As self-expression, I would like to cite my thought without intending to get intrude in a dispute that involves my friend and his group. True, pen and words are sharper than sword, everyone must be careful when using words in writing because we do not know the implication it might imply until our attention were called. Writing messages need right words and right timing to avoid misinterpretation.
Based from the exchange of words that have surfaced in their electronic mail, my sympathy goes to my friend not because he is an obvious friend but because of I’ve read their conversation. However I would say my friend had fault at first when he sent an offhand message though according to him it was written with satirical jest but not meant to offend or embarrass anyone. He added that he made the message in good faith and had no intention of tarnishing anyone’s reputation but rather uplift the concern of the group. Nevertheless, the message was still divisive and inappropriate as joke that should not have written in the first place.
It all started here: believing that he was within the boundaries of his right to share opinion as member of their group and as their group’s norm practice and important concern, my friend had sent message requesting an update be provided to every member, be it paying member or not. That last phrase on the short message has earned lot of negative criticism and judgmental reaction. And what’s depressing here is that in his just one statement, tens offensive responses are in his group wherein the pinnacle of it is lambasting one’s personality that can dwells personal character which are out on the real issue.
Although my friend started the mess which he is admitting, however other persons have even spread the mess by using harsh, unfair and insulting words that my beleaguered friend has experienced and maligned his personality. I understand the lament of other people about the negative impression of the message but the fire-back of other people is so harsh, hurtful and damaging, and I don’t think it is worth to slam someone’s personality. Reading the thread of their messages, I found the more derogatory, blatant, harmful and inappropriate words were written not from my friend.
Remarks like saying to surmise the thought of “seemed to be good has turned unpleasant” is quite unfair. Much more to say that “once garbage always be a garbage” is very cruel and judgmental. Even saying “stand whatever said be it right or wrong” is an autocratic and prejudiced, you can be authoritative but not dictatorial – it’s unbecoming of the stature. Now, reading all those hurtful slurs on the course of their conversation, I think the nastiness of my friend during his earlier message is quite bearable than the screaming of the overconfident, diplomacy claimant and judgmental that seems to appear more illustrious or towering, conceited, arrogant, rude and irresponsible. I would say there is thin line between of being straightforward and grumpy.
If only those people will know what my friend is going through, I’m sure they will understand him. But since their mutual knowledge is not on personal level, no one will really know what caused him to write the message. But for me, it will not get worse if everyone will just focus on the real issue and it would be proper and appropriate if all replies will be relative to the issue.
In a nutshell, politeness is everyone’s responsibility when sending message through e-mail. You have to consider the reaction of the recipient. In this fast-paced time where words can be easily and quickly transmitted, one must be careful in writing messages because once the harm has done, it will leave reminding mark on the relationship.
By Alex V. Villamayor
March 20, 2012