YOUNG LOVE (True Love Indeed)

Children fall in love too.  At the young age of 10 (or even younger for some), children attract to their opposite sex, whether it is due to the appearances, behaviour, intelligence or talent but the bottom line is these are all under the feeling of admiration.  I am not excused, I think I felt in love at the age of 10 with this very smart girl who was at the same age.  She was the type of girl who was known in the school because she was pretty and smart.  During those times, I felt happiness every time I saw her or even when I just heard her name.  Call it crush for it may be a child’s moment but I knew then I really liked her.  There were even days I stalked her on her way to her home, just happy to know where she homes and the feeling was really so good.  Just knowing her home is like winning already.  But it was just like that, for how many years I was just happy and enough to see her, sometimes follow her way to home.  I didn’t need to let it known or ask a reciprocate.  But it was good. 

And this did not last long.  I was at the age of 12 when a neighbour friend informally introduced me to her very pretty classmate who is year younger but standing taller than me (female usually grows faster than male).  I was a poor school boy who doesn’t care in grooming, and obviously our first meet was nothing to the girl just like ordinary seeing ordinary unknown person.  But for me, I had already something because prior to that moment, I have already heard her name.  She was in the higher section, the muse of their class and the ultimate crush of the boys in the school, she was really beautiful.  I was a kid who was so plain, no new uniform, with dark skin like a street kid.  So with these features and at my young age then, I was aloof and was even shy to talk and express about my admiration to her.  For two years in my intermediate years, I have enough settled to be inspired by her beauty.  I have enough with the feeling of being in love.  And by the way, I was so happy to hear they’re singing my name in a cheerful song (a song where different names were substitute) during Friday girl scout class because by mentioning my name in the song, I felt she know me.

Until I experienced for the first time the heart break.  I felt then the pain of parting when I have to go to other school as a high school while she had to finish her intermediate year.  At an early age, I learned how it felt like a broken hearted, like there is no more reason to be happy, to make me happy.  It was hard without seeing the person whom you enjoyed to see for the last two years.  And it even added to the injury the worry of the possibility of her attending to other school.  For one year of not seeing her, I did not change and I knew then, it was not just a simple feeling but I realized it was true love.  Until I got back on my feet again on the following year when I’d learned that she enrolled in the same school.  Funny but I believed we’re meant to destine.  As sophomore students and as teenagers, the feelings towards the opposite sex is vocal and I felt bad to hear some of my classmates were attracted to her – feeling jealous but I keep admiring her.

So I lived each day as it is.  During the first few months as freshman, I peeped in their class room during their math subject, she recited the table of eight of the multiplication table.  She became popular in the school because of her charm.  She became a campus crush, she played the Virgin Mary, participated in school programs.  While she was rising like a superstar, I was left behind looking up on her, alone and in pain.  With her charm, it was hurting to hear those courting boys because I knew they were just after her charm while me, I am sure my admiration and affinity are for real.  But it was even more hurting to hear her high school crushes.  I saw in slum book who was her crush, then year later I heard her new crush.  These were blow in me but then I have to accept them.  I was a person who accepted my looks that no teenager will get crush on me.  But learning that those men are par better than me, it really despaired me especially during those years that I had building self-pity and bitterness in my life, in myself.  I sent cards and letters, my sister helped me when she knew that I was still in-love to the girl after those years since elementary, but not sure if the cards and letters reached to her hand.  But then again, I let each day and year passed secretly loving her even more deeply and true.  Right now she is happily married and I am contented to remain single.  She may say she found her true love but me, I would say I had the great love yet not meant to be taken.  Why I did not bother to approach her?  Because I knew myself very well that I am not deserved and am afraid of my imperfection.

Aside from adventure and life's first thing's firsts, one of the best things about teenager's life is falling in love.  Maybe puppy love as the elders call it but young love may be true love indeed.  Whether it is the first, last, sad, tough, failed or even for fun, all of them say it is so nice to fall in love and it keeps our days going.