Thursday, May 19, 2016


Although it’s still long way to go but at this moment, I have already a strong desire to become sixty-year old man.  No, it is not the mysterious or magical unexplainable short-cut way of transforming myself into an old man but it is the idea of fast-forwarding the life to become old.  I still want to go through the normal life and experience all the things that I have to undergo but what it seems that I wanted is to make it done now and know what have happened.  Both curious and bored, I want to see what the future lies on me.

I want to turn sixty years old now to enjoy being retired, pensioned and live the simple life that I outlined in my dream.  I want to leave the stressful work and enjoy the fruit of my hard-earned employee’s retirement benefits, social security, annuity, and etcetera.  I’ve been working for long and I think everything is just the same every day.  Sometimes I ask myself if my perseverance, hard work, loyalty and hardship to my work are really worth to do because I am doubt if they are really rewarded.  I’m fed up to my work and dealing with many superiors, that feeling of the need to perfect your work to please your boss, the feeling of obliged to wake up as early as 4 o’ clock in the morning every day and diligently work for 8 hours or more.  I’m tired to work the job again and again that is unappreciated and not properly rewarded, it is exhausting.   And I feel unlucky that my attempts to find the ideal job for me is always denied, it is frustrating.  I can’t help but to compare myself with those best colleagues.  I would say we could be equally working good but what makes my edge over them is my attitude - working beyond eight hours, loyalty to do the job without skipping for personal errand, and honesty to claim only the pay for what I really worked for.  I am not hoping a better compensation, eyeing a higher position, or acknowledge my work performance but what I wanted is to feel appreciated in my work.  Call it conditional, I love my job but I need my job to love me in return.

I already want to enjoy the remuneration of my retirement and the pension for myself.  It is said that by the time you get older will come out the different illness, it makes the retirement benefits you get will not be enjoyed because they will go only for your medical maintenance needs.  I know that but I am positive to be a healthy old man.   I may have illness from my old age but I don’t think it’ll be acute.  I am not afraid and bothered about this because I am not abusing myself.  That is why I am taking care my health today to enjoy soon the life of being old.  I want to feel the privileges given to senior citizens, received the respect accorded to the oldies, and the sense of importance bestowed to them.  I want to know how and what is life to be an old age.  I want to live the dreamed retirement home that I sketched, my rest house, my future sanctuary.  I want to live in a rural-like home far from noise, materialism and crowd.  I want to go back to my old habits and enjoyment - the planting.  Living in a simple and resilient house built in a spacious lot where I can do gardening as my recreation and diversion is what I wanted.  I want to live simple where I get my foods and water within my yard.

Not everyone wishes to become old for they are busy to enjoy their youth but am.  Maybe my lackluster, unexciting and uninteresting life made me think all these things and brought me the feeling of fast-tracking the life to get there.  I was not as weird as like this before when I was in my teens till my early thirties where I wanted more, where I planned the ambitions, where I searched my purpose and where I was afraid to get old.  I survived the so called mid-life crisis and with happiness now, I want to start the last part of our life.

By Alex V. Villamayor
May 19, 2016

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