Right now I am in a point where my interest in social fun is fading. Not sure if it is seclusion but I am certain that I am more interested in family and personal fun. It is just that I am no longer interested in much pleasure, lots of fun, entertainment and trivial worldliness. I feel I don’t need superfluous fun, fulsomeness habits and materialistic merriments for they are just mere redundancies. I have indulged myself enough. And I think I have to lose some spree, and instead I need to do something different but relevant.
It’s about time for me to disown some worldly things so I will give up old same usual mundane things that I have did for the past several years in my life. In a straightforward statement, I am losing interest in worldliness. Celebration and thanksgiving thru merriment like parties of foods, drinks, music, and big occasions are things that I want to drop. Keep the experiences in memories, choose the important and leave it up the rest. All these worldliness, I will turn my back with some of them and instead will go for family and personal goals. I think I need to let them go and I don’t feel my life today is uninteresting or boring in other word while in fact I feel now the better peace of mind.
It comes to a point where I don’t like much fun and I’m not enjoying them. I believe there’s nothing wrong with this. I think I’m fine with what I am going through. It’s a matter of priority, if I prefer other things over the things that I have accustomed. People change, if it is here where I’ll be happy and I think it’s not for the worse, then it is certainly not sadness at all as what other people may think. Nevertheless, rejecting social fun is not relevant to me. I am not bother about this because there is in me that I feel my presence is not necessary anyway and my company is not important at all. Being a quite person the nature I am, this will not be difficult for me. If you know the feeling of “you are interrelating but seem you do not exist”, this is where I am coming from. People are normally searching for their place and I think I found myself in simplicity, serenity, and singleness, I guess this is it.
There is nothing religious faith and influence, let say sanctification with this important and big change in my life. Neither a bad mood nor just had a bad day because both are nothing. It is simply a personal choice and self decision in making me good, kind and better. For I believe life must be simple, I want to make it simpler and easy. Repugnance and aversion to happiness is what I want to put into practice. The craze in lavish, materialistic, temporal, and earthen circumstances is only a matter of excessiveness. I don’t want it and I am not enjoying it now. At the end of the day, we are all looking for our happiness and I am contented in my feelings today.
Back in my mid-20, I dreamed myself as an old man in an unknown place where I’ve never been. Few years back, I said that I would like to settle in a quiet, serene and so nature place as my retiring home. When I set my feet in Palawan for the first time and recently in Batanes, this refreshed my dream anew. These places are far from noise of modern city, so natural, simple, pure and no calls of fun modern but simple fun. Under the impression of being amazed, I want to live in a rural place that is so closed to nature and I think that dream is happening now starting with my strong attachment in simplicity.
By Alex V. Villamayor
November 4, 2014