SALOOBIN

Ano ba ang aking misyon 

sa daigdig na kinagisnan ko

Ako ba'y nabubuhay para sa ibang tao

taga-punan ng kanilang gusto?

Mula't-sapul ay lagi akong nakikiusap

naghahabol, sumusunod.

Ano pang kailangan kong gawin sa kanila ay alinsunod

Upang mapatunayan lang ang sarili 

at sa kanila'y mapabilang 

ay kailangan ko ba'ng magpatianod?

Sa aking mga kamay na nag-pagal 

na naghihirap na nang kay tagal,

buong lakas ko'y inaalay nang bukal 

sa aking mga minamahal.

Ngunit tila nagiging pusong-bakal

ang bubog ng nakaraan ay kakambal 

Kailan sila matatapos, tanong ko sa'king mga dasal

Kasagutan ay kailan sasabihin ng Maykapal?

Ang mga bigat na sa likod ko ay pasanin 

siguro nga ay hindi sila napapansin.

Pero ang lahat ng ito ay bale-wala sa akin 

dahil sa mga ito'y nararamdaman ko aking kahalagahan.

Ngunit hanggang saan ang kailangan kong gampanan

Kung dumating ang araw, ako'y tila wala ng kapakinabangan. 

Ako ba ay pasasalamatan na aking mararamdaman?

Para sa aking mga bubog ng nakaraan: 

Ako ay lalaban hindi para sa kaninoman 

Ako ay magsisikap upang sarili ay pahalagahan 

Sa aking sarili ay aking patutunayan 

sa pagsubok ay 'di magagapi ngayon at kailanman.

2025 EXPERIENCE

10, 9, 8...... 3, 2, 1, 0!!!

As the previous year has just turned to end, let me ponder some thought before I take the leap into the brand new year that has just started.

2025 was tiring, I started it having my self-esteem practically down. My work hit me hard during that time that I constantly questioned my value and worth. Here started my points of view about being smart versus being kind. Although that did not last long, but financial challenges made felt between now and then until thing became even tougher at least towards the end of the year: I was feeling dumped, and I thought 2025 was tiring. For 2026, I might only check up on those who check up on me, will only call people who call me, will text people who text me. Mirror method, sad and hard but this is how 2025 taught me. Some seems have hanged, do not care after me. I just feel like I'm really do not matter to them, maybe not needed anymore, and might as well I give up and let them go.

The past year was a little tougher; enough to claim has survived that year. I started it with tight budget. I thought I can handle it until I realized I am not running out of expenses. Seriously. I faced financial difficulties during the year. I cannot imagine how I did it but I had able to pay for the amount that I can't afford to save in a year. I did not bother any of my closed ones, I didn't want to bring back favors or oblige them helping me out. Instead I'm just the one who did sacrifice. For one thing, my tightening the belt practice has paid off. This year, I think I might really need some help from them.

I started it boldly and assertively. They said you will never know until you do it, so I risked and then see what "will be" will be. Now, I am more than half way of completing it. Thankful that I did it and thankful that I trusted my feeling, all these for my retiring home.

Since the last three years, I am starting to prepare myself to feel fast my approaching new chapter in life as senior citizen. I am wishing to get rid of some feelings for friends in this place to make leaving them is easier and lighter when back to my base. 2025 challenged my readiness. I felt I am ready but there were times I found myself affected of the coming parting ways. For 2026, expect I will be a little recluse because I want to become tougher, I want to value myself, take care of my mental health, living my own life alone, and give a cheer that I deserved.

It is road to 60.