Wednesday, April 21, 2010

SELF ESTEEM

I am once in a while suffering from low self-esteem wherein I cannot feel better about myself. I don’t feel myself proud about my physical look. For time I always believe that those blue-eyed, blonde and white men are the perfect form of what we call true handsome. I’m quite insecure to think I don’t have the looks of what it takes to be good-looking man. I am dark, there is discoloration on my face. I don’t have a lot of hair in my arms, chest and legs, without having beard and now nearly call from being bald. I don’t have dimples, I have rounded nose, my lips are not kissable neither pouted but moreso they are big. My eyes are not those we call sparkling eyes, not even deep and beautiful eyes.

Pretty upset of these, I said I am not blessed. During my younger years, I did not attempt to apply the position when I see in the classified ads that above pleasing personality is required. I don’t have confidence I can pass the personality test with the personality I have. When I was working, I cannot get along and mingle with these good-looking office boys in their long-sleeve and slacks, I feel little myself with what I have and I can’t get have enough. I know I am not endearing that others will not attract to me. I have fear of losing love because of my personality.

I feel emotionally down that I feel anything I want to do cannot be good and it pressures my burden. When that guilt hounded me during my lonesomeness, I have realized the loosing moment I missed to seize up. During myself reflection, I’ve realized to change my outlook about personality. I started to find my strength, advantages, the better side of me and use it as my tools to stand over the other. I learned to look on the other side to find my strength rather than my physical look. Yes, I am not good-looking but my spirit, compassion and relation with others are good. I may not be the tall, dark and handsome nor may not the typical mestizo but I tried to believe myself that good look is just in the eyes of the beholder. It’s really up to someone who is looking at you. I may not be good looking to you, but on the other’s sight I can be.

Humans are created after the image of God.  If you are feeling down with your personality, stop and think about this - God did not create hideous creature.  You have to believe to yourself because it is not really only the physical beauty that is important but also the inner.  Like in a saying "what’s essential is invisible to the naked eyes", character and personality are far more important than physical beauty. (SRRG)


Alex  V. Villamayor
April 2010

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