MOMENT OF FEELING DISABLED

For the very first time in my long years of existence, I have to undergo a required surgery thru spinal anaesthesia for my medical condition.  But more than the medical reason of surgery is the lesson that I want to share.  It is not really a health issue nor a matter of emergency anyway and I can write a separate story about the medical reason but at this particular one, I would rather like to write here the story I have experienced that taught me remarkable lesson – it’s about becoming a disabled or paralyzed.

It was a six hours experience of feeling helpless and useless.   While the whole procedure of operation is on-going, I can’t help but to feel the condition of those people who are paralyzed by health and injury.  Except guidance from the Almighty Lord, I never thought my medical situation, not a single moment.  I was put in a situation where I feel other people.   To paralyze your body while your potent mind knows exactly what is going on, the feeling is tortured.  Although it was only from waist down but I really felt how morally down, appalling, belittling, sorry and sorrow their spirit.  I can’t get this out of my mind – that I just want to move any smallest part of my body down there but I can’t.  Now I see.

From the operating room to recovery room, I can’t stop to ponder the feeling of persons with disability specially those who were paralyzed due to illness.  And I vividly feel my mother. I felt what she is undergoing and how hard it is.  The feeling of – you want to do something simple but you can’t do it, it is so appalling.   My mother has been paralyzed for more than ten years now and still battling.  I’ve experience the six hours of “helpless” in my life but thinking my mother, I can’t imagine these six hours compare to ten years she is ridden in bed.  One by one, it quickly goes back in my mind to recall her struggles when she wants to scratch her back, blanket herself, move step her foot or simply wants to reach something but she cried because she can’t.  She has many things in her mind that she wanted to do but nothing she can do and it feels her useless.  I think the best thing to do to approach paralyzed people is to help them become independent.   Help them to adapt living the new life to don’t feel burden, self-pity, find their self worth, and purpose.

For those people who are excessively enjoying uncontrollable foods justifying life is too short to miss any of these – think again.  Think of stroke, cancer, heart attack, hypertension and think those people who are paralyzed due to these illnesses.  Fill their shoes that they battling for the rest of your life, you will really regret, remorse and cry self pity.  You may enjoy the careless life for ten to fifteen years but the one year of being paralyzed is more than twenty years to feel.  Skeptic people will still persist to enjoy food and do not cost cut yourself when it is about foods or might will say they have power to buy anything whatever foods they want to eat.  At the back of my healthy mind, these people are without knowing the abuse they do and I think they are not really skeptic but voracious.  People always have so many reasons but no matter what happen, healthy living is still the right thing.  My mother attested this saying if she can just turn back the time she will do taking care herself.  Everything should be in moderation because prevention is certainly better than cure.

By Alex V. Villamayor

July 24, 2016