TEAM-KABUTIHAN vs TEAM-KASAMAAN

Sino ba ang tunay na mga dakila at mapapalad? Ikaw na ordinaryong tao na nakikipaglaban sa buhay nang patas kahit parang marami ang nangyaring hindi gusto kaysa gusto, walang malaking tagumpay sa trabaho, hindi katalinuhan, hindi makatulong nang lubos pero maawain o mapagparaya, galit sa katiwalian; ano kaya ang naghihintay na gantimpala sa iyo? Iyung ibang mga tao na malaki, malakas, at makapangyarihan na nagpapakasasa sa mga kagandahan sa mundo, ano kaya ang kahihinatnan nila?

At kapag mayroong mga nahayag na krimen ng mga naghahari-hariang politiko o mayayamang tao, napaisip ka kapag dumating ang paghuhusga, bigla ay nagpapasalamat ka sa iyong sarili dahil ang nararamdaman mo ay hindi ka naging ganuon kasamang tao.

Ikaw vs sila na may mga anomalya ng bilyong kinurakot, sino ang may malaking kasalanan?

Ikaw vs mga taong sumusuporta sa kanila kaya lalong lumalakas ang mga ganitong politiko, sila na ginagawang normal ang mga mali, sila na ang mga kasalanan ng politiko ay binabale-wala dahil sa sobrang pagsuporta dito, sino ang mas mapalad at sino ang huhusgahan ng kaparusahan?

Mga taong sobrang nakakalula ang yaman na nakuha sa illegal na paraan at nabubuhay sa kaluhuan. seguridad, at oportunidad habang kaya nilang paglaruan ang buhay ng kanilang kapwa, o kahit kumitil ng buhay ng iba, paano sila pagdating ng paghuhukom?

Ikaw vs mga maambisyosong makuha ang mga pangarap sa kahit anong paraan, mga tao na nanlamang,  nagpagamit sa bulok na sistema upang marating lang ang itaas at pangunguna, sino ang mas may kapatanagan ang isip? Iyung sobrang yaman na tao na ang trato sa sarili ay mataas at malakas, sino ang tatawag ng habag at magmamakaawa ng kapatawaran?

Ikaw vs mga tao na sa katalinuhan ay nakakapanakit ng damdamin ng kapwa, parang perpekto kung makapuna o makapanira ng kapwa, at kung makapilit ng katwiran, kagustuhan at kaalaman ay parang laging tama, sino ang mas makasalanan at mas parurusahan?

Ikaw vs mga tao na isang kagalingan ang pakiramdam kapag nagkakaroon sila ng higit sa isang karelasyon nang sabay, isang bawal na relasyong itinatago, o ipinagmamalaki ang bilang ng mga nakarelasyong dumaan sa buhay at ang pakikipag-ulayaw ay ginagawang masayang karanasan lamang. anong kaparusahan ang naghihintay sa kanilang kamunduhan?

Sila vs tayo - ako din ay makasalanan; nakakapagsinungalin at nakakakuha ako ng hindi sa akin, at may mga pagkakataon na hindi din nagiging patas sa pagtrato ng kapwa. Hindi ako relihiyoso, hindi matuwid na tao na itinatama ang mga nakikitang nagkakamali, hindi marunong mangaral sa kapwa pero pinaninidigan ang huwag makapanakit, mang-argabiyado at magpahamak sa pakikipagkapwa-tao. Kapag nakakita ako ng taong gumagawa ng mali ay ayaw kong kampihan dahil hindi ko gugustuhin ang mapunta sa team-kasamaan. Sino ang dakila, sino ang mapalad, sino ang ang tunay na mas makasalanan?

MABUTING PAKIKIPAGKAPWA-TAO

Kapag nagmumuni-muni tayo, maaaring marami sa atin ang ipinalalagay ang sarili na mabuti tayong tao dahil araw-araw tayong nagdadasal at sumasamba sa Diyos, tumutulong sa ating kapwa, walang pineperwisyong tao, sumusunod sa batas, at wala tayong kinikitil na buhay ng ating kapwa. Pero kung iisipin mo na ganito lang ba kadali, sumasagi sa isip natin na tanungin natin ang ating sarili kung nakatitiyak ba talaga tayo na mabuti tayong tao. Baka naman kasi tayo lang ang nag-iisip pero ang totoo sa palagay ng ibang tao ay hindi.

Hindi ka ba nagsisinungalin at nagkakalat ng mga pekeng balita at maling inpormasyon na katumbas na rin ng kasinungalinan? Oo, wala ngang buhay na inutang ang iyong mga kamay pero bakit gusto mong mamatay sa kamay ng ibang tao ang mga taong kinamumuhian mo tulad ng mga makasalanan at kriminal? Maaaring mabuti kang ama o ina pero ikaw naman ay sangkot sa bawal na pakikipag-relasyon. Hindi ka nga politiko pero ang mga ginagawa mong pang-oopinyon upang pagtawanan, masira, at magdusa ang taong hindi mo gusto ay gawain ng mga nagkukuwentuhan ng buhay ng may buhay na nahuhusgahan at nakakasira ng tao, hindi ba makasalanan ka sa lagay na yan?

Mahirap magpakabait. Ang mga hindi mo namamalayang maliliit na ginagawa mo tulad ng pangungutya, paninira pag-ganti, pamimintang at pangmamaliit sa kapwa ay mga maling gawain at mahirap alisin. Ang sabi ay basta't gumawa ka lang ng mabubuti sa iyong kapwa pero ang totoo ay napakalawak ng kahulugan ng "mabubuti" na ito. Kaya mo ba ang maging mabuting samaritano na gumagawa ng mga bagay nang walang kapalit kahit ang mga iyon ay sa estranghero? O ang kagustuhan ng puso at isip mo ay tumulong sa mga nangangailangan at tumugon sa mga kinakailangan pero wala kang kakayahan.

Ang totoo ay may mga pangyayaring hindi buong-buo sa kalooban ko ang pagtulong dahil laging naruon ang malaking pangamba na ako ang mawalan kapag ako naman ang nangailangan. Ang totoo pa ay nakararamdam ako ng karamutan kapag hindi ako nakatulong dahil ang dahilan ko ay nagduda ako kung dapat bang tulungan ang tao dahil baka balak lang ako nitong lokohin, baka kinukunsinti ko lang siya kapag tinulungan ko, o baka sa pagtulong ko ay lalo ko siyang ginagawang mahina. Hindi sa kapag ayaw ay maraming dahilan pero gusto ko tumulong kaya lang ay naiisip ko ang mga ito. At iyung maliliit na pagsisinungalin at pag-angkin ng hindi sa akin, kung ito ay sukatan ng marangal at hindi - masama na ba ako?

Alam mo gumagawa ka ng kabutihan pero mayroon kang mga kamalian. Kung totoo naman na wala akong inaargabiyadong tao, nakikipaglaban ako sa buhay ng patas, hindi nanghahamak, nagpapahamak, at nanghuhusga ng kapwa pero ang pagkakamali ko ay tiwali sa pangkaraniwan ang aking pagmamahal, makasalanan na ba akong tao? Lalo na kung ang pag-iisipan lang ay mabuti o masama - walang nasa gitna parang langit o impiyerno na walang sa gitna, saan ako mapupunta?

Madali ang maging tao pero mahirap ang magpakatao. Napakahirap maging mabuting tao dahil sa mundo na puno ng tukso, kalupitan, at kahirapan ay masusubok ang pinili mong kapasyahan at malalaman ang totoo mong katatagan.

KAANO-ANO KO SI NORA AUNOR?

Simula nang mag-aral ako, kapag tinatanong ako ng mga guro ko kung ano ang aking pangalan ay kasunod agad niyon ay kaano-ano ko daw si Nora Aunor. Bilang isang bata ay wala akong maisagot. Tuloy-tuloy at walang palya ito tuwing kabubukas ng eskwela at kailangan magpakilala ang mga estudiyante. Hanggang mag-kolehiyo ako ay dala-dala ko ang ganitong tagpo tuwing kailangan kong sabihin o nabanggit ang aking apelyido.

Ang pagkakaalam ko lang ay taal na taga-Angono ang mga Villamayor. Malaki ang angkan na ito at kalat sa aming sinaunang bayan. May mga panahon nuon na basta kumandidato sa aming bayan ang isang Villamayor ay mananalo dahil sa dami nito at sa impluwensiya na rin. Ilan sa mga naging alkalde namin, kapitan at mga konsehal ay mula sa angkan ng mga Villamayor kaya kilala ang aking apelyido sa aming bayan. Nakakaramdam pa ako nuon ng "pagka-yabang" kapag may nilalakad ako sa aming munisipyo at kapag nagsusulat ako ng aking pangalan sa papel ay may pagmamalaki kong iniaabot yun sa tauhan ng munisipyo dahil iniisip ko na iisipin ng tao na yun na kamag-anak ako ni Mayor.

Pero si Nora Aunor, kaano-ano ko nga ba? Kaapelyido, iyun na lang ang isinasagot ko. Malamang ay magkamag-anak kami ngunit hindi ko yun sinasabi dahil hindi ko alam kung paano kami naging magkamag-anak.

Ayon sa kasaysayan, sinasabi na ang apelyidong Villamayor ay nagmula sa salitang Espanyol "Villa" na ang ibig sabihin ay 'lumang bahay', at "Mayor" na ang ibig sabihin ay mga naunang tao o lider. Ayon sa mga matatandang miyembro ng angkan, ang mga Villamayor ay nagmula sa rehiyon ng Bicol. Dahil sa paghahanap ng oportunidad at pagbuo ng pamilya, nakarating sila sa Quezon Province (Mauban, Quezon) at Angono, Rizal. Ang sikat na Pambansang Alagad ng Sining na si Nora Aunor ay isang Nora Cabaltera Villamayor sa totoong buhay na mula sa Iriga City.  

Wala akong muwang sa usaping-artista nuong pumaimbulong nang napakataas ang karera ni Nora Aunor, bagamat naririnig ko ang pangalan niya sa mga usapan at ang kanyang mga sikat na tagalog na kanta sa radyo. Dahil na rin sa popularidad niya sa panahon na yun ay madalas naiuugnay sa kanya ang aking apelyido. Oo, may kaunting tuwa akong nararamdaman dahil kilala pala ng ibang tao ang aking apelyido. Hanggang duon lang ang aking naging pagkakaalam. Hanggang siya ay namaalam na ngayon, unti-unti ay lumalabas ang mga kaalaman na dapat ko pala talaga ikarangal na magka-apelyido kami. Ang kanyang ambag sa industriyang kanyang ginagalawan at sa lipunan, ang mga parangal na natanggap, at ang kababaang-loob at mapagbigay na pagkakakilala sa kanya na iniwan niyang pamana sa ating mundo. Ngayon, naiisip ko na magkalayo man ang aming kinagisnan at kinalakihan, hindi ko na kailangan malaman kung paano ba kami naging magka-apelyido dahil higit sa ano pa man, ang pagiging payak na tao ang nagiging pagkakakilanlan ng aming pagiging magkamag-anak. At hindi man ako naging marunong kumanta may magkaparehong dugo na nananalaytay sa amin. Iyun ay ang aming natural na talento sa larangan ng sining, ito man ay musika, pagpipinta, at pagsusulat.

credit to Mr. Ding Villamayor's facebook from Los Banos Laguna para sa apat na pangungusap na ginamit.

FLYING IN BUSINESS CLASS

For a change I stepped up one of my flights via Philippine Airlines and it was my first time to book in a significantly expensive business class flight. For once, I would like to experience to fly with a real "very important person treatment". My VIP experience started in the check-in counter when I had the priority check-in amidst of the long queue. It was comfortable without long waiting my turn to off load my luggage. The boarding time was opened at 6:20 PM but I availed my perk to embark on the plane on my preferred time. I passed through a separate entry going to my seat, a friendly cabin crew welcomed me and brought me to the assigned seat for me. A fairly small but cozy and spacious area appeared before me, few seats but comfortable and bigger angled seats with more legroom. Though I was not in my favorite spot via window seat, but I really liked the single seat with aisles on both sides and I felt the privacy on the layout of each seat. I was able to stretch my legs, my feet were wearing soft slippers, and I inclined my seat into bed for a while. A small onboard blue flight amenity kit pouch bag was handed out to the passengers, I did not open mine. Though I did not need the available head set for free, from the beginning I already felt the extra care treatment.

When the cabin crew advised me that the dinner and breafast will be served during the course of 9-hour flight, I took the chance to make food review for an in-flight meals. The first serving was the appetizer at around 1 hour after take-off. For my appetizer  I went with Tabbouleh and hummus with lime, lettuce, vine leaves, thinly sliced tomatoes, and mixed nuts on the side. As usual I opted with the fresh orange juice. The flight was from Middle East origin so an Arabian set-up like this was a nice starter. I'd tasted that pungent bitter from crushed parsley and peppery mint in Tabbouleh. Their strong taste is perfect with tangy taste of creamy hummus squeezed with lime. The cheakpeas of hummus balanced the potent tastes. The blanched vine leaves are just ideal to mix with fresh and crunchy lettuce and tomatoes. I cannot say special on it because I am not familiar what are in Middle Eastern foods.

It was a multicourse jeal, the dinner main course was served next. Chicken, beef, and fish were the choices, I chose Beef Roulade for my main course. It was served with asparagus, carrots and potato wedges. I am not a fan of beef but I must say I liked the roasted beef was tenderly done. The sweet-spicy brown souce added a dramatic taste in every spoonful. The asparagus, potato and carrots were saute'ed in olive oil seasoned with peppermint and salt, they were crunchy and good to go their switness with that juicy roasted beef. Honestly I like the meal, though I did not take a shot of wine, it was indeed a nice dinner in the sky.

The breakfast was served after about six hour onboard. For breakfast, I chose omelet. It was served with roasted muchroom, potato and tomatoes. On the side were banana crepe rolls, fruits, and honey. I didn't really like much the omelet; it was kind of moist I think the cheese made it. And I did not eat the mashed banana and mango in yogurt because I don't like the sour savor taste of a fermented milk. But the crepes and fruits salad with sugar syrup were remarkable for me. And yes, a black coffee was next, perfect to balance all those aftertastes and feel relax while enjoying Mabuhay magazine aboard while resting my feet in a spacious leg room  and will touch down in few hours more.

I had the time to open the emenity kit at home. There were two toiletries, moisturizer, a comb with brush, toothbrush and toothpaste, sleeping mask, and sock. All in all, I am pleased with PAL treatment experience and as well as their onboard menu. It was simple, light, and balance, and I am simply basic anyway. The perks of flying business class with Philippine Airlines, defenitely it was a pleasant long nine-hour flight. I wish I could fly once more to take again the edge of a pleasant journey.

KUNG WALA KA NG MGA MAGULANG

Kapag ang mga magulang mo ay nawala na, ang lahat ay hindi na magiging tulad ng dati. Kapag wala ka ng ama at ina, hindi na ikaw ang dating anak na may magulang. Kapag wala na sila, saka mo pa lang malalaman kung gaano mo sila kailangan. Wala ka ng uuwian na ama at ina upang bilang anak ay may mapagmanuhan , makita, makausap o kahit mahingan ng tulong. Kapag naulila ka na, hahanap-hanapin mo ang kalinga sa anak ng isang totoong magulang kasi lahat tayo, kahit tumanda na tayo ay mayroon pa ring nabubuhay na isip-bata, kilos-bata, at damdaming-bata sa ating kaloob-looban.

Mararamdaman mo ang pangungulila ng walang ina at ama, iyung may kulang sa buhay kasi wala ng magbibigay sa iyo ng mga paalala, pagkalinga,  proteksiyon, at payo mula sa isang ina o ama na tanging sila lang ang kayang magsalita o mabigay. Kahit may katuwang ka na sa buhay o kasamang mga kaibigan, iba pa rin ang pamamaraan ng pagsasabi ng mga paalala, payo, puna, at pag-puri kapag nanggaling sa mga magulang mo.  Dahil kapag galing sa kanila, walang pagkukunwari at pag-aatubili kundi purong pag-aalala at pagmamalasakit.

Mayroon man kayong mga naging samaan ng loob, pagtatalo, hindi pagkakaunawaan, at hindi pagkakasundo, hahanap-hanapin mo pa rin sila kasi alam mong hindi mo na sila makikita at makakausap kahit kaylan. Kahit may galit ka sa iyong ina o ama,  kapag nawala na sila ay mapapalitan ng pang-unawa ang galit sa puso mo. Kahit may ginawa pa sila na para sa iyo ay mali, kapag sila ay pumanaw na ay saka mo maiisip na mapapatawad mo naman pala sila dahil hindi na ninyo mapag-uusapan pa ang inyong isyu.

Ang totoo, ang magulang mo lang ang kayang magmahal sa iyo nang totoo. Kahit binigyan mo sila ng problema at sama ng loob, hindi ka nila kayang tikisin at paulit-ulit ka nilang patatawarin. Kahit mayroon kang ginawang mali, ano pa man ang hitsura  mo, ano pa man ang hindi mo magandang ugali, kahit ano ka pa, sa bandang huli kahit may mas mabuting anak ng iba ay pipiliin pa rin nila ang kanilang anak. Kung minsan pa nga ay kahit alam nilang hindi dapat dadamayan at papanig pa rin sila sa iyo. Hindi talaga kayang tikisin ng magulang ang mga anak dahil sa kanila sila nanggaling. Nakikita mo sila na kinagagalitan ka, pero kapag hindi na kayo magkaharap ay hindi mo na nakikita kung paano sila nasaktan sa kanilang ginawa, hindi mo na nakikita na umiiyak sila, at hindi mo na alam na ipinagdarasal ka pa rin nila.

Kasi sa totoo lang, kaya ng anak na magsalita ng masakit sa magulang kaysa sa mga kaibigan na kayang layuan siya kapag nasaktan. Pero ang magulang, hindi nila gugustuhin ang layuan nila ang kanilang anak kahit nasasaktan  sila. Lalu na ang isang ina, natural sa kanya ang paulit-ulit na patawarin ang anak upang hindi ito lumayo sa kanya, dahil bahagi at kadikit ng katawan niya ang kanyang anak na pinag-hiwalay nang ipanganak niya ito.

Pero kapag nawala na sila, kahit ano pa ang gawin mo ay hindi mo na magagawa ang mga gusto mo sanang ginawa ang hindi mo ginawa at nagawa. Ang mga gusto mo pa sanang gagawin na hindi mo na magagawa. At kahit alam mong pinagsilbihan mo sila, kahit alam mo na may ginawa ka para sa kanila ay makakaramdam ka pa rin ng pagkukulang mo na sana ay mas ginawa mo ang ganito, o ang ganun. Ang lahat ng ito ay gusto mong gawin upang makabawi ka pero hindi na puwede. At mararamdaman mo ang mga panghihinayang na sana ay ginawa mo ang mga gusto mong gawin sa kanila. At makakaramdam ka ng mga pagsisisi dahil hindi mo na magagawa ang mga iyun.

PASCAL IN A WORLD FULL OF PERFECT BOSS

A new Chief Operating Officer (COO) has assumed the office. Pascal, a full-pledge hardworking staff in the office warmly welcomed the COO but lukewarm reception was received. Maybe the COO is a man of few words, so he did not give pessimism the space to sprout. At first there were moments of testing the water to know the right approach of working with the COO although Pascal knew he was a better himself to start off. After three days, clueless what is bound to happen, the surprised Pascal received unexpected remarks from the COO. "You are slow. There is something not good in your brain" and he meant it. Embarrased and felt small, Pascal a reticent by nature, his reaction was fluid that he did not reply back but offered apology as the essential right thing to do.

When he returned to his workspace, feeling down and repeatedly asked himself of what has happened. He knows he is not the best in the batch and petty mistakes in the job are normal to happen but to accuse him during the so called adjustment period is quite unfair. Being the pro-active person who defenitely not used to mount backlog as much as he can and doesn't sit his work, to label him slow is really heartbreaking. That started him to doubting if he was really good enough and he even regretted whatever sacrifices he had done for the job. The feeling was mental health sign that affected him so real in thinking how much more efforts should he must put on so as not to be called slow. That day was the longest eight hours workday all throughout to getting home. It disturbed him all-night long that he did not get good sleep and resulted him to have bad morning.

In spite of this, Pascal had the way to accept it. It was not the COO per se that made him hurt but the hurtful remarks of that COO. Whether or not Pascal's feeling is valid, it is not his first concern now because it has been done. Let bygones be bygones. Besides, whoever is right doesn't matter anymore. It is not who is right and who is wrong but it is to be kind rather than to be right. Be tolerant. It is not sign of weakness but it is sign of big heart. It is better to be kind than right because being right is just in our mind while kindness is what in our heart. Being right gives you the proud moment while on the other hand choosing kindness has deeper and long-lasting sense of achievement. Above and beyond, when you are right doesn't always means you will never go wrong because your truth may not their truth.

In a world full of perfect boss, Pascal is methaphor to many of us who accepts the bitter pills to swallow, the sad reality of a submissive staff to his unapologetic boss because of the needs to work hard to live decently. He represents us who bites the bullet and learning life the hard way. A boss is a boss, let us give it to him and maybe Pascal was just too sensitive. First impression is not always the last nonetheless and time is the ultimate thruth teller. Soon, his worth will be known and appreciated. Not speaking yourself is not to say suppressing your expression or holding back the truth is correct but if you chose to reserve yourself in that too early to talk, things could be blown out of proportion otherwise.

THE GOOD NEWS AND THE BAD NEWS

The historic gold win of Carlos Yulo in Olympic was overwhelmingly rejoiced and celebrated by many Filipinos.  Why not, it was country’s honor to witness Philippines big win in the greatest show on earth.  And people were in high ecstasy, uttering this usual Pinoys’ “proud” often being told left and right in social media.  And suddenly the rift between the mother and son was noticeably unearthed to the public.  In this age of social media, there are so many things that netizens can have so much ways to find, see and speak easily.

 

People will not really know that there is ongoing family feud among family members particularly the mother and son if not because of human’s habit of speaking out on social media of what we want.  It was actually unknown to many.  Most people are actually unaware of this family issue not until the headline of the son’s winning gold in the Paris Olympics just right after the unsupportive mother’s sarcastic shared of thoughts in her social media account.  This is the closest timeline of this family quarrel to this headline.  The mother’s statement that many people found it not in good taste.  And because of that, people got curious and then had discovered that there is conflict between the two because of the searched old shared opinion, hints and insinuations found in social media.  And these are what have exposed: the son was disowned, there is issue of children investment, and saddest thing is there is involved money.

 

It's family matter, the members of the family should actually refrain to broadcast their sides to save themselves.  It is not defending who is right and wrong.  It is not nice washing dirty linens in public.  But because there are people want to share what they know, what is their side, and how good they are, and so the mother made statement to clear herself and be heard again her side – this should not take place actually.  Then the girlfriend who was accused of bad influencing the boy friend has made her own share to the issue which should not take place too.  And so the brother shared good message to his brother, slightly hinted about the feud, and encouraged his brother to have family conversation, which all these things from the beginning can be done privately.  And then finally the son shared video about what surrounding his family’s relationship, lessons from what have transpired and forgiveness to those who sin.  He could have done better by just saying sorry to those hurt or just by staying quite.

 

If everyone has just learned the wisdom of having less talk less mistake principle, this whole saga of family drama will not be unfold to the public.  This will not come to this huge magnified family affair if everyone has just learned to keep quiet and did not bring it to social media, newspapers, and the press conference.  That prescon is really not needed – the tears, the emotion, the drama; the interviews to the father, mother and children; good messages and show of love to each other – all this are not pleasing to many.  The family is not that big, why don’t just talk all of these privately?  After the prescon, do we think it will stop from there?  This can actually cause another or bigger issue based on what have said in the prescon.  No matter what happen, people will always say something.  Tens of thousands people are watching, there and there will be in favor and against, there will be no unanimous.  Recently, the family of the girlfriend defended theirs.

 

The good news: a dream has come true, a hardship has paid off, and the honor of the country was recognized.  And the bad news, a family is breaking.  Now, what can we learn from this?  Take these lessons: (1) know when is the right time to talk, to listen, and to keep silent.  The ore you talk the more chances of mistakes and questions.  (2) Know what to say and what not to say in public, particularly in social media.  Finance, family issue, and personal matter are things that should keep private they are not part of public property.  (3) Stop the toxicity of Filipino culture of making our children investment.  Living in poor and hard life, securing the better future of your children which is your obligation, while taking are your self is really big challenge.  But you have to do what is your due obligation to your family and your children have to take care their own family, same as how you should have done with your parents.  (4) Stop the curse of debt of gratitude and admonishment.  Saying “if it was not for me you wouldn’t be human, or wouldn’t be where you are, or wouldn’t have made it” will not make better but will just worsen the things.  Your children did not ask you to be born. The children did not choose their parents.  (5) Respect to parents is very important; it will save the values of family.  If we cannot forget what they did that we don’t like while in their roof, then say no to hurt them as respecting them as your parents anyway.  (6) Mother’s love is great; they do everything to protect her children.  But every mother has to know the things that they should not interfere, like choosing the partner.  (7) Girlfriend or boyfriend should not join in family feud.  It is not pleasant to see disrespect at this early where your in-laws relationship is still not sealed.  How much more insinuation can happen when all of you get there?  Wait and let your partner speak for you. (8) And lastly, be humble. Be kind.  Say sorry.  Ask forgiveness.  Talk and fix the broken family.

WE ONLY LIVE ONCE

“We only live once, live life to the fullest”.  I cannot totally agree with this dictum because for many it becomes misinterpreted.  Because their reason “we will live one time, so live to the full”, so you will overdo it like eating whatever they want.  The use of this justification “we will pass on this world one time so we have to enjoy, indulge and get overused of it’ is so popular.  You will only live once so make the most out of it like indulging wine, vices, the bullshit, materialism, relationships, etc.  We will just live in this world once so maximize our life, let us make the most of it.

For me, this should not be literal, instead why don’t you translate it to different take?  We will only live one but not live to the fullest and instead (we will only live once) live life correctly.  To live it to the fullest, maximize your life and make it better like your socialization and your personality.  We will pass on this world once so let us live it rightly.  Do not abuse your body to many different foods because this is what will make your sickness.  Not because we have the capability to buy them doesn’t means we can eat what we want.  There is still limitation because you are what you eat.  If you have an illness it is because of what you ate.  The truth to this matter is that you will eat because you really want to eat delicious foods and not just because you can afford them, thanksgiving, or feeling blessed.  Do not abuse your money.  Not because you have it then you will but every expensive and latest thing because the truth is your worldliness is existing.

We cannot make our life to the fullest because when you get there, you will still feel to want the fullest.  The fullest today will not be the fullest when you get there so you cannot really live to the fullest.  Our happiness and hunger is endless.  We have indulged in silly things but once you've done them you'll still be looking for more to surpass those silly things you did.  You have already eaten at expensive fine dine-in cozy restaurants their delicious lamb, beef, pork chicken and sea foods but you cannot deprive not to eat again these foods to these restaurants because it is already in your taste buds.  You already bought the latest smart phone model but after just few weeks and months, there will be another new model of smart phones so that is what you will aim to buy.  Being child is just once so we will give whatever makes the children happy.

Instead of enjoying so much, why don’t we give it different meaning as mastering, bettering and enhancing our body, personality, spirit, talent, mentality and emotion?  Teach the children how to work hard to get their dreams and not become spoiled brat.  Prefer to eat healthy foods and have work out to make your health your wealth and live without enduring or undergoing serious illness.  Be helpful, empathetic and socialize well so that your personality will become so pleasant to other people.  Be God-centered to make your spiritual personality have the much-needed and most-sought peace of mind.  Cultivate your talent and value your job to become that you may be useful.  Open and broaden your mind, be modest, and ignite your emotion to live up your life.  When you able to do these, you can really say you live your life full, you have come into full circle, or if that is the circle of life may be.  When you able to do these in your life in this world, this is the meaning of you have just live once so live right. 

MINSAN LANG TAYO MABUBUHAY

“Isang beses lang tayo nabubuhay, mabuhay tayo hanggang sa pinakamalaki". Hindi ko ito masang-ayunan nang buong-buo kasi para sa karamihan ay nagiging mali ang pagkakaintindi nila dito. 

Dahil ang katwiran nila ay “minsan ka lang mabubuhay kaya itodo mo na”, kaya gagawin na nila ang sobra at kung ano ang gusto nila tulad ng kainin kung ano ang gusto.  Ginagawa na nila itong dahilan na isang beses lang kasi tayo mabubuhay kaya magpakasaya at magpakasawa na tayo.  Isang beses lang tayo mabubuhay kaya magpakasawa sa alak, sugal, kalokohan, materyalismo, pakikipagrelasyon, atbp.  Minsan nga lang tayo mabubuhay sa mundong ito kaya sulitin natin ang buhay.

 

Para sa akin, ito ay hindi dapat gawing literal.  Bakit hindi mo isalin ibang kahulugan?   “Minsan lang tayo mabubuhay kaya mabuhay tayo nang sulit at todo”.  Ibig sabinin, sulitin at pagandahin mo ang buhay mo tulad ng pakikipagkapwa-tao at pagkatao mo.  Dapat “minsan lang tayo mabubuhay kaya mabuhay tayo nang tama”.  Huwag mong abusuhin ang katawan sa marami at ibat-ibang pagkain dahil iyan ang ikasasakit mo.  Dahil may pambili ka ng pagkain ay kakainin mo na kung ano ang gusto mo?  May limitasyon din dahil kung ano ka ay iyun kasi ang kinakain mo.  Kung may sakit ka ay dahil sa mga kinakain mo.  Ang totoo nito ay kinakain mo ang mga gusto mong kainin hindi dahil isang beses ka lang mabubuhay sa mundo kundi ang totoo ay gusto mo lang talaga ang kumain ng masasarap na pagkain.  Huwag mong abusuhin ang pera mo.  Hindi dahil may pera ka kaya binibili mo ang mga mamahalin at makabagong gamit dahil ang totoo ay umiiral lang ang pagiging makamundo mo at materyalismo mo. 

 

Hindi naman natin magagawa ang itodo ang buhay kasi ang totoo kapag naruon ka na sa sinabi mong todo ay mararamdaman mong wala pa pala at kailangan mo pang itodo.  Ang pinakatugatog ay hindi magiging pinakatugatog na kapag naruon ka na kung kaya hindi mo talaga maisasabuhay ang mabuhay nang todo at sagad.  Walang katapusan ang kasiyahan ng tao.  Nagpakasawa ka na sa kalokohan, pero kapag nagawa mo na yun ay gugustuhin mong lampasan pa ang mga nagawa mong kalokohan.  Nakakakain ka na sa mga sikat na kainan at nakakain mo na ang masasarap na luto ng baka, baboy, manok at isda pero hindi mo na kayang tikisin ang hindi uli kumain ng mga ito dahil iyun na ang pang-lasa na gusto mo.  Binili mo na ang pinakabagong modelo na kagamitan pero makalipas ang ilang araw o buwan lang ay may lalabas ulit na bagong modelo kaya iyun naman ang mas hahangarin mong mabili.  Isang beses magiging bata ang bata kaya ibigay natin sa kanila ang makakapagpasaya sa kanila.

 

Sa halip na pagpapakasaya nang sobra-sobra, bakit hindi mo ito bigyang kahulugan bilang pagpapakadalubhasa, pagpapagaling, at pagpapalakas ng iyong pangangatawan, personalidad, espiritu, talento, mentalidad at emosyon.  Ituro mo sa mga bata kung paano pagsumikapan ang gusto nila upang makamit nila ang kanilang pangarap at hindi sila maging laki sa layaw.  Mas kainin mo ang masusustansiyang pagkain at pagkakaroon ng ehersisyo upang ang kalusugan mo ay maging kayamanan mo at mabuhay ka nang walang iniindang dinaramdam na malubhang sakit.  Maging matulungin at mabuting makipagkapwa-tao ka upang ang personalidad mo ay maging sobrang kaaya-aya sa mga tao.  Maging makadiyos ka upang ang ispirituwal na pagkatao mo ay magkaroon ng pinakaaasam na katahimikan ng pag-iisip.  Linangin mo ang iyong aking-talento at pahalagahan mo ang iyong trabaho upang maging kapaki-pakinabang ka.  Buksan at lawakan mo ang iyong kaisipan at maging mapagpakumbaba at maalab ang damdamin upang maisabuhay mo ang kung ano ang buhay mo at ang buhay mo ay maging sukdulan.

 

Kapag nagawa mo ang mga ito, masasabi mo na naisabuhay mo ang buhay mo nang ganap, at sinapit mo ang kabuuan ng buhay, o ang kabilugan ng buhay man yan.  Kapag nagawa mo ang mga ito sa buhay mo sa mundong ito, ito ang kahulugan ng minsan ka lang mabubuhay kaya mabuhay ka nang kapaki-pakinabang at tama.

GULONG NG BUHAY

Obligasyon, tungkulin at responsibilidad ng mga magulang na pakainin, alagaan, turuan, palakihin, at buhayin ang kanilang mga anak.  Pero ang tanong, obligasyon o responsibilidad ba ng mga anak na tulungan o alagaan ang kanilang mga magulang kapag sila ay matatanda na?  Ang sagot – oo na may mga “kung” at “pero”.  Oo kung kinakailangan, oo pero hindi ipinagpipilitan.  Mayroon bang responsibilidad na boluntaryo lamang?  Meron kasi kung tama ang pag-aalaga at pagpapalaki mo sa kanila, kung ang naituro mo sa kanila ay ung gusto mong ituro, magiging boluntaryo ang kanilang pagtrato sa iyo.  Hindi na ito magiging katanungan kung dapat ba o  hindi kundi kagustuhan, pag-galang at pagmamahal na kaya gagawin nila ang pagtulong/pag-aalaga. Sa totoo lang, depende talaga sa sitwasyon at sa relasyon ng mga anak at magulang.

Bilang magulang, hindi ka nag-asawa at nag-anak para mayroong mag-alaga sa pagtanda mo.  Hindi ka nag-pamilya para sa seguridad mo.  At hindi mo dapat iutos o iobliga ang pagtanaw ng utang ng loob ng iyong mga anak, at huwag mong isumbat ang mga ginawa mo sa kanila dahil unang-una ay trabaho mo iyun, iyun ang dapat mong gawin, at pinili mong iyun ang iyong gawin.  Kasi kung panumumbat din lang naman ay pareho din naman kayong may utang ng loob sa isat-isa.  Hindi mababayaran ang utang ng loob, tulad din ng hindi mo kayang bayaraan ang utang ng loob na ginawa nila nang maging kumpleto ka dahil sila ang bumuo ng iyong pagkatao nang isilang sila.  Ang ipanganak ay hindi utang ng loob sa magulang dahil hindi naman hiniling ng mga bata na ipanganak sila bagkus ay ang mga magulang ang may gusto na magkaroon ng mga anak upang masabing magulang sila.  Kaya nag-aasawa ang mga tao at nag-kakaanak ay upang ituloy ang kabuuan ng ikot ng buhay kaya dapat lang na buhayin nila ang kanilang mga anak.  Nang ikaw ay mag-asawa ay nilisan mo na ang iyong mga magulang para bumuo ng sarili mong pamilya, at ganun din ang dapat mong asahan sa pag-aasawa ng iyong mga anak.  Tayo at tayo din ang magaalaga sa ating mga sarili. Hindi man obligado pero kung kaligayahan ng mga anak mo ang tulungan ka, lingunin ang mga ginawa mong paghihirap, pahalagahan ang mga ginawa mo sa kanila, sa kabila ng nahihirapan man sila sa buhay – iyun ay suwerte na lamang.

Bilang anak, responsibilidad mo ang iyong magulang kasi sino ang mag-aalaga sa mga magulang mo kung ang magulang ng iyong mga magulang ay wala na?  Ikaw na siyang pinakamalapit nilang kamag-anak ang siyang may responsibilidad.  Dito pumapasok ang kagandahang asal at ugali na itinuro sa iyo ng iyong mga magulang.  Bilang ganti at nilalaman ng puso mo, aalagaan at tutulungan mo sila.  Pinalaki ka sa abot ng makakayanan ng iyong mga magulang – yun lang ay dapat mo ng tanawin ng utang na loob at bukas sa loob na pagtulong.  Hindi man dapat isapilitang obligahin ang mga anak na alagaan o tulungan ang kanilang mga magulang  ngunit bilang isang anak ay kailangan mong igalang at kilalanin ang iyong magulang, at bilang isang tao ay tungkulin mo na tulungan ang mga nangangailangan.  Kung iisipin ay hindi na ito dapat umabot sa tanungan kung responsibilidad ba ito dahil hindi na responsibilidad kundi kagustuhan mo na ito kasi umiiral na dito iyung bilang-ganti, paggalang at PAGMAMAHAL kaya gagawin mo ang nararamdaman mo.

Ang lahat ay nasa sitwasyon.  May mga tao na nasasabi nila ngayon na hindi sila aasa sa kanilang mga anak kasi ay may trabaho sila o may pera sila, paano yung mga walang pera at hirap na hirap sa buhay?  Kahit alam na natin sa umpisa pa lamang na hindi natin dapat iasa sa ating mga anak ang ating buhay at paghandaan natin ang ating buhay sa pagtanda natin, paano kung ang lahat ng oras, lakas, at yaman ay naubos para sa mga anak kaya hindi napaghandaan ang kanilang pagtanda?  Paaano naman kung ang kalagayan ng anak ay isa ring hikahos dahil sa pagpapakain, pagpapaaral at pagpapalaki ng sariling mga anak kaya walang kakayahang tumulong?  Tungkulin sana ng pamahalaan na arugain nito ang kanyang mga mamamayan na walang kakayahang alagaan ang mga sarili pero nakakalungkot na hindi ito ramdam sa ating bayan.  Kaya sa bandang huli ay sino pa ba ang magtutulungan kundi tayo-tayo rin mismo.  Hindi na dapat tanungin kung dapat bang tumanaw ng utang ng loob, obligasyon ba o hindi, basta kung may kakayahang makatulong ay gawin na lamang kung ano ang nararapat.

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST MISTAKE IN LIFE?

Maybe not mistake but my biggest lesson in life is we should live life to the fullest while still young because while we are getting older, our chance to live it to the fullest becomes slim.  I will not say what I chose to live was a mistake, it was just not the practical and witty choice.  I did not choose the popular choice.   This is the reason I think why I still do not feel I am complete.  Doing to live life to full while we are young, we are learning in life, becoming prudent, and earning wisdom and experiences.  And by the time we are old, we are happy in whatever field we have taken because we are made and happy.  If I pursued what I really wanted when I was young, I think I could have a better, happier and more contented life today.

I was so timid, hesitated, and aloof back in the days.  I was always concerned to considering the other people before I make move or decision.  Will the people like it, or will they be affected?  Will they see my flaws, weaknesses, shortcomings and defects?  Will it hit my personality and me as a whole?  And so I deprived myself to feel free, and I suffered self-esteem.  But as I get older, I have realized I don’t need to always consider the others but love myself first as long as no harming others.  I have learned that I am living for myself and not for the others, that I don’t need their validation, to please everybody, and that the more I get older, the less I become uninterested in proving myself.  But the sad thing is, it’s now quite late doing it.  I should have done it long before.

The older you become, the more likely you cannot do what you want.  At my age now, it looks like I cannot go on all the things I used to do and go into bigger and wider lifestyle.  In attempt now to make my life full and big, I want to catch up the lost chances but the time limits my capacity.  I want to enjoy what life can offer like watching concerts, joining rallies, experiencing competitions, and building great bonding with friends and family but the times and resources are practically running out.  I still want to visit at least ten more destinations on my bucket list because I still cannot get enough but the times tell me to slow down.  I travelled to places during late part of my life because back in younger days I chose to set it aside and instead prioritized to get rich, which apparently did not come true because of circumstances.  I still want to work to earn more but my time now is near to retirement and my adrenalin is exhausting, falling, disappearing.  I still want to acquire assets but how can I bravely pay them if having a decent job is no longer on my side? There is no more time, there is no more chance.

But on the other hand when I look back, how can I live the life to the full if I was unequipped then.  Maybe what it meant to live it to the fullest is to be courageous which I was not.  In life you have to be brave – in the sense of confidence to make the move to change your life.  Be brave to loan if it is good credit.  Be brave to meet strange people and be friend. Be brave to speak with veteran and erudite people to gain knowledge.  Be brave to fall in love again and again.  Be brave to take the risk of leading a group of people. Be brave to commit mistakes to learn the lessons.  Be brave to do what makes you happy, complete, and productive – in a fair way.  Life is short and quick to never leave till tomorrow what you can do today so follow your heart and enjoy life to the fullest.  Do it now, because time will come you will feel uninterested in doing these things that you are keen of doing today, or no matter how much you want it but you have no more time and no longer have the strength to do it.  And no matter what we do, we cannot really go back to the past and redo, correct and restart our life.  There is no rewind, there is no take-two.

Time is always our enemy.  The older we get, the lesser times we can do what we want to do.  We get tired while taking our life’s journey until we get old.  By the time we are old, we’re unable to complete what we have missed to do when we’re young.  Be brave to live life to the fullest responsibly.

LETTING GO

At times when we need to let go of things we have held for a long time.  They could be personal old stuffs that become pile up already, or sentimental things with value that have lost the meaning, let them go for someone may need them more than we do.  Sometimes the meaning of sentimental value becomes deceiving when the very purpose of it doesn’t serve the correct feelings.  Maybe we really don’t need them and we are just on the material than the nostalgic value.

 

Letting go is for immaterial too – emotion, behavior, character.  It could be the feelings of fear, guilt, envy, pessimism, holding grudges that become burden, let them go for our mental heath’s sake.  It could be the unrealistic goals, remorse, trauma or bad memories, and unforgiving that hold us back, let them go for our peace of mind. Get rid of being crazy, unload those personalities and experiences for your fresh start and moving on.

 

And letting go could be a person that needs to let go for good sake.  Family, friendship, colleague; we could be in five, ten, thirteen years together but if the circumstances tell, so be it.  Sometimes even we are in good term with each other for that long, even there is actually no issue between us, we need to accept one of us has to go for the good and we need to be apart because this is what it is called for.

 

It doesn’t mean that we have issue or conflict with the person, and it doesn’t mean we do not care but if it is for betterment and possible good opportunities ahead, that is indeed more than caring so why preempt either anyone or both of us?  It is better let us go because there are opportunities come that we can seize up if we are on our own.  And some people do come and go in our life to shape us and give something to make us better person.

 

Letting each one of us goes doesn’t mean that we will not be in touch anymore.  We are just at a distance and not seeing each other but in reality, there will be continued connection and open communication in between.  To sum these up, it doesn’t mean to let go per se is goodbye, but the beginning of something that needs.

 

And for those relationships that are going through difficult times and still trying to fixing the irresolvable differences, learn the art of letting go.  In relationships that are on the rock, there are things better off if separately.  There are things you can do better if you are on your own.  You are pulling each other down when you are always in contrast and this makes you both preempting your growth.  This is the realization that some people are meant to meet and know each other to be part of their life story but not their destiny.

 

Letting go someone or something you don’t have favorable feeling is easy but on the things you really want to the moon and back is a hard effort. Letting it go is always sad, accepting it is always difficult.  Change is never easy.  We need to learn acceptance.  To accept, we need to understand and understanding is not just knowing what is going on but more than that is agreeing to why it is happening.  Look at the other sides of the story and always put yourself in other’s shoe to come up a fair judgment.  True enough, letting go will make you feel better and easier.  I think this is the art of letting go.  

 

MABABANG TIWALA SA SARILI

"Ang sakit sa pakiramdam ng walang nagkakagusto.  Ang hirap ng pakiramdam ng hindi ka nagugustuhan.  Ang sakit ng hindi gustuhin samantalang iyung iba ang daming nagkakagusto.  May mga tao na ang dali-dali nila magustuhan.  Gustuhin sila.  Sa silid-aralan o sa paaralan, sila iyung gusto ng lahat tapos ikaw yung kahit isa sa wala man lang nagkakagusto sa iyo. Bakit ganun? Tapos sila iyung may pribiliheyo na sila yung makakapamili kasi marami may gusto sa kanila.  Meron pa silang reserba kung sakaling hindi pala niya gusto iyung nauna, o hindi matagumpay yung nauna.  Samantalang ikaw ni isa walang pumipili sa iyo.  Tinatanong mo hanggang kaylan ako maghihintay, aasa, magdurusa?”

Napakinggan ko ito sa internet, at nararamdaman at naiintidihan ko kung saan siya nanggagaling dahil dumaan ako sa ganitong sitwasyon.  Bata pa lang ay pakiramdam ko ay pangit ako at alam ko ng hindi ako gustuhin kasi naikukumpara naman natin ang sarili natin sa iba na nakikita o naririnig natin na maraming nagkakagusto.  Nuong nag-aaral tayo sa elementarya, kapag napipili ka na gumanap sa isang dula tulad pangunahing tauhan sa dula, bilang si San Jose o Birheng Maria, isang hari o reyna, o iyung napipili ka na sumayaw sa progr ama – duon pa lang ay malalaman mo na kung may kaaya-aya kang hitsura.   Ang totoo sa mga unang araw pa lamang ng pag-pasok ay pumipili na sa atin kung sino ang pinakamaganda para maging lakambini (muse) at konsorte.  Kahit alin sa mga ito ay hindi ko naranasan.  Kaya bata pa lang ay nag-uumpisa na akong magkaroon ng kahinaan at alalahanin sa sarili.  Pagkatapos, iyung hindi bibo sa klase, hindi naman nakakariwasa sa buhay, at ang mga kasuotan ay hindi naman kagandahan, ang mga ito ay lalo pang nagdagdag ng kalungkutan sa akin.  Hanggang umabot ako ng hayskul, dito mas tumingkad ang pagkakaroon ko ng kawalan ng kumpiyansa sa sarili, pakiramdam ng kababaan ng uring-tao, at naging mahiyain na ako.  Alam ko naman na hindi mahalaga ang panglabas na hitsura kundi ang panloob, pero naghahanap tayo ng magkakagusto sa atin at nangungulila ako sa ganitong paglingap upang magbigay sa akin ng lakas ng loob.  Ang ating mukha ang nagbibigay ng unang impresyon kung tayo ba ay kagigiliwan dahil hindi naman agad-agad ay alam ng mga tao ang kagandahan ng loob natin kaya nangangarap ka talaga na maging kaaya-aya ang panglabas na hitsura.

At naging kalungkutan ko ang aking hitsura dahil sa totoo nito ay napapangitan talaga ako sa sarili ko.  Kaya alam ko iyung pakiramdam ng hindi ka nagugustuhan.  Nag-iisip ako, bakit may mga tao na pangit ay mayroong artistahin?  Sabi ko, ang suwerte naman nila kasi hindi sila nahihirapan magustuhan, minsan sila pa ang nilalapitan, at nakakapamili pa dahil marami silang pagpipilian.  Marami silang bentahe bukod sa paghahanap ng kasama, mas madali rin silang matanggap sa trabaho, mas maraming papuri, mas nagkakaoon ng tiwala sa sarili samantalang ako, kailangan pang may patunayan muna bago mapansin at magustuhan.  Gusto kong pumuti, maging manipis ang ilong at mga labi, maging makitid ang hugis ng mukha, at magkaroon ng makapal na balahibo sa binti at braso.  Nuong hayskul ako ay naranasan ko pa ang ayawan ako ng kapareha ko sa sayaw dahil ang pakiramdam ko ay dahil sa hitsura ko.  At nang hindi ko malapitan ang magandang babae na gustong-gusto ko dahil pinangihinaan ako ng loob dahil sa aking hitsura, nuon ako sumuko at hinayaan ko na lang kung ano ako.

Nang sumapit ako ng tatlumpung-taon, unti-unti ay tinanggap ko ang sarili ko kung ano ang mayroon ako at tinuklas ko kung saan ako maaaring gumaling at magiging masaya.  At duon ako humugot ng lakas ng loob at tiwala sa sarili.  Ang paggawa ng malikhaing-pagsusulat, pagkakaroon ng hanap-buhay, kakayahang magpunta sa mga magagandang lugar na gusto ko, at mga bagay na mahalaga sa akin – ang mga ito ang nagiging dahilan ng aking pagiging kuntento.  Ngayon ay wala na akong pakialam, may buhok o wala, malapad ang labi o hindi, hindi ko na ito iniintindi, hindi na ito mahalaga dahil aanhin ko pa ang hinanap kong hitsura kung para saan pa?  Ngayon ay ramdam ko na ang payo ng mga matatanda na ang panglabas na hitsura ay hindi ang kailangan para maging masaya, kuntento, buo ang loob, at magtiwala sa sarili.

MORALITY IN OUR CULTURE

Morality is a very complicated and sensitive matter that has many explanations, arguments, and opinions.  Same with culture that has a very strong effects, roles and part in human race.  In this world with millions of humans in different ethnicity, demography, environment, values, and status, it is really very impossible to put morality in one perspective.  It is because it involves people’s life that has started very long time ago.  Morality and culture are part of our ancestry, heritage, tradition, and belief.  Starting at a very young age, everyone has set of standards or sense of right and wrong within their community they belong.

 

How do cultural difference and similarities influence the perception of moral norms across different societies?  Our cultural differences influence our understanding of what is right or wrong and normal or not. Appropriately, the people on the south and north, to cite an example, have different belief about their life, etiquette, tradition, political rules, and spiritual belief because of their different demographical situation.  What are correct for us may have either negative or positive perception from other groups that not similar or belong to us.  They could misunderstand us because they were not used to accustom with our understanding.  Our dresses, foods, books, or sports for instances have different styles from dresses, foods, books, or sports from the people in the Middle East countries.  This is because of the climate, condition, and location for instances; these affect our life decisions of what’s to do and what’s not.  Different societies have different values, habits, laws and moral ideas that are overlapping with other societies’ environment, economic, religion, location and cultural norms.

Another example of moral differences is the situation of the Overseas Filipino Workers.  Many moral issues that an OFW encounters when living in abroad occur when his/her cultural expectations clash with the culture of the country he is working in.  This can create dilemma and causes him doubt himself and the company he is working in.  In this case, it is best to remain calm and try to understand the foreign culture while respecting and preserving his own moral integrity.

On the other hand and on the same way, our cultural similarities have influence in the daily norms of different groups whether it is topographical, political, social and spiritual because it makes life easier.  For example, travelling around the democratic country is not complicated because rules and regulations that exist in all parts of the country are applied uniformly.  In a federal country, you have to be mindful in your social norms that you have grown with because your judicial systems have different implementation.  In USA for example, you have to be careful when passing from one state to another state that guns are prohibited and not prohibited.  In Philippines, wherever you travel, gun ban is observed all over the country.  But the only constant in this world is changes.  Our dissimilarity can soon be in harmony because morality changes as times go by.  There were times cross-dressers gays in public were taboo but nowadays they can be seen on national television that is accessible to all ages.

What extent can we argue that morality is a universal concept?  We can argue about the universal concept of morality as long as it is healthy argument.  As long as it is within the civil manner and as long as it is diplomatic way, then that is healthy argument.  Like the professional people in a professional group, debate is part of growing up and it is always welcome.  Yes, morality is universal, versatile and adaptable concept if for the sake of survival and it is generally speaking.  “Thou shall not steal” is an example of moral thought in religious scripture, and at the same it is crime mandated by state.  However the religion’s teaching and state’s laws about stealing become versatile during the matter of life and death.  When hunger happens during let say in epidemic or in warzone area, and the only thing to survive is to eat, then the general public can be forced to loot and it becomes somehow acceptable because lives are at stake. There's a moral ambiguity in looting, as looting to survive may find casual justification as to postpone any rightful tenant of law to control it. Steal what you badly need but stealing for other needs (like appliance, cosmetic, fashion, etc.) in times of hunger is not acceptable.  However it is a crime and there is no justification for superseding the crime above the law as to overlook its casual action. Looting as a matter of life is quite acceptable but that doesn’t mean we need to justify a crime on the ground of anarchy, this may find support to most but giving any circumstances will find acceptable in order of society.  Nevertheless it only says that whatever or wherever your origin, education, faith, etcetera, morality can be universal when it is for survival. 

ANG PAGTULONG

Mas mabuti na ikaw ang tumulong kaysa sa ikaw ang tulungan dahil ang ibig sabihin lang nuon ay ikaw ang nakakalamang o ang may kakayahang tumulong.  Masuwerte ka dahil ikaw ang may kakayahang tumulong kaysa sa ikaw ang nangangailangan ng tulong dahil ang ibig sabihin niyon ay ikaw ang wala sa mahirap na kalagayan at ang hindi nahihirapan.

 

Pero huwag mong ipakita kapag ikaw ay tutulong.  Sa pagtulong, ang ginagawa ng kanang kamay ay hindi dapat ipinapaalam sa iyong kaliwang kamay.  Gawin mong tapat at totoo ang pagtulong.  Hindi ipinagsasabi ang mga naitutulong, hayaan mong ibang tao ang magsabi.  Hayaan mong ibang tao ang pumuri sa ginawa mong pagtulong.

 

At kapag tumulong ka, huwag mong tatandaan.  Huwag mong ilista kung sino-sino ang mga tinulungan mo at anu-ano ang mga naitulong mo.  Kalimutan mo na kung ano ang mga iyon.  Hindi na bali silang mga tao na natulungan mo na matandaan na ikaw ay tumulong.  Hindi mo dapat ipaala-ala ang iyong tulong.  Hayaan mo na sila ang makaalaala.  Kasi kapag tatandaan at ililista mo ang mga ginagawa mong tulong ay ibig sabihin binibilang mo ang mga naitulong mo.  Dahil ba gusto mong malaman kung gaano na kalaki ang mga naitulong mo?  Dahil ba gusto mong isipin kung magkano ang puwedeng bumalik sa iyo?  Kung ganuon ay hindi talaga bukal sa loob mo ang pagtulong.

 

Kapag ikaw ay tutulong, huwag kang maghintay ng papuri o pasasalamat sa akto ng ginawa mong pagtulong.  Huwag kang maghintay ng kapalit, o ng pagbalik ng ginawa mong tulong. Dahil hindi ka tumulong para may tutulong din sa iyo kapag ikaw naman ang nangailangan.  Hindi ka tumulong para pagdating ng araw ay may sisingilin ka.  Tumulong ka dahil iyon ang kinakailangan ng mga oras na iyon.

 

At huwag kang manunumbat.  Huwag mong bilangin, huwag kang magbilang ng naitulong mo.  Huwag mong ipapamukha ang mga naitulong mo dahil kapag ganuon ay parang naniningil ka na.  Kapag ganun ay nilalagyan mo ng halaga o presyo na kayang bayaran ang mga ginawa mo.  At hindi naman pala talaga totoo ang ginawa mong pagtulong dahil kaya itong tumbasan ng anomang kabayaran.

 

Ang utang ng loob ay walang katapat, kapalit at katumbas na halaga.  Pero kapag siningil mo ang kabayaran sa utang ng loob at binayaran ka sa anomang paraan, wala ka ng karapatang manumbat at magiging ikaw na ang may utang ng loob sa kanya dahil ibinigay sa iyo ang kailangang-kailangan mo sa mga oras n kailangan mo iyung gusto mo.

 

Kung hindi mo maiiwasan ang mga ito, huwag ka na lang magbigay at tumulong para wala kang maisumbat.  Dahil kailangang totoo ka sa iyong pagtulong.  Kapag kusang loob, bukas sa puso at naturalesa ng isang tao ang pagtulong, hindi na niya matatandaan ang mga ginagawa niyang pagtulong dahil wala lang sa kanya ang ang mga iyon, kaya hindi na niya iyon maaalaala dahil para na lang ordinaryong bagay ang magbigay at maging mabuti sa kapwa, dahil nga natural na sa kanya yun.

MAIN CAST IN FRIENDSHIP

Friendship is life story with the main cast and supports. As our life goes on, we ourselves or the people around us are either giving and taking in one way or another in many scenes and from there we meet and get lots of acquaintances, social friends and colleague, common friends, several casual friends and close friends, and one or two intimate friends or best friends.  Some may come and some may go but some stays and we keep this loop goes round and round and on and on, and they make up the cast of our story.

 

In five years of my search to find the true friends among the casts, there are different ways I am using to find the friends that I can be with in times of difficulty, success, and even in ordinary events.  I have some old good friends who I went back to reconnect with, I have current colleague whom I made myself closer in hope of becoming friends, and I have old and current friends that I leveled up the relationship to make it the turning point to become that true friends.  But it is so difficult because everything has no assurance.  Either we are so far to each other, or I do not know if I can be with them or can I still be with them?

 

There are people whom we had soft spot even before that somehow have become our friends because we used to be with them before: high school classmate, former colleague, or childhood playmates. And the fact that we had soft spot with them, that alone says they can be the possible choices that we wanted to be friends.  That is maybe because there are similarities in our personalities, in likes and dislikes, or whatever characteristics that are matching with us.  Your friendship may did not continue because of your separate life that you pursued but when out of nowhere and out of the blue you remember it, you will find there is still soft spot in your heart no matter how many years have passed.  And when there is chance, it is so nice to go back them to continue the friendship because there is already the similarity or mutual feeling between the two of you. 

 

Sometime one of the main casts is seemed to be not in the happy ending.  Sometimes we thought we already found it but sometimes why it seems there are looming obstacles?  In my five years of searching true friends, I went back to old friends but it looks like my prayers to be with them finally for life will not be granted.  Reasons might be because they will not stay for good in the place where I will stay in my retiring home.  Or we will not meet in our hometown when we decided to go home because our places are miles apart.  Or it could be we are not sure if we will still be able to see each other because life is a matter of time.

 

There are second chances.  I have friendship that was given a second chance to renew the friendship.  Though we were reconnected, there is a feeling of regret in me that I should have done something then.  I should have done it then during the times when we build friendships that I can do something actually, friendship would have developed and grown.  There are many times, things and trials that were wasted that could have cemented the friendship’s foundation.  To my friend before, parted miles away from each other, and reconnected again: friendship is not in the distance, frequency of conversation, and numbers of shared beautiful things that happened, it is not about these things but it is in the greatness and cleanliness of good thoughts for each other.

HOW TO BE YOU PO?

1. 

Kadalasan na naitatanong sa akin ay bakit daw hindi ako tumataba?  First of all, I used to have good body metabolism during my teen years up to 20’s, even to early 30’s.  Ang bilis ko mag-burn ng calories, I easily produced sweats in simple work out or just by being in a continued active minutes.  Towards to my mid-30’s, I accustomed myself to natural diet thru eating less fats, red meats, processed foods and more fiber from veggies and bread.  I don’t diet religiously or by the book, I just make myself active and do not eat excessively.  It’s like I’m not a fan of sweet not because I am diabetic but it’s because I don’t like to become.  Today I practice “less quantity-more quality” foods. 

 

To top it all, it is really the excess amount of the foods we eat that makes our size.  When taking meals, maybe you don’t really need to have another plate – you can start from here.  Then later, maybe you don’t need to take rice three meals a day, or make it less rice-more dish.  And then consider the quality really matters.  Totoo, ang sarap kumain especially in the fine-dine in restaurants, the taste of the foods validates our taste bud, it makes our craving completed and this tempts us.  What did I do to get rid of the temps?  By putting on my mind that I don’t need to eat all these foods once I tasted.  I always stick to my vocabulary that once means once.

 

2.

Another most frequent question that I receive is why I do not get crazy over the modern and high tech gadgets.  Bakit daw ayaw ko sumunod sa uso, bakit hind ako naeenganya?  For one thing, it is not my choice, I am not interested on it.  How I keep to stick on my choice is because I am not techie on the first place, I find it difficult to learn different apps and enjoy the games.  I am a bit old school.  Basic features of mobile are enough for me – that’s all and I appreciate this.  I am very simple person.  It’s not only in gadgets, I am not fan of things that I consider lavishness.  I don’t wear perfume, signature shirts and shoes are not big thing for me, vehicle is not my thing.  Why I can do these, it’s simply I chose to be simple. 

 

3.

Natanong din ako na bakit daw hindi ako nape-pressure sa pagpo-provide sa family.  When my mother was still living, I made her understand how much I can send from my earnings in a month, and I think this made my family back home to budget to make ends meet.  Bihirang nangyari, mabibilang sa daliri, yung nakatanggap ako ng message that telling me I need send again, the rest I send remittance once in a month on a regular basis.   

 

I am a person who follow budget.  I don’t go beyond my means.  If I need something, I have to save for it and when I have the enough amount, then I will buy it.  Sometimes kinakapos din ako na need ko manghiram., sometime I do have bad purchases, nagiging magastos din ako peroI make sure na babawiin ko on my next earning whatever lost I made.

 

5.

Bakit daw palagi o kadalasan ok lang sa akin ang mga bagay-bagay?  This question has been asked to me more than enough to say many times.  Whenever I was asked about something not so good that happened to me, my responses are “it’s ok”, “I’m fine“, “no problem”, “not big deal”, “never mind”.  Instances like someone disappointed me, I did not receive what I wanted, an important thing is lost; in all these circumstances, I will say my answer “it’s ok”. 

 

It is easy for me to let them go.  Ang bilis ko ma-convince, ma-accept at baliwalaain na lang, not necessarily forget them.  There are things that take me quite long to get over but it will not take me more times to move on.  Why is that so easy for me is because I don’t like to keep extra baggage.  I am a believer of a dictum that says everything is happening for reasons. If it is not meant for me, so be it.  Kung hindi ukol hindi bubukol as the saying says.   If I did not get what I want, maybe it is a blessing in disguise to not make it happen.  If someone does something bad to me, I will just think it’s not my fault and it’s not me who has the burden.