OK IS NOT OK AS OK

Questions how are you, how is it going, what's up are every day questions that you have a ready response, you're okay. But the thing is, sometimes you just want to say you are okay even it is not really okay because it is the easy answer. If you can plead the fifth is not because you are under the weather nor you are ignoring the person but it is simply because with due respect, you want to response politely. For one thing, you appreciate being asked and it is so kind of the persons that they aşk because you matters to them.

A SHRINKING VIOLET. You are not people person and no silver tongue. Most of the time, you just want to answer okay just to keep it that way. You don't want to explain or to please people, it is fulfilling to hold your tongue on your part not because you want them fall on deaf ears or just being cold shoulder. Sometimes, you don't have to have big mouth like you don't want to explain it but you just felt to let them know action is easier to understand than words. Loner is really less words and doesn't want attention.

ON THE SPOT. Saying "no" is difficult like saying not okay, but why is it difficult to say not okay when it is really not okay? It is not you wanted to lie but it is the humane way to put the things in place the both of you. It is not that you don't feel to utter it - and there you do not lie. At times we are soft touch. But why, because it humbles ourselves that we do not want our things to make big deal, being us the center of attention, or bother the others just because of us. You don't want to open a can of worms answering from spell it out to pick your brain. It is not being assuming nor over thinking but it is choosing inner piece.

DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD. You don't have to always say yes until you have drained, you need to learn say no. But be forthright and go straight. Call a spade a spade tell it like it is, say you are not okay so they know. Okay is not "okay as okay" when you intended to protect yourself for further questions and remarks to express or explain more of yourself like a head in the sand if that is so. If you want reclusion for yourself piece, then so be it. In the same manner, Okay is "not okay" as okay because it is giving others false take not to worry and it is not assuring your authentic state. Others make effort to break the ice that our warm response deserves their effort. You can beat around the bush even if you answer and you can still avoid it if you don't want to prolong it if you will learn.

HAVE A HEART. Answering you are okay, thank, how about you is music to ears though tends to bowing and scraping but can cut down up without being rude. Sometimes you don't have to do it by the book. Just a short reply and it is okay, it is comforting to the person and it is giving the vibes of in someone's circle when being noticed. Asking how are you, how is it going, what's up is as fast and short as answering just same, not bad, not much. Who would ever thought the person you care to reciprocate will make to feel light their moment? You may never know that you have just saved one lost souls who just need validation that their worth matters when you have just worn your heart on your sleeve and you care to reply. Heroic acts come in any forms we did not meant to do. Sometime it is in the least we expect and out of the blue.

ONE DAY

I was walking late at night at the downtown boulevard, just after the busy city started to rest in the darkness. Only a few illuminations from the grand buildings and from the dim lights of posts lit the street - oh, that was so 1990's vibe when every streetlight glowed in warmed yellow, and that hit me so hard. I remember the days thought of me, as a nowhere soul, chose simplicity. I was like fed-up and tired of noise, speed and chaos of the city, though I am living in the nearest province but it is really no longer a province-like vibes. I longed for a place very close to nature. It was like I wished if only I had remote province from my roots either from maternal or paternal kin then I will go that far because I really wanted the serenity, purity, and simplicity of the countryside in the rural places. Until one day, I was started to longing for nature and provinces.

When the time came that I was able to visit the northern and southern provinces, it instantly fulfilled the missing piece in my heart - the calmness and simplicity. Although they were momentary but the feelings made a lot of perpetual healing on me.It is magical feeling when going for the first time to places were a stranger soul is welcome to feel the belongingness in an underrated rustic place and your spirit easily liked it - that was happened to me. Mornings can be slow and I like it. Making my times slow and finding the joy in slower living gives me more times to feel and seize up the moment, feel the peace, breathe and appreciate them and I achieve quite heart. Times gently run from sun up to midday when the towering abundant trees, their lush vivid green leaves form cover against the high mid-noon sun. And I want to breathe profoundly where only me is encapsulating the moment of the found elusive "world peace" that city life deprives me. Evergreen surrounds, strange eerie sounds of the birds' call that echoes, the rustling noise when wind whistles through the leaves and twigs, and the crunching dried leaves under my feet walking through the bare skin of the earth, these, and the gentle breeze, they are my new found friends. In a quite forest, where human voice is soft like whispered, everything is tranquility but its enchanting beauty speaks volume.

The seven 'o clock in the morning in the bustling mega city is full of noise from the blows of horn from vehicles, police men blowing a whistle ahead of the building up busy and rush hours, and hurrying people trying to make it on time at work. In broad light, everything was put on the spotlight in the early morning that turned warm - these are stressful. In the countryside, the seven 'o clock in the morning is living gently and it allows you enough time to live by it. You have times to appreciate the beauty of the beginning of the day even in its small things. It is such as quite day and the clock slows down the days to seize up our moment under the broad light at noon, this is our connection to nature. Up until you get there, you will understand the slow life and lay back would give you the most sought serenity, feel richer when you spend the moment longer, and you will say happy you found it.

Until the night in city lighted its streetlights glowed in warmed yellow but they bring lethargy on me. In the busy roads when daytime, there are some spots seemed like stray souls in the evening with no enough light illuminating the quite narrow streets that lively and loud when under the sun. Even beyond the lights from the towering skyscrapers is no to see the stars scattered in the dark skies, and the moon too is hardly to find. And for some reason I feel this is darker than the night in the province with just moon lighting the evening that reflects its brightness in the leaves like it is waving. Even though the sky is dark but the stars are vividly flickering. The sounds of crickets and frogs and rustling of the leaves from the trees are melody that keeps the night in tune. These are things to see that bring back my childhood memories that now I want to pause, feel them long, and enjoy them again. If we can just stop rushing and start enjoying the moments, let us do it because a quite heart and a simple life are the greatest treasures until one day it will feel us complete.