ng magulang ay mamahalin at mamahalin mo pa rin ang mga ito dahil magulang mo sila.  Iyun ay dahil tumatanaw ka ng utang ng loob at iginagalang mo sila.  Pero nasa sa iyo na kung pagkatapos mong magpatawad ay paano ang magiging relasyon ninyo dahil ang mahalaga ay nagpatawad ka ng totoo at tunay.  Kasi kahit kailan ay hindi naman nababayaran ng kahit milyones na pera kapag pagbuhay sa anak na ang pinag-uusapan, pero ang mga kabutihang ibabalik ng anak ay walang katumbas din na halaga tulad ng buhay na ibinigay sa atin ng mga magulang.

Ang pagtanaw ng utang ng loob sa ating mga magulang ay kusang-loob na ugaling mapagkalinga na hindi obligasyong ipipilit, hindi itinakdang responsibilidad, at sapilitang kautusan na gagawin.  Ito ay sariling kagustuhan at hindi pilit na responsibilidad, tungkulin at obligasyon.  Kaya iwasan na natin ang ganitong kultura dahil nakakalason na ito tuwing ipinagpipilitan natin na bahagi ito ng kung paano tayo naging tao. Tandaan natin na kapag nagkapamilya na ang ating mga anak ay ang sarili na nilang pamilya ang una nilang prayoridad, susunod na lang ang pinangalingang pamilya.  Pero kahit may sarili ng pamilya ang anak ay hindi niya ganap na inaabandona ang kanyang mga magulang dahil iginagalang at tumatanaw siya ng utang ng loob sa mga ito, at dahil lumaki siyang isang mabuting tao.

THE HUMBLING SOUTHERNMOST

Recently, I made a visit to four provinces in the southernmost part of my country: Zamboanga, the Bangsamoro Basilan, Sulu and Tawi-Tawi. The visit was actually not part of my plan this year but I thought I had to do it now before I missed it. True enough, the experience was memorable and productive.

 

VIVA ZAMBOANGA.  First stop was in the port pillar in Zamboanga. Mi viaje a Zamboanga para primero tiempo esta buen. Yo amo' los espanoles influencias preserva en nuestra cultural ahora. Tambien los cocinares y las palabras. Muchisimas gracias, Zamboanga.

 

Zamboanga is leading the region, living the people more advance than the neighboring provinces, and enjoying the reputation as the Asia's Latin city. Though if I may say it did not really impress me that much but Zamboanga has its own charm that is attractive to others, it is The Flower City anyway.  Being the person who loves vintage that I am, I like the Spanish remnants are visibly present up to this date, the old houses still exist and the architectural designs are dominantly obvious everywhere. And I am really grateful to taste the authentic curacha dish, a famous specialty originated in Zamboanga.  The Rainbow Mosque (Masjid Al-Islamia) is very catchy. Its colours are inevitable candies to tourists. There is only one destination I really looked forward to see in Zamboanga: the Pink Beach, but true enough to our tour guide disclaimer about expectation versus reality, we should not expect high as the sand is not really pink. Zamboanga is very colorful, if there is something that rewarded my craving to be in this place, seeing an original vinta upclose is my favorite moment in Zamboanga.

 

SOULFUL SULU.  Going to Sulu on the very first time gives me the feeling of out of the country vibes. Sulu is one of the components of Bangsamoro region. As a dominant Muslim place, hearing the calls for their prayer times puts me to feel like in the documentary movies featuring the life of people in rural places. The place is soulful and serene, leaving you the impression of simplicity, modesty, and old fashion. Sulu is layback and it is conservative here.  Being in Sulu dismissed my impression that the place is fearsome, an stigma that most always attached to this place due to past unrest encounters and terrorism incidents, tourist like me became evasive to visit this naturally beautiful place. I must admit, there was fear in me prior to come here especially as solo in Sulu traveler but my faith first and foremost fortified my decision, and when finally here, the visibility of men in uniform holding those firearms crossed to their chest gives the feeling of security to tourists like me.

 

My visit to Sulu was number of firsts to me like when I tried to eat foods that the locals do. Satti is a chicken or beef in barbecue stick served with sweet and spicy gravy and with some sticky rice. My first taste was easily approved. Then, Tausug's Chicken Piyanggang is grilled chicken marinated in burnt coconut meat, this gives unique spice taste. Then Tiyulang Itum, also called black soup because of the burnt coconut meat. The taste is actually similar to Tagalog's Sinuam. And I did not miss the chance to finally taste the unpopular Durian fruit for its potent smell. Though it is not actually when you are eating it, it is starchy but I did not find it good and sweet. I am expecting a jackfruit like but it is not, same with Marang fruit. And lastly, the fresh seafoods are cheaply affordable.

 

Being in Sulu is an experience. It is learning to observe their situations and respect their faith and traditions. Actually, Sulu is misunderstood.  It is generally peaceful here.  Being been there, you can left your heart or soul in Sulu.

 

BEHIND BASILAN.  Basilan is stunning. The nice white sand and wide esplanade of Malamawi Beach in Pahali made me counted it as one of the ideal picture perfect beaches. While here I tried Tausug's delicatessen Putli Mandi, a dessert steam rice cake from glutinous rice, usually purple, rounded into ball, and sprinkled with coconut strip. Also the Wadjit, a confectionery made from black and white glutinous rice stuffed with brown sugar filling, perfect with their native coffee.  While in Basilan, seeing the women wearing hijab wherever they go like in market, street, schools, and even in beach is testament of their solid faith. But behind these beautiful impressions, there is sadness forming in my heart while looking around at the actual pictures of the ordinary surroundings. Basilan brought me in mixed emotions that part of me was the eagerness to see its nature while on the other hand it undeniably caused me to feel sad. Instead of enjoying the ride of travelling, the sad reality of its situation, condition and unpleasant views of poverty pains my heart. There were apparent things that will really feel the life there is poor, slow, and sad. Well it can be subjective but as tourist you can feel there is something it is holding back. I supposed to enjoy but seeing the wooden houses sunk in shallow water and muds along the shore, scattering household wastes in the premises, hinting education is unaffordable, and seeing some children begging for alms instead made me affected witnessing the difficulties of life. These are the baseline of Basilan.  Basilan is left behind and this confirms my feelings when I checked, Basilan appears to be the highest poverty rate in the country. Our Muslim brothers and sisters are left behind. The community is neglected but it is very promising if supported.

Basilan has best beaches to brag its clean beaches, fine white sands, turquoise water,

and spectacular long shallow to deep shoreline. Behind the not good things that I have seen, indeed there are more beautiful things around Basilan like lively festivities, colorful artworks, and unexplored nature gems that can show to world.

 

AND LASTLY, TAWI-TAWI.  It is the last province and the southernmost in the Philippines, I like Tawi-tawi escapade the most among my quad-provinces travel collectively alled s "ZamBaSulTa", especially the Panampangan Island known for having the longest sandbar in the country stretching over 3,000 meters and vividly connecting to the next island when low tide. The place is so natural, unfiltered and very instagramable. What you see is what you get - the pure, soft and white sand was truly an experience.

While in Tawi-tawi, I had breakfast in Arabic setup, trekking the 1,122 feet summit and over 3,000 steps of Bud Bongao, explored the Boloboc cave, and visited the Pink Mosque (Masjid Dimaukom) situated in Mindanao State University.

 

Tawi-tawi is the last province in the South, it is geographically very near in Malaysia and Indonesia. Although I missed the Sitangkai which is the last baranggay closest to Malaysia but experience to be here is enough. Tawi-tawi has a lot more to offer; it has colorful culture, history and tradition, the untouched flora & fauna is priceless, there are interesting foods and the amazing locals who have stories to share. Tawi-tawi is under Bangsamoro Autonomous Region in Muslim Mindanao though life is layback but Tawi-tawi has smiles in its face and it is very promising that is in waiting to develop. The dominantly Badjao ethnic group who are sea gypsies settled in water overlooking the picturesque emerald waters, they are popularly known for diving the coins thrown by ships' passengers while docking in the port. And definitely the fresh air to breathe is generous. And of course, getting me inside the Mosque is first to me and something that is really an honor. Paying respect to Masjid Sheikh Makhdum in Sangay Siapuh, Simunul Island was truly an opportunity to experience and my visit to Tawi-tawi is definitely for keep.

 

All in all, my travel to collectively Zamboanga, Basilan, Sulu, and Tawi-tawi was not enough to enter in my top-5 most beautiful places I visited. But my number one takeaway here is the knowledge I have gained so, is it so productive gaining all these knowledge?  

Going to these places from Manila, the fastest and convenient way is a three and a half hour direct flight to Zamboanga.  Since Sulu and Basilan are close to Zamboanga as the main gateway, going there was back and forth from and to each other.  Travel can be thru bus, ferry and plane.  We used ferry which is one and a half hour to Basilan and seven hours to Sulu.  And finally, we needed to go back to Zamboanga going to Tawi-tawi thru 1 hour flight as aircraft is the most practical for travelers as times matter in counting.

THE GOOD NEWS AND THE BAD NEWS

The historic gold win of Carlos Yulo in Olympic was overwhelmingly rejoiced and celebrated by many Filipinos.  Why not, it was country’s honor to witness Philippines big win in the greatest show on earth.  And people were in high ecstasy, uttering this usual Pinoys’ “proud” often being told left and right in social media.  And suddenly the rift between the mother and son was noticeably unearthed to the public.  In this age of social media, there are so many things that netizens can have so much ways to find, see and speak easily.

 

People will not really know that there is ongoing family feud among family members particularly the mother and son if not because of human’s habit of speaking out on social media of what we want.  It was actually unknown to many.  Most people are actually unaware of this family issue not until the headline of the son’s winning gold in the Paris Olympics just right after the unsupportive mother’s sarcastic shared of thoughts in her social media account.  This is the closest timeline of this family quarrel to this headline.  The mother’s statement that many people found it not in good taste.  And because of that, people got curious and then had discovered that there is conflict between the two because of the searched old shared opinion, hints and insinuations found in social media.  And these are what have exposed: the son was disowned, there is issue of children investment, and saddest thing is there is involved money.

 

It's family matter, the members of the family should actually refrain to broadcast their sides to save themselves.  It is not defending who is right and wrong.  It is not nice washing dirty linens in public.  But because there are people want to share what they know, what is their side, and how good they are, and so the mother made statement to clear herself and be heard again her side – this should not take place actually.  Then the girlfriend who was accused of bad influencing the boy friend has made her own share to the issue which should not take place too.  And so the brother shared good message to his brother, slightly hinted about the feud, and encouraged his brother to have family conversation, which all these things from the beginning can be done privately.  And then finally the son shared video about what surrounding his family’s relationship, lessons from what have transpired and forgiveness to those who sin.  He could have done better by just saying sorry to those hurt or just by staying quite.

 

If everyone has just learned the wisdom of having less talk less mistake principle, this whole saga of family drama will not be unfold to the public.  This will not come to this huge magnified family affair if everyone has just learned to keep quiet and did not bring it to social media, newspapers, and the press conference.  That prescon is really not needed – the tears, the emotion, the drama; the interviews to the father, mother and children; good messages and show of love to each other – all this are not pleasing to many.  The family is not that big, why don’t just talk all of these privately?  After the prescon, do we think it will stop from there?  This can actually cause another or bigger issue based on what have said in the prescon.  No matter what happen, people will always say something.  Tens of thousands people are watching, there and there will be in favor and against, there will be no unanimous.  Recently, the family of the girlfriend defended theirs.

 

The good news: a dream has come true, a hardship has paid off, and the honor of the country was recognized.  And the bad news, a family is breaking.  Now, what can we learn from this?  Take these lessons: (1) know when is the right time to talk, to listen, and to keep silent.  The ore you talk the more chances of mistakes and questions.  (2) Know what to say and what not to say in public, particularly in social media.  Finance, family issue, and personal matter are things that should keep private they are not part of public property.  (3) Stop the toxicity of Filipino culture of making our children investment.  Living in poor and hard life, securing the better future of your children which is your obligation, while taking are your self is really big challenge.  But you have to do what is your due obligation to your family and your children have to take care their own family, same as how you should have done with your parents.  (4) Stop the curse of debt of gratitude and admonishment.  Saying “if it was not for me you wouldn’t be human, or wouldn’t be where you are, or wouldn’t have made it” will not make better but will just worsen the things.  Your children did not ask you to be born. The children did not choose their parents.  (5) Respect to parents is very important; it will save the values of family.  If we cannot forget what they did that we don’t like while in their roof, then say no to hurt them as respecting them as your parents anyway.  (6) Mother’s love is great; they do everything to protect her children.  But every mother has to know the things that they should not interfere, like choosing the partner.  (7) Girlfriend or boyfriend should not join in family feud.  It is not pleasant to see disrespect at this early where your in-laws relationship is still not sealed.  How much more insinuation can happen when all of you get there?  Wait and let your partner speak for you. (8) And lastly, be humble. Be kind.  Say sorry.  Ask forgiveness.  Talk and fix the broken family.

WE ONLY LIVE ONCE

“We only live once, live life to the fullest”.  I cannot totally agree with this dictum because for many it becomes misinterpreted.  Because their reason “we will live one time, so live to the full”, so you will overdo it like eating whatever they want.  The use of this justification “we will pass on this world one time so we have to enjoy, indulge and get overused of it’ is so popular.  You will only live once so make the most out of it like indulging wine, vices, the bullshit, materialism, relationships, etc.  We will just live in this world once so maximize our life, let us make the most of it.

For me, this should not be literal, instead why don’t you translate it to different take?  We will only live one but not live to the fullest and instead (we will only live once) live life correctly.  To live it to the fullest, maximize your life and make it better like your socialization and your personality.  We will pass on this world once so let us live it rightly.  Do not abuse your body to many different foods because this is what will make your sickness.  Not because we have the capability to buy them doesn’t means we can eat what we want.  There is still limitation because you are what you eat.  If you have an illness it is because of what you ate.  The truth to this matter is that you will eat because you really want to eat delicious foods and not just because you can afford them, thanksgiving, or feeling blessed.  Do not abuse your money.  Not because you have it then you will but every expensive and latest thing because the truth is your worldliness is existing.

We cannot make our life to the fullest because when you get there, you will still feel to want the fullest.  The fullest today will not be the fullest when you get there so you cannot really live to the fullest.  Our happiness and hunger is endless.  We have indulged in silly things but once you've done them you'll still be looking for more to surpass those silly things you did.  You have already eaten at expensive fine dine-in cozy restaurants their delicious lamb, beef, pork chicken and sea foods but you cannot deprive not to eat again these foods to these restaurants because it is already in your taste buds.  You already bought the latest smart phone model but after just few weeks and months, there will be another new model of smart phones so that is what you will aim to buy.  Being child is just once so we will give whatever makes the children happy.

Instead of enjoying so much, why don’t we give it different meaning as mastering, bettering and enhancing our body, personality, spirit, talent, mentality and emotion?  Teach the children how to work hard to get their dreams and not become spoiled brat.  Prefer to eat healthy foods and have work out to make your health your wealth and live without enduring or undergoing serious illness.  Be helpful, empathetic and socialize well so that your personality will become so pleasant to other people.  Be God-centered to make your spiritual personality have the much-needed and most-sought peace of mind.  Cultivate your talent and value your job to become that you may be useful.  Open and broaden your mind, be modest, and ignite your emotion to live up your life.  When you able to do these, you can really say you live your life full, you have come into full circle, or if that is the circle of life may be.  When you able to do these in your life in this world, this is the meaning of you have just live once so live right. 

MINSAN LANG TAYO MABUBUHAY

“Isang beses lang tayo nabubuhay, mabuhay tayo hanggang sa pinakamalaki". Hindi ko ito masang-ayunan nang buong-buo kasi para sa karamihan ay nagiging mali ang pagkakaintindi nila dito. 

Dahil ang katwiran nila ay “minsan ka lang mabubuhay kaya itodo mo na”, kaya gagawin na nila ang sobra at kung ano ang gusto nila tulad ng kainin kung ano ang gusto.  Ginagawa na nila itong dahilan na isang beses lang kasi tayo mabubuhay kaya magpakasaya at magpakasawa na tayo.  Isang beses lang tayo mabubuhay kaya magpakasawa sa alak, sugal, kalokohan, materyalismo, pakikipagrelasyon, atbp.  Minsan nga lang tayo mabubuhay sa mundong ito kaya sulitin natin ang buhay.

 

Para sa akin, ito ay hindi dapat gawing literal.  Bakit hindi mo isalin ibang kahulugan?   “Minsan lang tayo mabubuhay kaya mabuhay tayo nang sulit at todo”.  Ibig sabinin, sulitin at pagandahin mo ang buhay mo tulad ng pakikipagkapwa-tao at pagkatao mo.  Dapat “minsan lang tayo mabubuhay kaya mabuhay tayo nang tama”.  Huwag mong abusuhin ang katawan sa marami at ibat-ibang pagkain dahil iyan ang ikasasakit mo.  Dahil may pambili ka ng pagkain ay kakainin mo na kung ano ang gusto mo?  May limitasyon din dahil kung ano ka ay iyun kasi ang kinakain mo.  Kung may sakit ka ay dahil sa mga kinakain mo.  Ang totoo nito ay kinakain mo ang mga gusto mong kainin hindi dahil isang beses ka lang mabubuhay sa mundo kundi ang totoo ay gusto mo lang talaga ang kumain ng masasarap na pagkain.  Huwag mong abusuhin ang pera mo.  Hindi dahil may pera ka kaya binibili mo ang mga mamahalin at makabagong gamit dahil ang totoo ay umiiral lang ang pagiging makamundo mo at materyalismo mo. 

 

Hindi naman natin magagawa ang itodo ang buhay kasi ang totoo kapag naruon ka na sa sinabi mong todo ay mararamdaman mong wala pa pala at kailangan mo pang itodo.  Ang pinakatugatog ay hindi magiging pinakatugatog na kapag naruon ka na kung kaya hindi mo talaga maisasabuhay ang mabuhay nang todo at sagad.  Walang katapusan ang kasiyahan ng tao.  Nagpakasawa ka na sa kalokohan, pero kapag nagawa mo na yun ay gugustuhin mong lampasan pa ang mga nagawa mong kalokohan.  Nakakakain ka na sa mga sikat na kainan at nakakain mo na ang masasarap na luto ng baka, baboy, manok at isda pero hindi mo na kayang tikisin ang hindi uli kumain ng mga ito dahil iyun na ang pang-lasa na gusto mo.  Binili mo na ang pinakabagong modelo na kagamitan pero makalipas ang ilang araw o buwan lang ay may lalabas ulit na bagong modelo kaya iyun naman ang mas hahangarin mong mabili.  Isang beses magiging bata ang bata kaya ibigay natin sa kanila ang makakapagpasaya sa kanila.

 

Sa halip na pagpapakasaya nang sobra-sobra, bakit hindi mo ito bigyang kahulugan bilang pagpapakadalubhasa, pagpapagaling, at pagpapalakas ng iyong pangangatawan, personalidad, espiritu, talento, mentalidad at emosyon.  Ituro mo sa mga bata kung paano pagsumikapan ang gusto nila upang makamit nila ang kanilang pangarap at hindi sila maging laki sa layaw.  Mas kainin mo ang masusustansiyang pagkain at pagkakaroon ng ehersisyo upang ang kalusugan mo ay maging kayamanan mo at mabuhay ka nang walang iniindang dinaramdam na malubhang sakit.  Maging matulungin at mabuting makipagkapwa-tao ka upang ang personalidad mo ay maging sobrang kaaya-aya sa mga tao.  Maging makadiyos ka upang ang ispirituwal na pagkatao mo ay magkaroon ng pinakaaasam na katahimikan ng pag-iisip.  Linangin mo ang iyong aking-talento at pahalagahan mo ang iyong trabaho upang maging kapaki-pakinabang ka.  Buksan at lawakan mo ang iyong kaisipan at maging mapagpakumbaba at maalab ang damdamin upang maisabuhay mo ang kung ano ang buhay mo at ang buhay mo ay maging sukdulan.

 

Kapag nagawa mo ang mga ito, masasabi mo na naisabuhay mo ang buhay mo nang ganap, at sinapit mo ang kabuuan ng buhay, o ang kabilugan ng buhay man yan.  Kapag nagawa mo ang mga ito sa buhay mo sa mundong ito, ito ang kahulugan ng minsan ka lang mabubuhay kaya mabuhay ka nang kapaki-pakinabang at tama.

ANG IKOT NG BUHAY

Dadaanan natin lahat ang pag-ikot ng buhay.  Iyung magsisimula sa isang alagaing sanggol, palalakihin, mag-aaral, maraming pupuntahan tila pataas ang ating tinutungo.  Magiging napakasigasig, malakas at mapangahas tayo sa ating pag-imbulog, hanghang unti-unti ay mararamdaman natin na tila bumababa na ang ating tinatahak dahil nararamdaman nating humihina na tayo.  Ito ang panahon na nasa pababang kurba na tayo ng pag-ikot ng buhay, hanggang mabuo ang buong bilog ng buhay. Ito ang ikot ng buhay na ating pinagdadanan.

Ilan beses ko na itong naramdaman at muli ko itong naramdaman nitong mga nakalipas na araw dahil sa dalawang insidente.  Una, isang kaibigan ang sinabi sa akin na matanda na raw siya dahil nararamdan na raw niya ang pananakit ng katawan na sa kaunting pagbubuhat lamang ay sumasakit na ang kanyang likod, nababawasan na ang kanyang kayang gawin, malabo na ang mga mata at napapansin niya na nahuhukot na ang kanyang katawan, at tinatanggap na raw niya na hanggang edad kuwarenta’y singko lang ang tugatog ng kanyang lakas.  Nakakalungkot lang isipin dahil kung tutuusin ay bata pa siya para dumating sa pababang bahagi ng ikot ng kanyang buhay, pero siguro ay dahil sa panahon ng kanyang tugatog ay sinagad niya iyun sa pagtratrabaho upang maitaguyod ang kanyang pamilya.

Isang araw naman ay nasumpungan lang na magkita kita kami ng mga dating kasamahan sa trabaho na kumain sa isang ordinaryong kainan, tulad nuon na nagsisimula pa lang kami maging  magkakaibigan, sa simpleng kainan lang ay puwede na sa amin.  Nag-uusap ng mga maliliit at nakakatawang pangyayari sa trabaho at sa paligid, mga walang kwentang bagay at usapan, mga biruan at pagpapatawa lang, ganun lang ay nakakaraos ang oras ng pagsasama-sama namin.  Medyo bata-bata pa kami nuon, kung maging seryoso lang ang usapan kapag tungkol sa mga plano namin sa pamilya.  Nuon ay nag-kape kami, taglamig nuon, ang suot naming mumurahing pangginaw ay tumatagos ang lamig, malamig ang aming mga ilong na parang sa pusa, ngunit ang pagkukuwentuhan namin habang nagkakape ang nagpainit ng taglamig.  At ngayon ngang makalipas ang ilang taon, nagkasundo kami na magkita-kita sa isang hapunan, katulad nuon na sa simpleng kainan lamang, pero ngayon ay hindi na puro biruan ang pinag-usapan namin.  Nasa punto na kami na ang pinag-usapan namin ay ang ramdam namin ang bilis ng buhay at ang pakiramdam na nasa papuntang pababa na bahagi na kami ng pag-ikot ng buhay.  Ang bilis ng buhay, parang kailan lang na mga baguhan pa kami sa lugar na ito at bago pa lang ang aming pagkakaibigan. Ngayon ay natatanaw na namin ang aming patutunguhan.

Umiikot ang buhay, kahit alam na natin ang tungkol sa pag-ikot ng buhay ngunit kapag sumapit ka na sa puntong nararamdaman mong nasa pababang bahagi ka na ng kurba ng bilog ay mararamdaman mong parang wala ka ng alab sa maraming bagay. Mararamdaman mo na parang hindi ka na produktibo, at ipauubaya mo na lang sa mga bata ang nasa kapaligiran mo. Nilingon mo ang nakaraan, marami ka ng nagawa at napapagod ka na.  Ang buhay at ang mundo ay para sa mga bata at kabataan dahil sa kanila umiikot ang mundo at wala silang kapaguran. Sila ang pinag-uukulan ng pansin ng mundo. Sila ang mga masigasig sa buhay, punong-abala sa mga nangyayari, nagtatamasa ng malaking kaganapan sa mundo, pangunahing tauhan sa mga kwento at balita.  Sa kanila umiikot ang mundo.  Nasa kanila ang lahat ng oras, magagawa nila ang kaya nilang gawin dahil napakarami pa nilang oras.  Hindi tulad namin na kalaban na ang oras, kakaunti na lang ang oras, naghahabol na sa oras.

TRAVELING ALONE

No friends, no problem because travelling alone can be good and enjoyable.  It is not lonely to travel alone.  The freedom, flexibility and peace it gives you are different that enough to not to be lonely.  The idea itself is exciting, fulfilling and rewarding.  Besides, the ability of travelling alone is not for all.

Traveling alone is not sad.  The level of independency is so strong, the freedom is just at your side, it will increase your confidence and you definitely like it.  There are the senses of cleverness, courage, and authenticity to yourself and you are definitely overwhelmed of these.

When your plans did not turn as planned, no one will blame or pressure you.  Similarly, when an untoward incident that out of your hands happens, no one will provoke you and add your dismay for the things that you don’t have control.

The joy of traveling alone is the freedom which is the most satisfying feeling of any human can have.  As an independent and reserved person, I really enjoy travelling alone and it is perfectly okay.  When I travel alone, I travel on my terms, on my phase.  The preparation is easier, I can do the approach on my own way which is relatively much easier.  You may not understand but the conveniency is actually high when I only take care of m yself, I am not responsible with any, I don’t need to worry the accompany, and I can spend more with no guilt of pampering myself.  You can have uninterrupted quality time with yourself, go to new or old places where you please, eat when you want and what you want.  Dining alone is not weird.  It is not uncommon as other might imagine.  The downside I see and the only thing I feel sorry about travelling alone is when I cannot give the same good experience of seeing the beauty of the place to the people I love, and if I could add one more is the lack of person to picture me (but I can ask anyone to take me pictures), but the excitement, satisfaction, learnings, and take aways, are the same or could even more.  I should just say it’s my me-time.

Seing traveling solo is not weird, do not put stigma on it.  There is nothing wrong in traveling alone.  Do not too soon to judge negatively when seeing a person travelling or on vacationing alone, because you never know how accomplished feeling that person has, or is even more than you feel.

When reaching to the point of you cannot have someone to go with, or you do not have someone to talk and appreciate the beauty of the place, you don’t have to worry about these because there is something fulfilling in traveling alone than with company.  Lone is truely a freeing feeling and fulfilling.  It doesn’t immediatey means you are lonely.  Sometimes you just need to have on your own, to be yourself, and have that me-time moments.

I SEE SEA

I see sea under the cloudy and gloomy sky,

in the frightening darkness of every night,

in any places there were the real sacrificed.

When the armed beasts resumed to attack,

the helpless preys caught on their shock.

There were screams begging heard around,

then gun shots echoed, blood bursted out.

Heard the cries of the grieving orphaned,

tears were useless for no mercy will grant.

When I see sea of blood, sweat and tears,

I thought of human how cruel go like this.

Corpse were mounted, flood of their bloods,

they were deprived of the second chance.

There was no due process if evil widely reigns,

minions were laughing off the mourners’ pain.

Orphans’ cried not heard and tears not seen,

there was sky but to no sun or moon and stars,

and the sultry day and night burn the scars.

Kill, kill, and kill but main culprits were at large.

What a bloody nightmare of war on drugs.

In these times of hopeless and helpless to speak,

the bereaved are crying justice where to seek.

Now I see sea where in end is bastion in the east,

justice would serve, the unrest would put to rest.

While injustices in humanity live in our space,

I see sea sailing is a ship towards to our place,

and behold until the lost souls will rest in peace.

LEGALIZING MEDICAL MARIJUANA

To know Marijuana is significant because we will be able to know the importance of medical marijuana, the side effects and the advantages/disadvantages.  Marijuana is a greenish-gray mixture of the dried flowers of Cannabis sativa.  The term Marijuana is oftentimes interchangeably with Cannabis, which is the plant genus that is used as a drug.  If Marijuana is from Cannabis sativa which is used as drugs, therefore Marijuana is a drug.  However, Marijuana is not legally used as drugs in many countries like the Philippines because it is dangerous and has highly addictive effects.  Strict prescription is restricted in other countries.  The use of medical marijuana is to relieve serious and chronic symptoms.  Studies report that medical Cannabis/Marijuana is used for depression and anxiety disorder.  It has more than cannabinoid chemicals including cannabidiol and tetrahydorocannabinol which help to manage the stress.  Cannabis also helps seizures, sleep issues, chronic pain, nausea, vomiting caused by cancer treatment like chemotherapy, weight loss, glaucoma, Alzheimer’s disease, and epilepsy to name some.  Because of Cannabis effects like euphoria, mood changes, relaxation, increased appetite, Marijuana is used recreationally.  But since it is not widely approved (but in few countries only) as drug, therefore it is classified as illegal.

Marijuana is considered an herbal medicine.  But because it is not yet approved by BFAD in the Philippines, it is consider illegal that is why it is not openly available in the market, and anything found of using it is considered crime, and nobody wants to be outlaw.  The pending studies are still ongoing whether or not it should legalize.  There is a very long and old debate about Marijuana – the argument is that should it be legalized? And it can be abused if it will legalize.   By late 1800’s, cannabis extracts were sold in pharmacies and doctors offices in Europe and United States to treat stomach problems and other ailment. Dr. Jose P. Rizal even mentioned the illegal opium in Noli Me Tangere, like marijuana, to have the sense of calm and releif of pain  In early 1900S, the United State made the drug illegal due to fear to cause serious threat to public health, and other countries followed.  We are in 2024 now, and with several studies that have made about the use of Marijuana, medical marijuana should be now legalized so that we can serve many patients who badly need the benefits of Marijuana.  Since the early 20^th century, how many people had been suffered in the illness that actually curable/ but we deprived because of illegalization of Marijuana?  And how many more patients will we deprive their suffering and their pains?  And how many suffering patients have died in pain just because we cannot give the cure?  Why we prolong their pain and suffering?  It is more humane to ease the pain rather than worry the abuse of it that we can actually control.  I believe the control can be still imposed by following the pharmacy’s restriction and buy chasing those illegally use it.

Coming up with this discussion is timely and important.  After the COVID-19 pandemic, we became informed and well alert about mental health.  Mental health like anxiety, panic disorder, and depression are difficult to deal with and are not to be ignored.  With the stress management benefits that can get from Cannabis/Marijuana, we should use this to address the serious battle of mental health.  Although it could abuse but then again, that is the reason of strict guidance from medical experts.  Therefore it is essential to disclose that you’re using cannabis to your psychiatrist, primary care physician, and any doctor who prescribes medication to you.  Catriona Grey, a famous Filipina commercial model who clinched the title of a prestigious beauty contest in 2018 said “am for it being used in a medical used but not so for recreational use” when asked her opinion about the legalization of marijuana.  She added that everything is good but in moderation, and I totally agree with her.  Why don’t we give medical marijuana the chance to legally use specially those who have stage-4 cancer?  There are so many people we deprived to live just because Marijuana is illegal.  Why we prolong the suffering of the patients if there is actually cure that is already scientifically proven?  If there are medical studies that say Marijuana cures, then I would be in favor of legalizing medical Marijuana but we should have strict regulation.

GULONG NG BUHAY

Obligasyon, tungkulin at responsibilidad ng mga magulang na pakainin, alagaan, turuan, palakihin, at buhayin ang kanilang mga anak.  Pero ang tanong, obligasyon o responsibilidad ba ng mga anak na tulungan o alagaan ang kanilang mga magulang kapag sila ay matatanda na?  Ang sagot – oo na may mga “kung” at “pero”.  Oo kung kinakailangan, oo pero hindi ipinagpipilitan.  Mayroon bang responsibilidad na boluntaryo lamang?  Meron kasi kung tama ang pag-aalaga at pagpapalaki mo sa kanila, kung ang naituro mo sa kanila ay ung gusto mong ituro, magiging boluntaryo ang kanilang pagtrato sa iyo.  Hindi na ito magiging katanungan kung dapat ba o  hindi kundi kagustuhan, pag-galang at pagmamahal na kaya gagawin nila ang pagtulong/pag-aalaga. Sa totoo lang, depende talaga sa sitwasyon at sa relasyon ng mga anak at magulang.

Bilang magulang, hindi ka nag-asawa at nag-anak para mayroong mag-alaga sa pagtanda mo.  Hindi ka nag-pamilya para sa seguridad mo.  At hindi mo dapat iutos o iobliga ang pagtanaw ng utang ng loob ng iyong mga anak, at huwag mong isumbat ang mga ginawa mo sa kanila dahil unang-una ay trabaho mo iyun, iyun ang dapat mong gawin, at pinili mong iyun ang iyong gawin.  Kasi kung panumumbat din lang naman ay pareho din naman kayong may utang ng loob sa isat-isa.  Hindi mababayaran ang utang ng loob, tulad din ng hindi mo kayang bayaraan ang utang ng loob na ginawa nila nang maging kumpleto ka dahil sila ang bumuo ng iyong pagkatao nang isilang sila.  Ang ipanganak ay hindi utang ng loob sa magulang dahil hindi naman hiniling ng mga bata na ipanganak sila bagkus ay ang mga magulang ang may gusto na magkaroon ng mga anak upang masabing magulang sila.  Kaya nag-aasawa ang mga tao at nag-kakaanak ay upang ituloy ang kabuuan ng ikot ng buhay kaya dapat lang na buhayin nila ang kanilang mga anak.  Nang ikaw ay mag-asawa ay nilisan mo na ang iyong mga magulang para bumuo ng sarili mong pamilya, at ganun din ang dapat mong asahan sa pag-aasawa ng iyong mga anak.  Tayo at tayo din ang magaalaga sa ating mga sarili. Hindi man obligado pero kung kaligayahan ng mga anak mo ang tulungan ka, lingunin ang mga ginawa mong paghihirap, pahalagahan ang mga ginawa mo sa kanila, sa kabila ng nahihirapan man sila sa buhay – iyun ay suwerte na lamang.

Bilang anak, responsibilidad mo ang iyong magulang kasi sino ang mag-aalaga sa mga magulang mo kung ang magulang ng iyong mga magulang ay wala na?  Ikaw na siyang pinakamalapit nilang kamag-anak ang siyang may responsibilidad.  Dito pumapasok ang kagandahang asal at ugali na itinuro sa iyo ng iyong mga magulang.  Bilang ganti at nilalaman ng puso mo, aalagaan at tutulungan mo sila.  Pinalaki ka sa abot ng makakayanan ng iyong mga magulang – yun lang ay dapat mo ng tanawin ng utang na loob at bukas sa loob na pagtulong.  Hindi man dapat isapilitang obligahin ang mga anak na alagaan o tulungan ang kanilang mga magulang  ngunit bilang isang anak ay kailangan mong igalang at kilalanin ang iyong magulang, at bilang isang tao ay tungkulin mo na tulungan ang mga nangangailangan.  Kung iisipin ay hindi na ito dapat umabot sa tanungan kung responsibilidad ba ito dahil hindi na responsibilidad kundi kagustuhan mo na ito kasi umiiral na dito iyung bilang-ganti, paggalang at PAGMAMAHAL kaya gagawin mo ang nararamdaman mo.

Ang lahat ay nasa sitwasyon.  May mga tao na nasasabi nila ngayon na hindi sila aasa sa kanilang mga anak kasi ay may trabaho sila o may pera sila, paano yung mga walang pera at hirap na hirap sa buhay?  Kahit alam na natin sa umpisa pa lamang na hindi natin dapat iasa sa ating mga anak ang ating buhay at paghandaan natin ang ating buhay sa pagtanda natin, paano kung ang lahat ng oras, lakas, at yaman ay naubos para sa mga anak kaya hindi napaghandaan ang kanilang pagtanda?  Paaano naman kung ang kalagayan ng anak ay isa ring hikahos dahil sa pagpapakain, pagpapaaral at pagpapalaki ng sariling mga anak kaya walang kakayahang tumulong?  Tungkulin sana ng pamahalaan na arugain nito ang kanyang mga mamamayan na walang kakayahang alagaan ang mga sarili pero nakakalungkot na hindi ito ramdam sa ating bayan.  Kaya sa bandang huli ay sino pa ba ang magtutulungan kundi tayo-tayo rin mismo.  Hindi na dapat tanungin kung dapat bang tumanaw ng utang ng loob, obligasyon ba o hindi, basta kung may kakayahang makatulong ay gawin na lamang kung ano ang nararapat.

FOOTPRINTS IN THE SAND (As Narrated by Alex Villamayor)

A 2024 Maundy Thursday and Good Friday message:

The message of "Footprints in the Sand" is a personal experience that moved me really big. Years 1998 and prior to 2000 were my lowest and saddest point of my life to the point I planned to change my religion. Jobless, negative savings, friend denied me, family was financially short…. Going to church, praying so hard, and attending some worships but I was still undergoing these difficulties – so I thought of going to other religion because I thought maybe I was addressing my prayers to wrong God.

But I was answered. I was answered in a way that was for me. I like reading short stories and messages, and so God gave me a reading material. I found this short article in a journal that when I saw it, the first sentences I read were exactly written like these: “why are you still looking for me? In times when you are in difficulties, in times when you are in pain, those are the times that I am with you, because I am with you who are crucified on the cross".

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST MISTAKE IN LIFE?

Maybe not mistake but my biggest lesson in life is we should live life to the fullest while still young because while we are getting older, our chance to live it to the fullest becomes slim.  I will not say what I chose to live was a mistake, it was just not the practical and witty choice.  I did not choose the popular choice.   This is the reason I think why I still do not feel I am complete.  Doing to live life to full while we are young, we are learning in life, becoming prudent, and earning wisdom and experiences.  And by the time we are old, we are happy in whatever field we have taken because we are made and happy.  If I pursued what I really wanted when I was young, I think I could have a better, happier and more contented life today.

I was so timid, hesitated, and aloof back in the days.  I was always concerned to considering the other people before I make move or decision.  Will the people like it, or will they be affected?  Will they see my flaws, weaknesses, shortcomings and defects?  Will it hit my personality and me as a whole?  And so I deprived myself to feel free, and I suffered self-esteem.  But as I get older, I have realized I don’t need to always consider the others but love myself first as long as no harming others.  I have learned that I am living for myself and not for the others, that I don’t need their validation, to please everybody, and that the more I get older, the less I become uninterested in proving myself.  But the sad thing is, it’s now quite late doing it.  I should have done it long before.

The older you become, the more likely you cannot do what you want.  At my age now, it looks like I cannot go on all the things I used to do and go into bigger and wider lifestyle.  In attempt now to make my life full and big, I want to catch up the lost chances but the time limits my capacity.  I want to enjoy what life can offer like watching concerts, joining rallies, experiencing competitions, and building great bonding with friends and family but the times and resources are practically running out.  I still want to visit at least ten more destinations on my bucket list because I still cannot get enough but the times tell me to slow down.  I travelled to places during late part of my life because back in younger days I chose to set it aside and instead prioritized to get rich, which apparently did not come true because of circumstances.  I still want to work to earn more but my time now is near to retirement and my adrenalin is exhausting, falling, disappearing.  I still want to acquire assets but how can I bravely pay them if having a decent job is no longer on my side? There is no more time, there is no more chance.

But on the other hand when I look back, how can I live the life to the full if I was unequipped then.  Maybe what it meant to live it to the fullest is to be courageous which I was not.  In life you have to be brave – in the sense of confidence to make the move to change your life.  Be brave to loan if it is good credit.  Be brave to meet strange people and be friend. Be brave to speak with veteran and erudite people to gain knowledge.  Be brave to fall in love again and again.  Be brave to take the risk of leading a group of people. Be brave to commit mistakes to learn the lessons.  Be brave to do what makes you happy, complete, and productive – in a fair way.  Life is short and quick to never leave till tomorrow what you can do today so follow your heart and enjoy life to the fullest.  Do it now, because time will come you will feel uninterested in doing these things that you are keen of doing today, or no matter how much you want it but you have no more time and no longer have the strength to do it.  And no matter what we do, we cannot really go back to the past and redo, correct and restart our life.  There is no rewind, there is no take-two.

Time is always our enemy.  The older we get, the lesser times we can do what we want to do.  We get tired while taking our life’s journey until we get old.  By the time we are old, we’re unable to complete what we have missed to do when we’re young.  Be brave to live life to the fullest responsibly.

LETTING GO

At times when we need to let go of things we have held for a long time.  They could be personal old stuffs that become pile up already, or sentimental things with value that have lost the meaning, let them go for someone may need them more than we do.  Sometimes the meaning of sentimental value becomes deceiving when the very purpose of it doesn’t serve the correct feelings.  Maybe we really don’t need them and we are just on the material than the nostalgic value.

 

Letting go is for immaterial too – emotion, behavior, character.  It could be the feelings of fear, guilt, envy, pessimism, holding grudges that become burden, let them go for our mental heath’s sake.  It could be the unrealistic goals, remorse, trauma or bad memories, and unforgiving that hold us back, let them go for our peace of mind. Get rid of being crazy, unload those personalities and experiences for your fresh start and moving on.

 

And letting go could be a person that needs to let go for good sake.  Family, friendship, colleague; we could be in five, ten, thirteen years together but if the circumstances tell, so be it.  Sometimes even we are in good term with each other for that long, even there is actually no issue between us, we need to accept one of us has to go for the good and we need to be apart because this is what it is called for.

 

It doesn’t mean that we have issue or conflict with the person, and it doesn’t mean we do not care but if it is for betterment and possible good opportunities ahead, that is indeed more than caring so why preempt either anyone or both of us?  It is better let us go because there are opportunities come that we can seize up if we are on our own.  And some people do come and go in our life to shape us and give something to make us better person.

 

Letting each one of us goes doesn’t mean that we will not be in touch anymore.  We are just at a distance and not seeing each other but in reality, there will be continued connection and open communication in between.  To sum these up, it doesn’t mean to let go per se is goodbye, but the beginning of something that needs.

 

And for those relationships that are going through difficult times and still trying to fixing the irresolvable differences, learn the art of letting go.  In relationships that are on the rock, there are things better off if separately.  There are things you can do better if you are on your own.  You are pulling each other down when you are always in contrast and this makes you both preempting your growth.  This is the realization that some people are meant to meet and know each other to be part of their life story but not their destiny.

 

Letting go someone or something you don’t have favorable feeling is easy but on the things you really want to the moon and back is a hard effort. Letting it go is always sad, accepting it is always difficult.  Change is never easy.  We need to learn acceptance.  To accept, we need to understand and understanding is not just knowing what is going on but more than that is agreeing to why it is happening.  Look at the other sides of the story and always put yourself in other’s shoe to come up a fair judgment.  True enough, letting go will make you feel better and easier.  I think this is the art of letting go.