IS IT A FAIR WORLD AFTER ALL?

I want to make believe that all is fair and equal but sometimes I am in doubt if life is really fair. Is there really such thing as just lucky?  Why are there so many who seem to be fully blessed despite of their bad attitude while there are some who have been long striving, suffering and enduring but still trying end meets end.  I really want to believe in a fair world but I cannot understand why I can’t have the convenience that I want.  Am I sinner to deserve this?  Do I have great sins and those people whom I know are not guilty?  I am not in the position to ask these things because I do not know every single thing in someone’s life.  But I am searching answers why some people are well-off while others are not despite persistence, prayers and kindness.

We know it is happening, some people are so lucky earning 1,000% more than the minimum wage earner.  Of course it is maybe because either the nature of work, length of service, competence, works attitude, and yes, good character.  But given that, there are financially lucky despite their unpleasant attitudes and there are unfortunate who struggle so hard in spite of living their life fairly.  Sometimes, it is not just the kind of work, tenure and competency to reward with this hefty sum because in reality there are people who have the same work, same years of working, same skill and most of all kind heart but receiving way below the decent remuneration.  Where is the fair world?  It is difficult to defend for people will say you really do not know what these good and not good people are undergoing.  They will say everything has reasons.

I know some people receiving attracting compensation and benefits yet they are known difficult people or disgusting but they are blessed money-wise.  And I feel it is unfair.  Okay, maybe they are doing hidden great noble things that we (or me) cannot see but the fact I know their unfaithfulness to their spouse or how bad they treat other people or how boastful and conceited they are yet enjoying the perks of well-off, I cannot help but to ask why these people are still lucky and blessed while me who is trying to be honest, help up to my capacity, treat others fairly is not as lucky and blessed as these people?  I am not saying I am the purest heart or less sins, in fact I admit that I have petty sins.  But when I see well-to-do disdainful while I am not, well-to-do politicized people while am not, well-to-do trickster while am not, I can’t help but to feel it unfair.

I should not judge others.  It is not me to say I’m good, kind and the righteous or who is dirty and who is not.  It is not right to speak your own good, and it is not good to compare yourself but then you see yourself and your colleague, I cannot help but to ask why I cannot get the same luck.  It is not to doubt the plan of the God but it is a feeling of assessing yours.  It is not envy or even grudge but a realization, and not to complain but just to express conception.  I am near in an age where getting old is almost at reach so when can I get the abundance that I worked so hard and prayed for long?  When can I enjoy the life of earning as much as those people who are earning double or three times bigger than me?  I’ve got response – “in the right time”.  But I’m about to sign off my career very soon, when is the right time then?  Maybe not destined?  Maybe not meant to be well-off?  Then I feel unfair.

The old saying says the more you earn, the bigger you spend because the more your earnings grow, the more your necessities are.  Does it mean these people need to earn big to keep family’s big maintenance, children’s pay in exclusive school, huge bank obligation, and etcetera?  But these are their choices.  And it says too that whatever we need will be given and if not it means we do not need them.  This hanged a question in my mind that if what only given is what we need only, it concluded me to think of those unfortunate deprived to experience materials of life that only selective well-off can enjoy.  Why not both equally experience such thing?  In real talk are people receiving much higher than us, not just much higher but really so much higher, and we know we’re just the same except their nasty attitude.